The Galaxy is ours
by Biekewieke
Summary: Fanfiction based on the events that took place in Star Wars: The Last Jedi Work in progress, just the very beginning of what will hopefully evolve into an elaborate, compelling story Will involve some smut as it progresses :)
1. Prologue

Everyone had found a place to rest on the Millenium Falcon.  
Fatigue had settled in as adrenaline had slowly but surely drained each and every one of the remaining Resistance Fighters. The silence grew louder with every parsec they distanced themselves from Crait and they all came to terms with the fact that they were the only survivors. That their friends and family had died and that their fleet had been diminished to one single banged-up old Corellian Light Freighter.  
Poe had joined Chewie in the cockpit. Finn was still sitting with Rose, obviously trying to stay awake but not really succeeding much. Leia had retired early, claiming Han's old quarters. She was a strong woman but she had been seriously injured and still needed plenty of rest. Not to mention how taxing this day had been on her.  
The other members of the Resistance had insisted that Rey take the other bunk, granting her some much-needed privacy on this suddenly too crowded freighter. She seemed to be their new beacon, replacing Luke as the new and only Force User they had. She was their new hope. The responsibility of that expectation almost made it impossible to breathe…  
The near silence on the Falcon was both unsettling and soothing.  
Rey took a deep breath and went to the room they had appointed her.  
Once she was inside, she closed the door and leaned her forehead against it.  
Alone at last, she couldn't stop the tears streaming down her face.  
She kept seeing the look in Ben's eyes, as he sat there on his knees, looking up at her with such despair in his eyes. She could still hear his mental plea echoing in her mind.  
 _Don't leave me, Rey.  
_ Her heart squeezed almost painfully at the reminder. It squeezed even harder as she remembered his plea on the Supremacy to join him. To stand with him.  
 _You have no place in this story._ _You come from nothing. You are nothing… But not to me.  
_ The way his voice had sounded broken and fragile when he almost whispered _please._  
And she had been so tempted. _So tempted!_  
But she couldn't. She couldn't turn away from the people who counted on her.  
Finn, Leia, Chewie, BB8, C3PO, R2D2, all the people at the Resistance. They were counting on her, they cared about her, she cared about them. She couldn't walk away from them, not after all they had been through.  
She knew that she had done the right thing, that she had made the right decision.  
But why then was she feeling so torn inside? So lost? As if a part of her had stayed behind with him.  
The image of him lying on that throne room floor when she had woken up after their fight for the lightsaber, unconscious, was burned on the back of her eyelids. She had rushed to his side, panicking at the thought that he might be hurt or dead.  
When she realized he was still breathing, that his heart was still beating, that he wasn't really wounded, she let out a small cry of relief. She had brushed the hair out of his eyes and kissed his forehead gently as she had whispered _Come back to me, Ben. Please..  
_ She had gotten up to leave, making absolutely sure not to look back. She knew if she did, she wouldn't be able to leave him.  
And now the memory haunted her. Another tear ran down her cheek.  
The only one who knew what was going on, who she would have been able to talk to, had been Luke. And now even he was gone.  
She had no one to talk to. Once again, she was all alone.  
Without any warning, she felt the back of her neck prick. A mechanically induced white noise sounded softly around her. She felt her heart expand and pull in a way she had countless times before.  
 _The Bond…  
Space._  
Nothing but the vastness of space around them.  
Under normal circumstances, the sight brought him a semblance of peace. Or rather, it could calm his usually erratic temper.  
Right now however, as he stood in front of the windows in his personal quarters, it tormented him. It mocked him.  
The galaxy seemed as quiet and forlorn as the Force Bond he shared with her.  
She was out there somewhere. Out of his reach. Both physically and in the Bond.  
It confused him. This way he was feeling right now.  
He was consumed by emotions he had not allowed himself to feel so fully in years. He felt anger, rage, fury, yes. He was familiar with those emotions. Thrived on them. They fed his power in the Dark Side and he always embraced them with gratitude.  
But he also felt hurt. So incredibly wounded. Rejected. Abandoned…  
The pain was of a different kind than it had ever been in the past. He didn't want to admit it, but he missed her. He hadn't been fully dislodged from her like this in what felt like weeks. It was like a part of him was missing. Which was ridiculous. But still…  
He kept reliving the despair he had felt when they had last seen each other through the Bond.  
She had looked at him, her hand hovering over the control panel for the door, and he could feel her conflict through the Force.  
She had wanted to stay with him. He had felt it. Had felt the indecision. The conflict.  
But he had also clearly seen the disappointment in her eyes. Had felt her disappointment and sadness down to his bones. She had expected to save him. To turn him. When he had saved her by killing Snoke, when he had fought by her side against the Praetorians, she had thought he had chosen the Light over the Dark. Until he had spoken up, unwilling to save that pitiful fleet of Resistance Fighters.  
All he had wanted, all he had craved was her by his side as they started a new era in the galaxy.  
Together, they would have been able to create a new way of life. A new Order. A new time, where everyone would be content with.  
He felt a strange sensation overtake him again, much like what he had felt right after she had closed the door on the Falcon. His heart – or what was left of it – suddenly felt constricted. As if she had taken it out of his chest and squeezed it in front of his eyes. The pain was so intense, he would rather be shot by Chewie's bowcaster again. He closed his eyes, pushing his fingers against his closed lids. The physical pain would not even come close to relieving the turmoil in his soul.  
The regret had come as soon as he had seen her standing there lookind down at him.  
He had mentally begged her not to leave him. Didn't she know that he needed her?  
And when she had closed that door, he had heard the echoes reverberate in his ears, his mind, his heart and his soul. And he felt an irrational fear creep in as a thought formed in his mind.  
Now that Snoke was gone, would their Bond disappear as well?  
After all, Snoke had admitted to forging it as a trap. He had felt a semblance of betrayal when he first heard the Supreme Leader say it, but something inside him whispered that it would only have been a matter of time.  
If that were true, then why was he not sensing her anymore? Seeing her? Hearing her?  
He hated this obsession he had with her. But he would risk his life if he could talk to her just once more.  
His hand came up to touch the cold glass and he leaned his head against it. To his dismay, he felt a single tear run down his cheek, right down the scar she had given him on Starkiller.  
 _When she branded me as hers…_  
He sighed deeply and closed his eyes. As he tried to calm his breathing, something around him shifted. The hairs on the back of his neck pricked and he felt his stomach tremble. The sensation was familiar and strange at the same time. Beeps and creaks reached him, though faintly. He knew these sounds. He knew what emitted them. _The Falcon_  
Memories of flying with Han rushed back to him briefly. Sitting on his lap. Han teaching him how to fly. Han telling him not to tell his mother, or they would both be in trouble. He frowned at the memories, a strange combination of happiness and sadness. _This is crazy…  
_ He turned to see where the sounds came from and there she was. Leaning her forehead against the door in the same stance he had adopted mere seconds ago.  
He stopped breathing, afraid that he was imagining things. He didn't dare move for fear of this image to disappear.  
Her head came up and she tilted her head ever so slightly.  
"Ben? Is that you?"  
Her voice, just barely above whisper, sounded like music to his ears. She sounded hopeful. Or was that his own desire? He kept silent, not wanting to mess up yet again.  
And then she turned around and faced him. There was nowhere left to hide.  
"Ben." 


	2. Chapter 1

She sounded breathless as his name escaped her lips. Even to her own ears.  
Her breathing quickened. Her heart rate increased. Her hands trembled.  
The sight of him rattled her.  
He looked tired. Torn. Bleak. And he even looked frightened somehow.  
She was surprised. She hadn't expected this. She hadn't felt him once in the two weeks they had been travelling.  
Poe, Chewie and Leia had decided it was too early to touch down for more than a few hours at a time. They would land on a remote planet to refuel and to replenish supplies and would quickly head out again. They were still thinking of an appropriate destination to settle, trying to figure out where they could go so that the First Order would not be able to track them. The Outer Rim was the obvious solution, but would not suffice long term. For the past two weeks, they had been debating back and forth.  
And in that time… nothing. She figured the Bond they shared must have died along with Snoke.  
And now, here he was again.  
He looked worn down and yet the sight of him had never been more welcome than right now.  
Still… Something was different. She couldn't quite put her finger on it, but something in their Bond had changed. She could… sense more. _Feel_ more.  
He seemed to freeze in place, equally flustered. Almost as if he were too scared to move.  
He looked as shocked as that first time, when she'd tried to shoot him.  
She frowned. Maybe she was imagining things. Fatigue did that to people sometimes.  
"Are you really here, or is my mind playing tricks on me?" she asked quietly.  
He swallowed past the lump in his throat.  
"I'm here." He answered just as quietly. The deep timbre of his voice seemed to resonate through her every cell, causing her skin to tingle.  
For a moment, they said nothing. Just stared at each other.  
"Why are you here?" she spoke calmly.  
"I don't know." He said.  
Again, she frowned.  
"Why is this still possible?" she said tensely. "Snoke is dead. This Bond should have died with him."  
She suddenly sensed his anger. And his pain.  
"I don't know. My guess is that Snoke didn't forge it."  
"What are you saying? He admitted it himself." She spat.  
She saw a muscle tick in his jaw. His full lips were drawn into a tight line.  
"Force Bonds are not forged that way." He said with an undertone of anger. He remembered feeling shocked and betrayed as Snoke admitted to linking their minds. But he also remembered that Force Bonds were forged through passion and compassion. Not through manipulation.  
"I don't think he created it. Maybe, he amplified it. But he didn't forge it."  
She shook her head. "I don't believe you."  
He snorted quietly and rolled his eyes. "There's a first…" he murmured sarcastically as he averted his gaze.  
She lifted an eyebrow. "You have your father's sense of humor." She stated flatly.  
Her words hit their mark. His gaze found hers again, his black eyes blazing with anger and indignation.  
"It's the only trait I found interesting enough to keep." He retorted with venom.  
This raised Rey's hackles.  
"You should have paid more attention. Your father had many fine qualities. He was handsome and charming and very lovable. You should have seen him as an example. Being more like him would have served you well."  
And then she felt it…  
Anger and resentment and pain coursed through him. _So much pain…_ Her words had wounded him. Cut through him like diamonds cut glass. And jealousy…  
 _Jealousy?_  
She saw the muscles in his jaw and beneath his eyes contract. Felt the fury he was trying to keep in check. He took a few steps in her direction, narrowing his eyes at her.  
"You only knew him for a few days. You would have resented him sooner or later. Han was just a swindler. A con man. He was strung together by so many lies and bullshit he wound up believing them himself. There was _nothing_ exemplary about him." He snarled, putting emphasis on the word nothing.  
She stepped closer too, never breaking eye contact. She stopped when she stood three feet apart.  
She had to tip her head up to be able to stare into his eyes, but she never wavered.  
"You're wrong. Your father was a wonderful man. He was kind and caring and loyal to those he loved. And he loved you, Ben. More than you could ever imagine. He would have done anything for you. He _did_ everything he could for you. Even when you killed him, he continued to love you. You call him weak and foolish. I call him strong and determined."  
She took another step forward, standing just a few inches apart.  
She gazed into his eyes, trying not to drown in those black pools of emotional turmoil. Her stomach quivered at their nearness. But she needed to get this point across.  
"Ben… You _are_ your father's son!" she whispered fervently. "No matter how much you try to deny it, you have your parents blood flowing through your veins."  
She licked her lips briefly and felt a brief flicker of fear when his gaze continued to burn through her angrily. What if she couldn't get through him?  
"I hope you realize what a gift that is someday."  
She watched his jaw lock, the way his teeth were clenched. She felt the storm that was brewing inside him. She felt his conflict as if it were her own.  
"Don't hold your breath." He clipped.  
She had never felt his emotions as clear as she did now. His pain, his anger, his disappointment, the betrayal he had felt, the abandonment… They rippled through her and combined in a great big knotted ball of feelings that would be difficult to untangle.  
And she couldn't help but want to offer him a measure of comfort.  
Out of its own volition, her hand slowly reached up to touch his cheek.  
She felt him go completely still.  
Her palm cupped his jaw as her thumb gently traced the outline of his scar. Something about that simple gesture moved her deeply and she suddenly felt an inappropriate sense of pride.  
 _I gave him that scar. I marked him. He's mine.  
_ Where that last thought came from, she would never know. But something shifted.  
He made a small sound and frowned. Almost as if he had heard her thoughts. His eyes suddenly grew… Intense.  
Everything about this man was intense. Had been since the moment they had met on Takodana.  
But he had never looked at her quite the way he did right now. Not even during the interrogation. And she had never responded quite like this either.  
Her entire body seemed very finely attuned to him. Her stomach quivered, she trembled all over, she felt goosebumps and hairs rise and her heart skipped a beat. Her breath hitched and she was both surprised and scared by the depth of her reaction.  
Then without warning he stepped back, putting distance between them.  
Confusion washed over her, but she couldn't say if it was her own or his.  
He was breathing hard, staring at her intently.  
She frowned as she felt his emotions flow through her again.  
He was angry and frustrated. His mouth twisted into a grimace, cruel in its beautiful imitation of a smile.  
"Believe what you will. It won't make a difference."  
A muscle twitched near his lips, temporarily contorting his beautiful, gentle face into a cruel and almost hideous caricature.  
"Han Solo is gone. He's dead. As for his son…" he looked haunted all of a sudden.  
 _His son wishes he shared the same fate.  
_ The thought rung in her head as if he had spoken aloud.  
Their eyes met and she saw despair reflected in his gaze.  
And just like that, the contact was broken. She was left alone in her quarters again.  
She drew in a shaky breath and sank down on the cot.  
Confusion washed over her in tidal waves.  
Snoke was dead. And yet, their Bond was alive and kicking. _How?_  
A memory suddenly flashed before her eyes.  
The interrogation. He had probed her mind gently, almost tenderly. She had turned the probe on him. Almost as if he had let her. Just to see how it would turn out. And she had reached into him, seen a part of him he kept hidden from everyone else.  
Another flash. This time of their fight on Starkiller. The moment he had offered to teach her. The moment he mentioned the Force, she had closed her eyes and searched for it. And he had let her… He had waited her out, staring into her face and allowing her to find what she needed with patience and resolve.  
When her eyes had opened, something significant had shifted. She had tapped in on her anger, let it fuel her. Almost as if he had guided her to do that.  
After that, it seemed like something had slumbered. He had been on her mind constantly, although it was subconsciously.  
 _Had their Force Bond been forged in that moment? Without Snoke?_  
She sighed deeply and felt exhaustion course through her like a river. She toed off her boots and lay down on the cot, not even bothering to remove her clothes. She simply pulled the blanket over her and allowed blissful slumber to overtake her. The last image that crossed her mind before darkness took over, was that of a pair of black eyes looking back at her with despair… 


	3. Chapter 2

He had broken the contact himself.  
That was a first!  
It usually ended on its own whim.  
This time, it had been his own choice though. Rey was getting too close. He needed to back out.  
And as soon as he had done it, he regretted it instantly.  
That seemed to be his preferred method of operations lately.  
Wherever Rey was concerned he would do something impulsively, only to regret it immediately more often than not.  
He was so filled with rage and disgusted with himself, with this foolish weakness of his, that he needed to lash out.  
He thumbed his lightsaber to life and slashed into the wall. Multiple times. Angry, violent stroke after stroke, directing all of his fury at the smooth surface. The metal and stone soon ended up mangled and glowing redhot, and still it didn't quench his anguish.  
He shut down the lightsaber, put his fists on a nearby table and closed his eyes.  
 _Rey._  
The girl messed with his head. _And my heart…_  
She made him feel things he didn't want to feel.  
When she had touched him, when she had traced his scar… Kriff!  
His body had responded to it almost violently. He had wanted to taste her lips more than he wanted his next breath.  
But even stronger than that was his soul's reaction. The pull to the Light had never been so strong!  
He had wanted to be the man she thought him to be. He had almost crossed that line.  
Thank the Force that he had been able to step back when he did. Who knows where it would have led them otherwise…  
He breathed hard, trying to get a grip on his feelings.  
He had to be careful. If he wasn't, he would follow her wherever she wanted him to. And much to his dismay, the prospect held so much appeal right now, that it blew his mind.  
He released a long sigh and returned to the window where he had been standing before their Force Bond kicked in again.  
He looked out and was surprised to find that his outlook on the panoramic view before him had changed.  
He knew she was out there now. That he would still be able to see her. That their Bond wasn't lost…  
It calmed him, brought back some of the peace that he had been sorely lacking these past two weeks.  
He frowned as he realized that she had a stronger hold on him than he wanted to admit.  
His frown got more pronounced when another thought popped into his head.  
 _If I was able to end the Force bond session… Wouldn't I be able to start one?  
_ A small smile played with his mouth as he pondered that notion.  
Would he be able to call out to her? Would she be able to pick it up? Would she respond?  
Curiosity prompted his next action. He took a deep breath and reached out, calling her pretty face to mind. Willing to connect with her.  
And then it happened…  
In less time than it took him to blink, his surroundings seemed to fade and he was in her room again.  
He blinked and looked around, slightly confused by the fact it had worked. He looked back at the cot, and there she was.  
She hadn't even bothered to change into night clothes. She'd simply tossed her shoes and laid down.  
Her face was beautiful when she was awake, but it was breathtaking when she slept. Her beautiful dark hair framed her almost angelic face.  
She exuded this aura of peace and serenity.  
He couldn't rightly remember if he had ever slept that soundly in his life.  
Her soft snores amused him and touched him in that arid soul of his.  
 _I still can't believe that worked!_ He mused softly.  
On their own volition, his feet started towards her. Silently he stepped closer and closer until he was at the edge of the cot. Quietly, he knelt down at her side and allowed himself a few moments to study her.  
She seemed oblivious to the world. Her innocence moved him.  
Without even thinking, his hand reached out and tenderly touched her hair.  
As if on cue, Rey sighed and with a contented smile murmured sleepily: "Ben."  
He felt as if she had punched him in the gut.  
Her smile lingered.  
His heart lurched and his body tightened in a way he wasn't familiar with.  
He was acquainted with lust. With the need for physical release. He was a virile young man. He hadn't found the desire enticing enough to act upon, though. Always putting his training and his goals above such frivolous notions.  
But nothing had ever felt quite like this before. _Except…  
_ Except when he had been with her that night and their hands had touched.  
He was just about to pull back his hand as if he had been burned when her eyes fluttered open.  
She looked up at him sleepily, not really able to focus.  
"Ben?" she murmured softly.  
"Ssssht, you're just dreaming." He crooned quietly.  
"Is it you?"  
"Yes, it's just me." He whispered. "Go back to sleep, sweetheart."  
Her eyes were already closing when a brilliant smile curved her mouth.  
"I'm glad you're back. I missed you." She said on a soft sigh as she burrowed her head deeper in the pillow and blissfully went back to sleep.  
"I missed you too." He whispered roughly. Her words took his breath away.  
He sat back on his haunches and stared at her sleeping form. Utterly dumbfounded.  
He pulled her blanket back up over her shoulders, making sure she was neatly tucked in.  
He gently broke the connection and returned to his own quarters with his emotions even more tangled up than before.  
This was not going to go the way he had thought… 

Rey woke early the next morning.  
She felt more relaxed than she had in ages. So happy. She smiled softly as she slowly got up.  
She couldn't even tell why she was so happy. All she could remember was falling asleep after figuring out that her Force Bond with Ben wasn't dead after all.  
 _No. That's not all._ She thought quietly.  
Another silly smile played with the corners of her mouth.  
She'd had a dream of him. He'd been at her side, kind and comforting. Gentle. Saying he'd missed her too.  
She actually giggled at the mere thought, though her humor quickly faltered.  
Of course he couldn't really miss her. The great Supreme Leader Kylo Ren missed no one. But in her dreams he did, apparently. And she found that she wanted him to.  
She shook her head to rid her thoughts of such nonsense.  
But it had been very pleasant while it lasted.  
In her dream, Ben had even called her sweetheart. The memory of that endearment and the tenderness in his voice as he'd said it made her heart flutter in her chest.  
She frowned and scolded herself for acting like a lovesick teenager.  
There was no future for her and Ben. Ben was gone. Lost to the Dark Side. He was back to being Kylo Ren. It was fanciful to continue to contemplate such tomfoolery.  
As long as they were on opposite ends, no good would come of it. They would remain enemies.  
She would never turn to the Dark Side.  
He would not return to the Light.  
So that was that. _Unless I could coax him back through the Bond…_  
She resolved herself not to think of him today. It was a waste of time and energy.  
She got up, quickly freshened up and pulled her hair back and exited the room.  
Determination quickened her pace as she met up with the core team in the cockpit.  
Poe, Finn, Leia and Chewie were already huddled together when she walked in.  
They all looked up at her as she entered and she smiled brightly.  
"Goodmorning!"  
Leia's eyebrows shot up slightly, Finn and Poe frowned at her and Chewie let out a series of groans that made her laugh.  
"Nothing's the matter, Chewie. I just had a very good night's sleep. That's all."  
She gave the Wookie a brilliant smile and reached past him to grab the thermos of caf.  
As she poured herself a cup, she caught Poe looking at her with slightly narrowed eyes and a mysterious smile. She smiled back, then smiled at Finn before turning her attention to Leia.  
"How are we doing, General Organa?" she asked energetically.  
"Have we decided on a location yet?"  
Leia eyed her skeptically. As if she instinctively knew more about Rey's suspicious good mood. She said nothing about it though, keeping her attention riveted on the here and now.  
"We've come up with two possibilities." She sighed wearily.  
"And those would be?" Rey asked as she lifted her cup of caf to her lips. She took a tentative sip and kept her gaze fixed on Leia.  
"Dantooine or Utapau."  
"What?" Rey exclaimed without much subtlety.  
"Why in the Galaxy would you choose those two planets?" she continued hastily. "Dantooine has already served as a Rebel base twice before! And Utapau? That's too dangerous! We don't know if we have any allies there!"  
"That's exactly why those two are an option." Poe interjected calmly.  
"Rebels have already settled there twice. The First Order would never think to look for us there, because it's been done before…"  
Rey started shaking her head and Finn saw the need to interject.  
"Rey, he's right. Dantooine is the obvious choice because it's the most obvious choice. It would be too much in their face, so they wouldn't even think of it. Utapau is also a great location, because of its large mazes. The tunnels underneath the rocklayer are long and complicated. We could stay there undetected for quite some time. The First Order has no interest in the planet. They rejected it as soon as they took over control of the Galaxy."  
Chewbacca threw in some low grunts for good measure, translating roughly into "I'm sticking with them on this one.".  
She looked at Leia and pleaded her with her eyes.  
"General, surely there are better options to found a Resistance Base?"  
Leia looked at her and with a single, almost indiscernible lift of her eyebrow addressed her directly.  
"Do you have a better alternative? If we want any chances of survival, we will need to touch down and settle soon. If only to regroup and replenish. So any suggestions are more than appreciated…" She lifted her chin and looked up at Rey with a tilted chin and a challenge in her eyes.  
Leia, leader of the Resistance Army, Prinses of Alderaan, exuded command with every single twitch and micro-expression. She was royalty, and the way she held herself attested to it.  
 _Much like Ben holds himself… Even his looks resemble his mothers…_  
The thought sprung out of nowhere.  
And Leia suddenly narrowed her eyes ever so slightly. As if she had somehow sensed Rey's train of thoughts.  
Rey lowered her gaze and decided to stay out of it. This wasn't her decision to make.  
"No, I don't. I'm sorry I questioned your reasoning, General Organa."  
"That's allright, sweetheart. I'd be more concerned if you didn't question it from time to time." She smiled gently.  
Rey's eyes whipped up at the mention of the word sweetheart.  
 _Yes, it's just me. Go back to sleep, sweetheart._  
Ben's voice resonated in her memory and she couldn't help her heart from picking up it's pace.  
Her breath caught in her throat for the tiniest of seconds, but it had been long enough. Leia had picked it up.  
Rey sometimes forgot that this woman was not only Ben's mother, but that she was also very strong with the Force. She probably saw right through her.  
Leia narrowed her eyes at Rey, and she could feel the questions bubble up in the older woman's mind.  
She needed to get out of that cockpit. Pronto!  
"Yes, well, I'll see what I can do." She said with an impish grin.  
"Is it allright if I sit down and have breakfast now?"  
Leia smiled and waved her off. "Of course. Go! Enjoy breakfast. But I would like to talk with you later today, if you don't mind?"  
Rey felt a momentary surge of panic, but quickly squelched it. She smiled at everyone in the cockpit and turned on her heel to head for the food supplies pantry.  
As she took out her breakfast ration, she felt a strange tug. A shift in her surroundings. Almost imperceptible. She looked to her left and almost dropped her plate when she saw what seemed to be Ben's quarters on the Supremacy. He wasn't paying her any attention at all.  
He was sitting at a table with a plate in front of him. He was bare-chested and absently scrolling down a datapad as he sipped a hot beverage in a metal cup. Probably caf. As black as his hair. Her breath caught in her chest and she felt that strange sensation course through her again. The one she had felt on Ahch-To, when their hands had touched. There was something very intimate about seeing him this way. Almost relaxed. Without his guard up. The sight of that bare chest… It made her stomach quiver and her hands tremble. She recognized the sensation, though she couldn't quite place it.  
 _Anticipation…_  
She frowned. He didn't seem to be aware of her at all…  
Just as she was about to say or do something, the vision faded. She was suddenly standing in front of the pantry again, with a dozen people milling around her.  
Completely confused, she sat down at the small table and started her breakfast in silence. 


	4. Chapter 3

The day stretched into yet another uneventful passing of time.  
They slept, they ate, they talked. Everyone contributed according to their own skills. For some that meant tinkering on the Falcon, trying to get it into shape as much as they could with the means at their disposal. For others it meant keeping the ship tidy, preparing meals, doing calculations, providing medical care or basically anything that needed to be done.  
Poe and Chewie manned the cockpit. Poe had stepped up to leadership, encouraged by Leia, and so had Finn. They had been discussing the pro's and con's of the two planets they had chosen as their possible new base.  
Rey still thought they were out of their minds for considering those two. But she honestly didn't have a better idea, so she decided she should keep quiet.  
Right now, there wasn't much that she could do, so she had taken one of the old Jedi text books and had retired to her room.  
She was lost in thought when the sound of knocking brought her out of her concentration.  
"Come in." she said clearly.  
When the door opened, Leia's head peaked through the opening.  
"Mind if I join you?" she said with an engaging smile.  
Rey couldn't help but smile back.  
"Of course not. Please." She said softly as she put the book away and gestured for Leia to sit down.  
As she lowered herself, Leia's eyes never left Rey's.  
She continued to search her for a few silent moments, the scrutiny slowly became uncomfortable.  
Rey didn't flinch however, feeling this was a necessity.  
Leia's eyes narrowed and a slight smile, just the hint of one, played with the corners of her mouth. It was so much like Ben's almost smile, it momentarily took Rey's breath away.  
"Something…" she said barely audible. Again, this reminded Rey of Ben so much. He'd said something similar in Takodana.  
"There's something going on, isn't there?" she addressed Rey firmly. Her eyes narrowed again.  
"Oh?" Rey uttered softly.  
"Don't play games with me, Rey." Leia admonished. "I didn't get this far by being blind to details."  
The older woman scooted a little closer.  
"I trust you, Rey." She said sincerely. "But there's a catch to gaining my trust." Her eyes bored into Rey's, and again she drew the comparison to Ben. They shared the same intensity when they meant something.  
"It means I expect you to be completely honest with me. We are a Rebellion. Which means that trust is a very sacred and very fragile thing. Easily damaged and impossible to fully restore…"  
She let her words trail off and Rey fought not to squirm.  
Leia straightened again and folded her hands in her lap, her voice becoming pleasant and conversational again.  
"So… I would like to know what's going on."  
Rey swallowed over the lump in her throat.  
"I don't know if I can tell you." She whispered.  
Leia laughed at that.  
"Sweetheart, trust me. I can take anything you could be able to tell me. I've seen and heard it all."  
Rey frowned. Leia's words were true. She had been through the best and the worst times. All of the most awful and despicable and darkest moments in the history of the Galaxy were closely linked – related! – to her on a personal level. This woman's mother had fought to save democracy and freedom in the Galaxy, while her father had betrayed and all but wiped out the major portion of the Jedi Order. He had turned to the Dark Side and had brought terror and despair to the Galaxy.  
She herself had been fighting alongside the Rebellion, and had played an important role when the Empire had finally been brought to its knees. As the First Order rose, she had continued her lifelong goal by countering it with the Resistance, losing her only son to the Darkness in the process. Only to now be faced with the fact that said son was the Supreme Leader, and thereby becoming her most hated enemy.  
Rey swallowed again, and averted her gaze.  
"Leia… " she started haltingly. "I really don't know if…"  
"it has to do with my son." Leia said matter-of-factly.  
Rey's eyes shot up. Their gazes locked again and Rey felt as if Leia were staring into her very soul.  
She couldn't utter a single word for the life of her. So she nodded.  
Leia's gaze became guarded, as if trying to protect herself from heartache.  
"Well? Spit it out. No need to mince words about it."  
Rey frowned and didn't know what to do. So she did exactly what Leia said. She spit it out…  
"Ben and I share a Force Bond."  
Leia froze.  
"A What?" she asked quietly.  
Rey bit her lip as apprehension and fear niggled at her and repeated quietly.  
"Ben and I share a Force Bond. We can sense each other through the Force. I can see him, and he can see me. We can talk. We can feel each others emotions and we know each others thoughts."  
Leia's reaction confirmed her trepidation.  
The woman froze. Her eyes turned cold. Within the space of a second, the only mother figure she'd ever know distanced herself from her, and Rey felt torn.  
"You can…" her words trailed off. She briefly closed her eyes and Rey could feel her stomach sink.  
"Leia, I swear…"  
"What have you been telling him? Does he know where we are? Have you been giving up intel?" Leia interrupt sharply.  
"Of course not." Rey drew back, as if Leia had slapped her across the face.  
Her reaction seemed to calm Leia down somewhat.  
Rey shook her head, unsure of how to continue.  
"I don't know how it happened. I woke up one day on Ach-To and all of a sudden, there he was. It was just very sporadic at first, but somehow these visits – or whatever one could call it – were happening more frequently. And I… He's just… We… " she halted. She frowned as she searched for the right words, unable to come up with them. She looked up at Leia and let her gaze bore into the older woman's.  
"When Luke found out, he literally blew up my cabin. He was so angry! He thought Ben was out to turn me to the Dark Side, but he that was not his intention! We just… I've had plenty of opportunities to go to the Dark, but I never did. I don't think I ever will. As for Ben…"  
She kept quiet for a few moments, lost in thought. Memories of their talks, of the feelings that had coursed through her as their hands had touched, of what it had been like when it had been the two of them against the Praetorian Guards… He had killed Snoke for her… She closed her eyes briefly and felt the emotion burst in her heart.  
"There is still Light in him. I know it. I can feel it!"  
She scooted closer ever so slightly and pleaded with her eyes.  
"Leia, I would never _ever_ do anything to bring you all in jeopardy! You have to believe me. I would never tell him anything that would cause you or the Resistance any harm!"  
She anxiously touched Leia's hands, afraid Ben's mother would turn away from her.  
"But I cannot give up on him. _I won't give up on him_." She whispered. "He can still come back. I can help him. I know it."  
Leia let out a great sigh and averted her eyes. She even pulled back her hands and turned away from Rey.  
"You realize that I cannot confide in you any longer?" she asked stoically. "That I have to cut you off from any important decision making?"  
Rey looked up at her. Anger surged.  
"I thought you trusted me." She said flatly.  
"That was before I learned of this Force Bond."  
"The Force Bond shouldn't matter!" Rey raised her voice. Immediately she felt ashamed of yelling at Leia.  
"I'm sorry," she said quietly, "but I don't see why your trust in me should be so fickle because of this. I spoke the honest truth! I didn't lie about it when you asked me." Rey lifted her chin in defiance.  
"I thought you of all people would be able to understand." She said wryly.  
Leia looked up at her and lifted a brow.  
"If I hadn't figured out something was out of place on my own, you would never have told me about this." Leia countered.  
Rey shook her head.  
"I would have told you, Leia." She sighed. "But it's still so new… I'm not quite sure how it works yet. I can now see flashes of him sometimes without him being aware of it, and I'm not certain how that's going to evolve. Snoke said he was the one who bridged our minds, but that just feels wrong. I'm more sure now than ever that this connection was formed when I turned his mind probe on him."  
Leia looked more concerned with every passing word.  
"You know…" she started calmly, "If you can see him, then he can probably see you too."  
Rey frowned at that. She hadn't even given it a thought. But now it felt as if her entire world screeched to a halt.  
"Oh my… you're right. He probably could."  
Her hand lifted to her forehead as panic flashed across her face. She sagged back onto the cot.  
She was putting the Resistance in danger. She could bring them harm because of the connection she shared with him. Her friends, the people she cared about, they could really be hurt and killed if he somehow figured out where they were… How could she have been so blind?  
A single, big fat tear slipped down her cheek. She looked up at Leia with a lost expression in her eyes.  
"I'm sorry Leia. I didn't know… I… Please don't hate me…" her voice broke off in a sob.  
Leia sighed in defeat.  
This hadn't even come close to what she thought this was going to be about.  
And seeing the girl, this brave young woman, so upset made her wonder about quite a few things.  
Her loyalty to the Resistance and her friends was obvious. But Leia sensed that Rey's feelings for her son were even deeper than that. And since Rey had met with her son on more than one occasion and lived to tell the tale, it made her think that perhaps Rey was right. There was still Light in him, and Rey brought it out in him…  
She stepped closer and sat down next to Rey. She gathered the girl in her arms and hugged her close.  
"I don't hate you Rey. This whole thing just caught me by surprise." She said calmly.  
"We'll figure something out." She sighed. "Maybe we'll figure out a way to use this bond to our advantage."  
Rey stiffened in her arms and pulled back.  
Her tear stricken face suddenly became determined.  
"I will not use this connection with him as a weapon, Leia." Her jaw locked and her chin lifted.  
"He trusts me. I will not betray him like that." She stared Leia down and added as an afterthought: "He's been through it enough. I won't do it."  
Instantly her mind took her back to Snoke's throne room. Essentially, she herself had betrayed his trust already when she refused to join him. She had felt it through their Bond. He had trusted her, opened himself up to her, and she had shot him down. Not for the first time, either. She wouldn't do it again. It would break her heart, eventhough she knew she should hate him.  
The barb hit home with Leia, but she said nothing. She simply nodded.  
"I understand." She said coolly.  
"I expect you to keep me informed from time to time. I know I shouldn't really be asking this, but if you learn anything that would endanger our survival or has to do with imminent attacks on our people, you will let me know?"  
Rey frowned. "Of course."  
"Very well. I will keep the intel on our potential Base site secret for now, just in case. Although, I am sure you will have the common sense not to disclose any information about it to third parties." She stated dryly.  
Rey knew when she was being dismissed. The tone of their conversation had changed dramatically.  
"Yes General Organa." She replied quietly.  
"And I will keep you posted on any new developments should they occur."  
Leia nodded and walked up to the door. With her hand on the doorknob, she paused and turned slightly.  
"Rey…" she started and then looked her in the eye.  
"Should the occasion arise…" she said haltingly, unsure of how to proceed.  
Rey waited her out, sensing that this was important.  
"Tell my son we want him back." She said quietly. "That we'll wait for however long we have to. Tell him…" She smiled sadly and Rey could feel Leia's heartache as if it were her own.  
"Tell him the Light will always be here, ready to welcome him home."  
She opened the door and walked out, quietly closing it behind her.  
She left a stunned Rey behind, staring after her in amazement.


	5. Chapter 4

The room was brightly lit, the sterile and cold white lighting creating deep contrasts with the dark furniture and steel walls.  
Several men and women in command, of different ages and ranks, were gathered around the large conference table.  
For the past hour and a half, Hux and his pitiful band of commanders had been discussing battle plans and tactics to figure out how to find the remaining Resistance Fighters and how to annihilate them.  
Supreme Leader Kylo Ren had listened to them halfheartedly, unpleasantly surprised he was surrounded by so many bumbling, incompetent fools. The only one who honestly had a strategy and vision that might work was Hux of all people!  
Snoke had been right about him. If you played into a rabid cur's weakness, it could become a very sharp tool. And Hux's weakness was his pride. If you made him feel like he was an important part of the operation, the jackass truly did a good job… And Kylo Ren sought to take advantage of that fully…  
So far, every planet that was controlled by the First Order had been notified of the specifics of the ship and people they were looking for.  
Hux wanted to kill them – preferably in a very public execution – and destroy the ship.  
Kylo Ren had different plans altogether. He wasn't so much interested in killing the passengers, although he could think of one or two he wouldn't mind torturing a little…  
No, he was more intent on bringing a single passenger back and forcing her to accept her destiny…  
The thought of all that might entail, made his attention slip.  
Instead, snippets of a vision rolled through his mind in a very distracting way. In his fantasy, he saw Rey in his chamber, in his bed. Flashes of her sunkissed naked skin, hair unbound caressing his chest and her beautiful face scrunched up in wat seemed to be unbearable pain or extreme ecstasy suddenly burned on the back of his eyelids. He could almost hear her gasps and moans as if she was really there with him.  
"…., with your permission of course, Supreme Leader."  
Hux was addressing him. All eyes in that conference were suddenly directed at him, and he had no idea what they had been discussing while his brain had been short-circuiting.  
Thank the Force that he had taught himself to completely keep his feelings and thoughts hidden from the outside world. He decided to bluff his way through.  
"That is very interesting, General Hux. However, at this point, I will have to take it into further consideration. I expect to have everyone's preferred strategy report sent to me in two standard hours from now. I will study them and decide the best course of action. We will continue this meeting tomorrow at 10.00h standard time." He rose from his position at the head of the table.  
"Supreme Leader, I do not think it wise to postpone this decision any longer." Hux's voice sounded loudly in the odd acoustic. It also sounded downright condescending.  
"The Resistance is getting further and further away with every hour that passes, which means they will be able to stir up sympathy for their cause. If we want to snuff them out, we will have to act quickly and…"  
"General Hux!" Supreme Leader Kylo Ren's voice rang loudly in the air and seemed to bounce off the walls of the conference room.  
"I am very much aware of the current situation. Allow me to remind you that you are not in any position to question my authority." He said coldly.  
Hux was then Force pushed back into his chair and was unable to move. His eyes conveyed contempt, but his voice sounded like liquid silk as he replied.  
"Of course not, Supreme Leader. I did not mean to imply such a thing."  
The others quickly left the conference room, all but pushing each other out the door to get away from their disgruntled Supreme Leader.  
When the door closed behind the last one, Kylo Ren released his Force hold on Hux.  
The man didn't even bother to hide his loathing.  
Ren looked at him with a sick little smile.  
"Awww Armitage…" he started in an almost conversational voice. He walked up to Hux's chair and settled his hip on the table in a seemingly casual stance.  
His eyes were steel however.  
"You clearly still have a lot of adjusting to do. And that's really unfortunate. Because you see…." And as he leaned in closer, he dropped all pretense. "Although I respect your knowledge and insight of battle strategy, I will not stand for your arrogance as Snoke did."  
His eyes bored into Hux's with a vengeful gleam.  
"And if you ever so much as dare think of undermining me as you just did, it will be the last thing you ever attempt."  
To get his point across, he Force choked Hux ever so slightly. Just enough pressure to feel it, but to still keep him fully functioning. The muscle next to his mouth and nose contracted, contorting his face into a very vicious snarl.  
"Did I make myself clear, General Hux?" he asked icily.  
Anger and hatred was evident in the redhead's eyes, but the man simply nodded and said: "Yes, Supreme Leader."  
Ren released him quickly and continued calmly.  
"You have permission to leave this conference room. Make sure to present _your_ report within the hour."  
"Yes, Supreme Leader." Hux replied.  
Quickly retreating footsteps were followed by an eerie silence.  
The Supreme Leader turned to the large window overlooking part of the Landing docks.  
He was alone at last. Free to his own thoughts.  
Without warning, the sound of Rey's gasps and moans sounded through his brain again. The same images of the visions he'd had earlier flashed before his eyes and rendered him as if struck by lightning.  
His body responded instantly and he felt as if his knees would buckle any second.  
He didn't care one iota about the Resistance Fleet. Whether they survived or not, whether they were captured or destroyed, it didn't matter.  
 _But Rey…  
_ She mattered. He would have her back, no matter what. He would have her by his side, if it was the last thing he did. She would learn to accept that her place with him.  
But these visions… They were enough to drive him to the brink of insanity.  
He had never known this kind of desire. This kind of lust. And he knew it was more than simple lust. This was more than just the need for physical release.  
Rey moved him in a profound way. She propelled him, made him want things he never knew he lacked.  
 _Rey…  
_ Just like that he felt it. That ripple in the Force.  
He turned and there she was, staring at him. She was just as surprised as he was.  
"This needs to stop." She simply said.  
"What?"  
"This." She gestured, indicating her being there.  
"There must be a way to stop these random meetings. It's very annoying."  
It stung his pride.  
"And if we could control it? Would you still reach out?" he asked softly. Considering how his day had gone, it sounded out of character. Today, he had been Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order.  
But with her…  
 _With her, I'm always Ben Solo._  
She seemed startled by his question.  
"I don't know." She said softly. She frowned slightly and bit her bottom lip in thought.  
The tiny move made his imagination go into overdrive again. Another flash bubbled up, her biting her lip as she arched her back so he could touch her breasts. The image was so vivid, his mouth went dry.  
She looked up at him in surprise as if she had somehow tapped into the vision herself.  
She shook her head to rid herself of the image, but somehow it lingered.  
"I don't want to keep doing this." She said brusquely.  
"Then leave." He said.  
His heart squeezed a little, telling him he was just too damned invested in this woman already.  
 _When did I start thinking of her as a woman instead of the girl?_  
His calm response hit her hard. She hadn't expected that his words would somehow hurt her. She frowned at her own torn feelings.  
He turned back to look at the landing docks, not quite able to face her with his desire so close to the surface.  
She felt his dismissal and rebelled against it.  
Why would they share a Force Bond if they weren't supposed to use it?  
"Are you happy now?" she clipped. And much to her own dismay, she realized she needed the answer.  
"What?" he said and turned to look at her over her shoulder.  
"I asked you if you were happy now?" she repeated as she took several steps closer.  
He watched her approach like a predator.  
"Is this what you wanted? To be in charge? To have all this power and do absolutely no good with it?" Her voice sounded accusingly.  
He was reminded of how he had begged her to stay with him and rule at his side.  
Bitterness rung in his voice as he snarled.  
"I would have preferred you to stay." He searched her face and she felt his anger and his disappointment and his pain course through their bond. It was also reflected in his eyes.  
"But the importance of our connection apparently does not hold sufficient meaning for you. You prefer your so called friends over it."  
He was lashing out. He was angry. She felt his need to pick up his lightsaber and destroy something, and yet he held back.  
"You know as well as I do that I could not stay." She whispered. Much to her disgust, tears pooled in her eyes.  
"No matter how much I wanted to." The confession was not given easily. Each word felt as if it were wrenched from her. But it was the truth. Her gaze met his and she saw such disappointment there. Her rejection had hurt him deeply, as much as pushing him away had hurt her.  
The tears she had tried to hold at bay, spilled over, running down her cheeks. One of them caught on her lip. His eyes had followed its descent and was fascinated by its halt on that plump lip.  
His gloved hand reached up and this leather-clad thumb slowly wiped it off.  
He could feel her breath catch, could hear her soft gasp. When he looked into her eyes, he saw the same fire he felt in his own soul.  
"I would have tried. For you." He said softly. "Rey…"  
He leaned forward to capture her lips when suddenly they were both startled by the sound of someone approaching.  
"Rey! There you are!"  
Ben looked up and saw Poe Dameron walk up to them. Obviously, the pilot could not see him.  
He felt Rey's panic and faster than a heartbeat, their bond was broken.  
He was standing by the window.  
Alone again.  
And lonelier than he had ever been. 


	6. Chapter 5

Rey was startled so bad she was shaking by the time Poe reached her.  
The contact with Ben had been broken the moment Poe had called out to her.  
As had the magic.  
 _He was about to kiss me…_ she thought quietly. The realization dawned on her slowly.  
"Hey, you okay?" Poe asked. His obvious concern made her smile despite her current hayward thoughts.  
"Yes, I'm fine. Were you looking for me?" She said, and her smile widened as she caught a glimpse of the mischief in his eyes.  
"Are you sure?" Poe asked with a smile. "Because you kinda looked like you've seen a ghost…"  
His voice trailed off and he looked at her oddly.  
 _You have no idea…_  
"No I'm fine. Just lost in thought." She responded in an off-hand manner.  
Poe grinned and indicated his head as if to say: whatever you say…  
Rey suddenly felt the hairs on the back of her neck raise again. The tremble in her stomach and the shift in energy around her told her all she needed to know.  
Ben was there.  
"Allright. So…" another cocky grin was sent her way.  
"I was wondering if you would like to join me for dinner sometime after we get settled at the new base. I've been dying to get to know you better."  
Rey's eyebrows lifted in surprise.  
"Really?"  
"Yeah, absolutely! I've heard so many good things about you. Han mentioned what a good pilot you were, how much you know about aerodynamics and aerial engineering. That's always something to grab my attention. And then Finn kept talking about you non-stop…"  
Another sly little smile graced Poe's full lips.  
"As far as I can tell, it didn't even do you justice…"  
She couldn't help the tiny burst of laughter that escaped her.  
Suddenly, she felt pure rage radiate towards her. She looked to her right and saw Ben standing several feet away. The look on his face could only be described as murderous.  
 _Rey!_  
She heard his voice ring in her head as he shouted her name. She ignored it. There was no point in coddling Ben when he got in this mood. She knew that for a fact…  
She lowered her chin a little and smiled.  
She looked at Poe with laughter in her eyes and said: "Of course. I've heard so much about you too. From Finn and BB-8. And Leia. She adores you, y'know."  
She felt Ben's rage multiply in that instant, feeling it tremble and sputter around them and she realized that things could get dangerous. She decided to cut it short.  
"I'd love to have dinner with you. We'll talk about it more when we're settled at the base. Now, if you don't mind, I was on my way to my room."  
"Sure, of course!" he uttered quickly. He smiled at her and his gaze held hers just a tad too long.  
"Allright, so I'm gonna go now. But I'll see you later." He said as he touched her upper arm briefly.  
"Bye." She said as he turned and left. She was left standing in the middle of the hallway and smiled as she scrunched her face comically.  
That was, until she caught sight of Ben's royally pissed off form leaning against the wall, staring a hole in her.  
 _Not here._ She said through their Bond. she didn't want people to think she was losing her mind if she was talking to empty space.  
The muscle next to his mouth ticked, transforming his features in a snarl.  
 _Where then?_ He growled in response. _  
Follow me.  
I hope you realize what you're doing, Scavenger. _He sneered into their Bond.  
 _All he's interested in is how you'll handle his toggle when he lets you fly his little ship._  
Ben knew he was acting irrational, but dammit!  
Dameron had no right to smile at his Rey the way he did!  
 _Handle his toggle? Oh Please!_ She reprimanded crisply.  
 _I think you have this all wrong. He's just a friend!  
Yeah, like FN 2187 is "just a friend" right? _  
She could sense the frustration radiating off him in waves.  
 _Yes. Exactly like Finn._ She stressed his name. Ben should better get used to it.  
 _Tell me you're not actually considering taking him up on his offer?  
Why wouldn't I be? He's handsome, funny and very pleasant to be around. And he promised me food. I would be crazy not to take him up on his offer.  
_He stopped midstride and stared at her, his black eyes boring a hole into her.  
 _You're kidding, right?  
I never joke about food, Ben. _ She said with a small smile.  
Suddenly it dawned on her. He was jealous. Ben, aka the mighty Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader of the First Order, was jealous. She was amused and even slightly honored, but was careful to keep that thought hidden from him.  
She led him down the hallway, back to her room. As she entered, he hesitated.  
 _What's wrong?_ She asked him through the Bond. Too many people milling around who would think  
Ben frowned at her. _  
I didn't realize you were in my old room._ He entered it and really looked around for the first time, actually noticing his environment for the first time. She closed the door behind him.  
To his surprise, there were still remnants of the times when he flew with Han and Leia and Chewie. From before he joined Luke's academy. Up on a shelf, he recognized his old collection of holo's and magazines. But the thing that caught his eye the most was the miniature falcon Han had built him for his fifth birthday. It had also been the day Han had let him fly the Falcon for the first time. He frowned as the memory crashed into him. He felt as if his heart was ripped out of his chest. He hadn't realized it would still be able to hurt him like this. They hadn't even asked him what he wanted when they shipped him off to Luke's academy. They had been so wrapped up in their own world, they had ignored him and his wants and needs. It still hurt. It really kriffing hurt. He was torn between breaking down and cry and taking his lightsaber and thrashing the entire place.  
Rey sensed his pain. The Bond between them amplified it and she felt it as if it were her own. Her heart ached as she could feel his hurt, both old and new, mingle into a great big ball of regret and anguish.  
"Ben…" she whispered and walked up to him. She touched his arm and he looked up at her.  
There was so much pain in his eyes. So much hurt.  
"It's allright."  
He just stared at her blankly.  
"Ben, Han knew what he was doing. He knew the risks. He loved you. And he knew you loved him. And you were worth the risk."  
She touched his hand briefly, laid her palm on his forearm. She took another step towards him.  
She looked up into his eyes intently, almost drowning in those black pools of turmoil. Like quicksand, they drew her in and never let her go.  
"You still are." She whispered.  
His jaw clenched.  
He was being torn apart.  
He didn't want these kriffing memories!  
He didn't want to be reminded of Han. Or Leia. Or anything. He didn't want to see this look she was giving him now. To hear her words. They filled his black heart with light. He saw nothing but compassion and hope and understanding in Rey's eyes. It was that look that made him want to try again. But he knew it was pointless. He knew he was nothing but a big disappointment to everyone. He'd disappointed his parents. He'd disappointed Luke. He'd disappointed Snoke. He'd disappointed Rey. He just kept at it without knowing how to fix it. It seemed to come natural to him. It would just be a matter of time and she'd look at him like he was a monster again. It was a devastating prospect.  
So he did what he did best. He channeled his emotions and lashed out.  
"You do realize what he wants, right?" he snarled.  
She frowned at his sudden change of mood.  
"All he wants, Rey, is to rip off your clothes and fuck you." He whispered.  
She was shocked and took a step back, hitting her back against the wall. She wanted to step aside but Ben wouldn't have it. He took a step forward, closing the small distance between them again, effectively trapping her in place with his nearness. She had nowhere to go.  
"He just wants bragging rights about fucking the last Jedi piece of ass. All he cares about is putting another mark on his X-wing."  
His eyes burned with anger and something she hadn't seen there before. _Fear…_  
"That's not true." She said calmly, fighting to hang on to her composure. "Poe is not like that." She spat at him.  
The muscles around his mouth and beneath his left eye jerked, giving away his true feelings.  
Rey could feel his every emotion course through her as if it were her own. Intense, like a whirlwind, picking her up and throwing her down without any particular sequence to it, without a steady rhythm. He was so angry!  
 _Was this what was going inside him all the time?_ She thought.  
He stepped even closer. Her head was tipped back just so she could look into his face. Hardly two inches separated them. She could feel the heat of his body seep into her, the cold from the wall a sharp contrast, and a strange and unsettling excitement coursed through her. It was almost like the adrenaline she felt when they battled or sparred. It was heady and addictive.  
"Oh but he is." He said softly. If it weren't for the feral look on his face, she would have thought he was crooning.  
"You tend to forget I've probed his mind. I know his thoughts and his motivations. I know exactly what he wants."  
Ben's eyes dropped to her lips and just like that something shifted. She felt his longing through their Bond. It was more than lust. More than simple desire. And she felt something deep inside her echo it.  
A slight tremor rippled through her. Her lips parted on their own volition.  
His eyes met hers again. There was still anger in his gaze.  
"He'll just fuck you and walk away, Rey. That's the kind of man he is." Again, that twitch near his mouth and nose. She was coming to learn that it was something that only happened when he felt really strongly about the subject. Something that mattered.  
His dark eyes burned into her and his next words simply blew her away.  
"You deserve more than that, Rey. So much more. You've been abandoned and hurt enough."  
 _If he hurts you, I'll kill him. I will make him experience pain like he's never know and I will relish in it. And they'll find pieces of him all over the Galaxy._  
The intensity in his gaze took her breath away.  
She didn't know how to handle this. She decided to deflect.  
"Careful, Ben." She whispered. "Or I might start thinking that you're jealous…" she teased.  
He actually smiled at those words. To her surprise, he even chuckled. She'd never heard that sound coming from him before and she was taken aback by the sheer beauty of it.  
"Oh, Rey…" he said on a long exhale. He put his hands on the wall next to her head and leaned forward until his mouth was right next to her ear. His hot breath on that sensitive flesh sent ripples of pure pleasure down her nerve endings and she trembled in response. She closed her eyes and sighed. His words only made it worse.  
"I'm not jealous , I'm territorial..." He whispered. "Jealousy," he continued slowly, "is wanting something that belongs to someone else. I'm merely protecting what is mine."  
Her eyes whipped open and she turned to look at him. His gaze caught hers and the trembling grew worse. He was so close…  
His left hand left the wall and came up to cup her jaw. His thumb lightly caressed her cheek.  
 _You're mine, Rey. We both know it. Ever since we met…  
_ His dark eyes searched hers intently.  
 _You are mine. And I am yours._  
Her breath caught at his intensity.  
 _Only yours…_ he whispered in the Bond as he leaned forward.  
When his lips met hers, her eyes drifted shut. And the Galaxy exploded between them. 


	7. Chapter 6

The air around them seemed to crackle and swirl.  
Ben let out a sound that was something between a growl and a moan. As if he had been dying of thirst and finally got his first taste of fresh, clean water…  
Rey simply stood there, unable to do anything but tremble and sigh.  
 _My first kiss…_ she thought.  
it must have conveyed itself through their bond, because she felt his body shudder and the possessiveness in his kiss intensified. He deepened the kiss, gently parting her lips and touching his tongue to hers. This time, it was Rey who moaned.  
He started out hesitantly, but soon instinct took over. His kiss became insistent and intense and very, very passionate…  
Her arms slipped around his waist, her palms spreading on his wide back. She pulled him closer and their bodies connected.  
The energy surrounding them swelled and became almost tangible. It hummed.  
Ben's right hand found the small of her back and the warmth of his skin seemed to burn through her clothes and brand her. His left hand had slid down her neck, cupping it, his fingers absently toying with her hair.  
The kiss both seemed to go on forever and be over in seconds. Time stood still and flew by at the same time. Suddenly he broke the kiss, and Rey made a sound in protest. It quickly morphed into a gasp and a low moan as his lips trailed down her neck.  
Images suddenly flashed behind his closed lids.  
Rey and him, together in a very luxurious looking room that seemed vaguely familiar.  
They were both naked, their clothing scattered across the floor. They were tangled in sheets. Sweat glistened their bodies, appearing silver in the moonlight that streamed in from the large windows. Moans and gasps and sweet nothings floated on the midnight air, while the scent of flowers and summer meadows filled the air.  
In that instant, he realized he was having a vision. It would happen. He knew it. He felt it.  
But by having the vision, he was also instantly reminded that he wasn't really there with her. They were in their Bond.  
 _Kriff, it it's this intense through our bond, what will it be like when I kiss her in person?_ He thought to himself, carefully keeping that thought away from her.  
He pulled back and looked into her eyes and almost drowned in what he saw reflected in her gaze.  
 _Affection. Real affection._  
Something he hadn't seen in quite a while.  
"Rey…" He whispered and captured her lips again. This time however, the kiss was infinitely gentle.  
He felt her tremble against him, felt her emotions through their bond. They were so deep, he didn't dare examine them.  
It was enough to break the kiss abruptly.  
They were both breathing hard.  
Rey looked up at him in confusion.  
"Ben?" she said softly. "Is everything all right?"  
He stared into her eyes, and she was honestly worried.  
He smiled in spite of himself. A real smile too, one that reached his eyes and displayed deep lines next to those luscious lips.  
He leaned his forehead against hers, closed his eyes and replied softly: "I'm fine, sweetheart. Don't worry."  
He felt her frown relax.  
"I was just thinking that we need to slow this down." He murmured as he nuzzled her hair.  
A delicious smile spread across her face as his fingers massaged her scalp while his other hand rested just above her butt, making her wish he would just lower it a few inches.  
"Why?" she breathed.  
"Why what?" he whispered softly as he nipped at her ear.  
She gasped and her nails dug into his back as the sensation caused her to shiver and make her skin tingle.  
"Why do we need to slow down?" she managed to choke out the words.  
He leaned back and looked her in the eyes. He saw his own desire mirrored there and for a moment he wondered if he was losing his mind. If he was crazy for not going with the flow of their emotions.  
But he knew this was important. So he strengthened his resolve and sighed.  
"Because, sweetheart, I'm not really here…" He said and took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. "We're sharing a Forcemoment. And no matter how much I want this to continue, I intend to make you my own in person. When we make love, and I have no doubt that we will, we will be able to actually touch. Not like this."  
His gaze was scorching in its intensity and it took her breath away.  
She let out a tiny squeak as he suddenly grabbed her waist and lifted her. Instinctively, she wrapped her legs around his hips and her arms came around his neck. He pinned her against the wall effectively and effortlessly. He crushed her to him in his embrace.  
"This," he whispered, "will never be enough."  
And then he took her lips again in a fevered kiss.

The lights on the Falcon flickered. Again.  
And Leia felt it. Felt _him._ She was no Jedi, but she was Force sensitive. And she could sense her son. _  
Ben…  
_ He was here.  
 _Rey!_ He was with Rey. And whatever the two of them were up to, it had to be powerful and intense to have this effect on their power supply…  
Panic coursed through her. What if Rey gave away intel? Her son had always been a beautiful boy, and he had become a gorgeous man. His father's good looks and her coloring. He was an impressive sight to behold, and it made Leia both proud and apprehensive.  
It wouldn't be the first time a man used his looks to get what he wanted from a woman.  
And Rey was such an innocent girl…  
"I'll be right back." She said to the navigator and battle tactic specialist she was talking to.  
Without waiting for a reply, Leia turned on her heel and headed for Rey's room.  
When she reached it, she looked to her left and right, and when she was sure no one was coming, she simply pushed open the door, without bothering to knock first.  
The sight before her was pretty much the one she had been expecting to see…  
She saw her son holding Rey, her legs wrapped around his waist and they were kissing as if they were sucking the oxygen out of each other. The way they were invested in each other, the way they were kissing and touching, told Leia that this was more than an attempt at manipulation.  
This was very, very real…  
She very loudly cleared her throat.  
They broke the kiss abruptly and they stared at her with absolute horror and shock on their faces.  
"Leia…" Rey started.  
"Mom…" Ben breathed. His eyes met hers and she saw something in his gaze that touched her soul.  
Leia's breath caught in her throat and her heart lurched.  
She saw her son reflected in those black eyes.  
Not this monster that had taken over her precious boy, but her very own son. She could see the light in him as clearly as she could the grey that peppered her hair when she looked in a mirror.  
And it was because of Rey…  
Hope rose inside her chest like a wave crashed into the shore. He was still there. He could be saved. There was still Light in him, even now!  
She realized, however, that this was not the right time to voice or act on that thought yet.  
"Sorry to interrupt you lovebirds," she started with an almost bored edge to her voice, "but I would appreciate it if you could tone it down a bit. You two are causing a power disturbance. I'd rather not crash to an untimely death because you two were too engrossed in each other to notice that your raging hormones are influencing the Falcon's electronics."  
Rey was looking at her with her mortification very visible.  
Ben was… Well, Ben was looking at her blankly.  
She could sense his confusion, even if he didn't show it. Happiness filled her heart and in that moment, she was not acting as the Leader of the Resistance. In that moment, she was just his mother.  
She sighed dramatically and continued sternly: "I don't mind you meeting up from time to time, but just keep it down, will you? As long as we're airborne at least?"  
Both Rey and Ben suddenly looked surprised. Extremely surprised. They shared a quick look and then stared at her again.  
Ben even looked at her with suspicion.  
She was probably ruining any progress they had made in this brief exchange, and fear of pushing him away niggled at her, but she couldn't help it. Unfortunately, every now and then, she was troubled by the famous Skywalker impulsive streak. It was a trait she wasn't proud of, and she subdued it whenever she could. But she couldn't deny that she was Anakin's daughter at times. The words just slipped out on their own volition.  
"Don't look at me like that, Ben. Your father used to look at me like that, and it always drove me mad." She cocked her head to the side and looked him up and down.  
"I mean it. Meet up if you want, just don't…" her voice trailed off and she felt Ben's eyes bore into her.  
She met his gaze straight-on with a hard glint in her eyes.  
"Just don't try to get any intel from her or use her to get back at me."  
And then she smiled at both of them. A mischievous, devilish grin.  
"And whatever you do…" she said softly, "Don't get caught by the others…"


	8. Chapter 7

Leia turned and closed the door with a soft bang.  
She turned and couldn't help but allow the smile creep across her face.  
Ben was still alive.  
He hadn't been fully consumed by Kylo Ren, as she had feared.  
He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order now. He was her mortal enemy. He should be fully submerged in the Dark Side because of this.  
And yet…  
There was more Light in him now than she had ever sensed in him. Even when he was a small child, the Dark had always lurked in the shadows, ready to pounce and find a way to claw its way into the boy's soul. But just now, with Rey, she had seen nothing but Light.  
And when he had called her mom…  
Happiness coursed through her veins, warming her heart and soul. A single tear slipped down her cheek. Her heart burst with love, as it always had. But there was a difference this time. A huge difference.  
This time, for the first time in a long time, she had real hope.  
 _Hope._  
Hope was alive. Vibrant and pulsing and all-encompassing.  
Perhaps it was a good thing that he was the Ruler of the First Order now.  
Perhaps, if the Light was strong enough, if Rey could bring it out enough, Ben would be able to transform the First Order. He might be able to end the tyranny and use his position and power to create balance and peace in the galaxy.  
But she was letting her excitement run ahead of things.  
She had to figure out a way to deal with this.  
She had meant what she said. If their meetings would help Ben turn back to the Light, she was all for it. Would even enable it as far as she could. But they needed to be careful.  
She would have to talk to Rey about this.  
But for now… she would bask in the hope that seeing her son and Rey had called to life in her heart… 

Ben and Rey were left shaken after Leia left.  
Rey unwrapped her legs from his waist and dropped her hands to her side. She slowly slid down his body, and felt a ripple of desire.  
Ben simply stayed where he was, not giving her an inch. His hands let go of her waist, and she missed the simple touch instantly.  
She couldn't step back, and he wouldn't budge, so they stood there for a few moments. Both of them lost in their thoughts.  
His mother was alive!  
He had thought she had been killed when that TIE-fighter blew up the bridge of the Resistance Fleet.  
He'd shot that TIE-fighter out of the sky in a moment of sheer instinct. In the privacy of his chambers, he had allowed himself a moment to grieve her. And all of a sudden, there she was in front of him.  
The sight had shaken him so much, he'd simply reacted. Relief had coursed through him at the sight of her. A kneejerk reaction had prompted him to call her "mom". Something he hadn't done since he was a little boy.  
And what had surprised him even more, was the fact that she had seen him. No one else did. Why did she? Of course, his mother was essentially a Skywalker. They were all strong with the Force. So, it wouldn't be much of a stretch to think she was able to see him through that same Force.  
And why in the Galaxy would she tell them it was alright if he and Rey met up from time to time?  
He was the Supreme Leader of the First Order now. The main enemy of the Resistance.  
Her arch nemesis by definition. She was probably up in the lounge, discussing with her commanders how to take him and the Order out on a daily basis, and yet here she was, smiling at him and telling the two of them it was okay for them to see each other, as long as they kept it quiet! Hidden from the rest.  
His mind was whirling so fast his head was starting to throb…  
 _Something isn't right. It had to be a trick!_ Rey and his mother must be in cohorts. He frowned and felt his gut churn.  
 _Were they deceiving him? Were Rey and his mother conspiring to take him out? Was Rey using their connection to gain the upper hand?  
_ His breathing became labored, he strained to keep his calm. Rage started to bubble up and he had trouble containing it.  
Rey felt his mood change.  
"Ben?" she asked quietly. "Are you alright?"  
Pain, anger, deception, betrayal… she felt them all pass through her.  
She frowned at this turn of events. "Ben, talk to me?" She pleaded as she felt an unfamiliar panic.  
His eyes met hers and if she hadn't been standing with her back to the wall, she would have taken several steps away from him. All of his fury was directed… At her!  
"Ben?" she breathed.  
"What are you up to, Scavenger?" he asked softly, but with a distinct undertone of ice.  
"What…" she started shaking her head. "What are you talking about?"  
He searched her eyes and saw nothing but confusion there.  
"How does Leia know I've been seeing you?" he growled low.  
He watched closely and saw her eyes widen.  
To her credit, she didn't try to change the subject.  
"I told her."  
He narrowed his eyes.  
"You… Told her?"  
"Yes."  
"About us?"  
She swallowed. "Yes."  
She watched as the muscles around his mouth and below his left twitched. A telltale sign of his anger, for sure. His beautiful, luscious mouth flattened into a grim line. She was fascinated by it. She knew what his lips felt like on hers now. She knew the taste of that gorgeous mouth. And she felt an overwhelming urge to kiss him again. To deflect his anger. The thought of channeling all that rage into passion gave her a strange thrill.  
"Did you tell her everything?" _About us, about what happened to Snoke._ He said through their Bond.  
His voice was cold, flat. She had never heard him speak like that to her before.  
Instantly her attention was taken away from her physically inclined thoughts and propelled back into this current conversation. It made her frown.  
"No! Of course not." _Some things only belong with you and I.  
_ He searched her face intently, and she could only guess what he was looking for. But it was intense and unsettling and uncomfortable, but she let him take all the time he needed.  
When she saw the muscles in his jaw clench and something change in his eyes, only then did she allow herself to relax. She reached up and put her palm on his cheek.  
It was her time to stare into his eyes.  
"We've been off to a rocky start, you and I." she said quietly.  
"I haven't always been fair to you. Although I did have my reasons for it, I've let you down. More than once."  
Her thumb traced the scar on his cheek and again he felt his body respond almost violently.  
Her eyes traced her finger as she did. The smallest of smiles played around the corners of her mouth.  
 _Mine_ … The thought flashed in their bond so fleetingly, it was almost as if he'd imagined it.  
But she met his gaze then and he could tell she'd actually thought it.  
"Ben…" she breathed huskily, "I will never take advantage of this connection. I will never use it to get information out of you. I will never _ever_ use it as a weapon." _Ever._  
Her gaze bore into his and his doubt was relieved somewhat.  
But it lingered.  
"I hope so." He said sharply as he removed her hand from his cheek.  
And just like that, their Bond closed.  
Rey frowned at this abrupt ending and felt as if a part of her heart had been ripped out with his departure.  
Absently she touched her lips.  
A smile grew steadily.  
 _He kissed me._ She thought to herself. _I can't wait till he does it again._  
She started straightening a few items that they had knocked down in the spur of the moment, all the while reliving the sensations over and over again…


	9. Chapter 8

In the privacy of his quarters, he could let his guard down.  
Here, he could think. Or at the very least, he could try.  
A week.  
It had been a week since he had seen Rey.  
He'd been blocking their bond. He didn't know how he had figured out how to do it.  
He could sense her reaching out, and he didn't know how to handle things just yet.  
The whole situation of their argument over Flyboy, their heated kiss and his mother walking in on them had left him feeling confused and angry and raw.  
Even after a week, he still didn't have a grip on his feelings. So he just… pushed her out.  
The fact that he could sense Rey's worry build as he continued to ignore her didn't help either.  
In the meantime, things weren't getting any easier at the First Order Base either.  
Hux was breathing down his neck because he still hadn't taken a solid stand in their fight against the Resistance. His men were grumbling, frustrated at his lack of leadership, ready for action.  
But Ben was plagued by memories he would just as soon forget. Memories of Han and Leia, of killing Han, of killing Snoke, of seeing Rey smile at the Traitor and Flyboy, them putting their hands on her, touching her…  
He growled and let his fist slam down on the side of his matrass as he lay on his bed.  
The memory of Dameron touching Rey's arm instantly had him remembering their heated discussion and their very passionate kiss after that. Even after a week of trying to let it go, he still couldn't.  
He couldn't forget the taste of her lips, the feel of her body pressed against his. The sounds of her moans and gasps and the way she said his name kept echoing in his mind, driving him insane.  
He found himself in a perpetual state of arousal, to the point of actual physical pain.  
Had never been in a situation like this before.  
He was ashamed to admit how much he needed her. Wanted her…  
He felt his cock twitch again just thinking about how her legs had felt around his waist.  
He let out a frustrated roar, slammed the side of the bed again and covered his eyes with his forearm. There had to be a way to vent. He'd been taking cold showers at the oddest hours, but even that didn't help anymore.  
In his desperation, he reverted to something he hadn't done or even remotely felt the need to since early adolescence. He put his hand around the base of his cock and started moving.  
 _Kriff!_  
He groaned at the sensation, and instantly Rey came to mind. The memory of having her in his arms, her eagerness and her passion combined with snippets of the visions he'd had and proved to be a very potent and volatile mix. As the intensity of his fantasy increased, so did his pace. He pumped his hand faster, increased the pressure. He pretended it was her hand touching him like this. He pretended it was her perfect body he was pumping into. He imagined how tight she would be when he finally entered her and made her his. How she would fit him perfectly.  
He could almost hear her cries, could almost feel her body wrapped around his, tensing at this erratic pleasure as much as his own. His breathing labored and he was so close… He remembered the sight of Rey biting her lip and he came undone, just like that.  
When he finally came, the force of his release had him roaring like a rathtar.  
He quickly wiped the cum off his chest with one of the sheets and threw it across the room.  
In the aftermath of his release, he lay back on the bed, once again with his arm covering his eyes.  
There was still a remnant of his original frustration lingering in his chest, and he was disgusted and embarrassed at his own weakness, of his need for this scavenger of his, but at least the edge was off. For now…  
 _Oh Rey…_ he thought drowsily as he released a deep sigh.  
 _What are you doing to me?_

Rey was getting frantic.  
She hadn't heard from Ben in a week. A week!  
She knew he had been angry with her, she had felt it through their bond as clearly as if it had been her own. She didn't completely understand where it was coming from, but it was very real.  
And ever since then, he had been blocking her.  
She'd been trying to get in touch with him, to try and reach out through their Force Bond, but to no avail. She kept hitting a wall and couldn't get through, no matter how hard she pushed.  
This week had been a hard one.  
And she needed him.  
She hadn't realized how much she had come to rely on him and their visits. On him. She hadn't realized how much comfort he gave her. Until he had left her.  
Later that day, after she and Ben had kissed and had been caught, Leia had sat her down and lectured her.  
 _Who am I kidding? She chewed me up and spat me out!_  
Leia had gone on and on about how dangerous it was, this game she and Ben were playing.  
What if they got caught? What if this was a trick? What if someone found out and told either one of their sides? All hell would break loose, and Leia wouldn't be able to protect her. They would see her as a traitor and she would have to be tried as one. And Ben had two possible outcomes himself.  
Either no one would dare oppose him because he was the Supreme Leader, or they would have a coup and take him down.  
Rey had felt like a small child when Leia was through, chastised thoroughly.  
But then Leia had surprised her by saying she meant what she had said. She supported them if this was what they really wanted. She would help them any way she could. Leia even offered to cover for her if the need should arise.  
And Rey needed Ben to talk to about it.  
But he was out of reach.  
What if he was hurt? What if someone had found out about their Bond? What if there had indeed been a coup and he was killed? No! That was impossible! She would have sensed it.  
But she didn't understand why he was pushing her away.  
They had decided on Dantooine as the location for their new Resistance Base.  
Out of the two options they had, Rey figured they had chosen the best one. But she still didn't think it a good idea. And now she had to be extra careful not to let him know where they were.  
They had found an abandoned base near the ruined Jedi Temple, dating back to the old Empire Days.  
They had set up camp and were getting settled. Poe and Finn had both been promoted to Commander and were constantly having meetings and running around the new base.  
Rose had woken up at last, and Rey had spent some time with her.  
It was easy to see why Finn was so invested in her. And she was head over heels in love with Finn.  
That too, caused her to fret over Ben. She didn't want to analyze her own feelings for him too closely at this point, knowing she wouldn't like the answer. Knowing it would only cause suffering.  
She stood at a window in her room, staring out at the sunrise. It was breathtaking.  
Was he looking out at a similar scene? Or was he staring out in blank space?  
Was he alone? What was he doing?  
She closed her eyes briefly, feeling panic and anxiety taking over.  
If only she could see him. If only she could just hear his voice.  
Anything was better than this dreadful radio silence in their Bond.  
 _Oh Ben… please talk to me…_  
There was a strange shift in the energy around her. She had only felt this once before.  
Suddenly she heard him, his voice faint, like a whisper.  
 _Rey…_  
Her eyes flew open and turning around, she found herself standing in what seemed to be his bedroom.  
Ben was lying on his bed with his arm thrown over his face, breathing hard and barely covered by a thin blanket.  
His clothes were meticulously hung on a peg by the wall, his boots neatly placed beneath it. But a sheet was haphazardly thrown down in the middle of the room.  
He looked as if he were in pain.  
And he looked good enough to eat…  
She was taken aback by the emotions that crashed into her. A lump formed in the back of her throat and she felt her eyes sting.  
She had really missed him...  
He let out a great sigh, and his chest rose impressively as he did so.  
Rey's eyes were drawn to that vast expanse of skin and her mouth went dry. She was even more flustered than the first time, because unlike then, he obviously had no idea she was looking on now.  
She swallowed and tentatively spoke up.  
"Ben?"  
Her voice was barely above a whisper, but it sounded loudly in the silence of his room.  
He froze for a split second, and then jumped up abruptly.  
"Rey?" he frowned as his eyes focused on her, standing by his window.  
He shook his head and rubbed his eyes as if to make sure he wasn't dreaming.  
When she was still there, he frowned and stared at her accusingly.  
"What are you doing here?" he snapped.  
Her eyebrows lifted in surprise at his conduct.  
"I don't know." She answered.  
She watched as he balled his fists and glared at her.  
"Well, in that case, I suggest you take your leave again."  
Her jaw dropped. A strangled sound escaped her before she could stop it, and her temper rose just as quickly.  
"Why are you doing this?" she said as she took a few steps in his direction.  
"Ben, why are you pushing me away?"  
He felt a brief flash of panic as he watched her approach. She had the upper hand. He felt extremely vulnerable at this moment. Both his body and his soul were bare before her, and he had no inkling as to how to protect himself from her. She knew how to penetrate his defenses and wiggle her way through his armor when he was fully clothed and ready to battle….  
She could destroy him now. With ease…  
He had to find a way to regain control.  
He took the blanket and wrapped it around his waist as he stood to face her.  
He noticed how her eyes all but caressed every inch of his chest, felt her apprehension and anticipation through their bond. He watched as she tried to avert her eyes and look at anything except him. Witnessed a telltale blush creep up her neck and the pulse at the base of her throat pick up pace.  
His eyebrow lifted as he came to terms with the implications. She was just as attracted to him as he was drawn to her.  
"Could you please put some clothes on? It's difficult to have a serious conversation like this."  
 _Or to form coherent thoughts…_ She mused. Somehow, the words spilled into their bond.  
The barest of smiles showed at her words.  
 _He s enjoying this, the cad!_  
"I don't feel like having serious conversations right now." He stated dryly.  
She looked up into his eyes then, and he swore he felt a bolt go through him.  
Goosebumps broke out on his arms and back, just by that look.  
 _Very well…  
_ "Ben, why are you pushing me away?" she searched his gaze, desperate to understand.  
"What did I do that was so wrong that you chose to close off our connection like that?"  
She heard his sharp intake of breath as she stepped closer.  
Barely three feet separated them at this point.  
He clenched his jaw.  
The desire to reach out and touch her, to pull her to him was almost more than he could handle.  
He balled his hands into fists at his side to keep from giving in to that desire.  
He tried to find the right words, but that turned out to be a hopeless endeavor.  
So he said the first thing that came to mind.  
"You and Leia are conspiring behind my back."  
The words were like a slap in her face. She literally stepped back.  
"Excuse me?" she said.  
His black gaze bore into hers and he repeated slowly.  
"You and Leia are conspiring behind my back."  
She shook her head in bewilderment.  
"That is crazy. Whatever gave you that idea?"  
"It's pretty obvious to me. You told her about our connection. Somehow, the two of you must have come up with a plan to use it against me."  
Her face scrunched up in disbelief and disgust.  
"I told her, because she knew something was going on. Because I needed someone to confide in."  
She stepped closer without being aware of doing so.  
"I told her, Ben, because I know she loves you."  
She stared into his eyes deeply and tried to reach out through their bond.  
"And I told you that I would never use our link that way." Her eyes pleaded with him.  
She felt his conflict.  
"I have trouble believing that." He hissed. That characteristic little twitch of muscles near his nose and mouth made him seem very imposing. And it almost made her smile.  
Sadness laced her words.  
"Then I'll just have to prove it to you." She whispered.  
Involuntarily, her gaze locked on his lips. She bit her bottom lip, and just like that he felt desire and lust course through his veins hotly.  
He decided to channel it in anger.  
"You can try." He sneered and turned away, hoping she hadn't caught a glimpse of how her proximity affected him. He started pulling his clothes on with jerky movements.  
When he dropped the sheet to tug on his trousers, Rey almost choked. She quickly turned away, but couldn't help herself from taking another peak at his bare behind before the pants were on.  
He continued putting his shirt on, followed by his tunic.  
When he sat down to put on his socks, she walked up to the bed and knelt at his side.  
"Ben, please don't be angry with me."  
She couldn't help the tears that pooled in her eyes.  
He was clenching his teeth. She felt his turmoil. He wanted to trust her. But he had been betrayed so many times before…  
"Then don't give me reason to be." He snarled.  
She lowered her eyes. She realized that, from his point of view, she had been keeping secrets from him. She felt the pain it caused him.  
She nodded and met his gaze again.  
"Promise me you won't cut me off like this again? Not even when you're angry at me?" she asked quietly. "I'd rather have you scream at me than go silent like that."  
He searched her face. And he searched her mind. She let him.  
He nodded curtly.  
"Now, if you don't mind, I have work to do." He said as he straightened.  
She got up off her knees and faced him.  
"Sure."  
She looked up at him and felt very shy all of a sudden.  
"I…" she started and smiled awkwardly. She looked away.  
"I'm glad I got to talk to you."  
Silence stretched between them. And then, a rueful admission.  
"Yeah, me too."  
She looked up at him. The look in her eyes caught him by surprise.  
She reached up on her tiptoes, pressed her lips to his cheek, to his scar.  
"I'll see you later. Have a nice day." She whispered, and then disappeared.  
Ben stood rooted to the spot. 


	10. Chapter 9

The days passed slowly.  
They got used to their new routines.  
Everyone had their own chores, and everyone committed to them with gusto.  
Hope was spreading like wildfire, the spark was back.  
Every day, Leia was contacted with more messages of alliance and possible recruits.  
Every day, their numbers grew. And with it, their spirit came back.  
And every day, Rey got more frustrated.  
She was still very uncomfortable with being this new beacon for the Resistance.  
People were looking up at her as if she would bring the First Order down with nothing but a look and the broken pieces of Luke's old lightsaber.  
She felt absolutely useless. She wasn't a Jedi Master. She wasn't trained in combat techniques. She hadn't been fully taught what the Jedi Rules were. She knew nothing of the history, other than what she had read in the old Jedi Text Books. And even that was pretty tough to comprehend.  
The only thing she had discovered to be any good at was meditating. When she reached out, she could actually feel the Force flow through and around her and she could find that beautiful calm, peaceful feeling that made her feel like she could conquer the world.  
But the more the people of the Galaxy found them, and subsequently her, the more lost she felt.  
She had escaped the humdrum of the base to seek out some much needed solitude.  
She's headed into the luscious forest just south of the base.  
The smell of the damp leaves, the clean air… It was all still such a miracle to her. She didn't think she'd ever get used to the colors here.  
She sat down on a tree stump and tried to breathe in as much oxygen as she could.  
She felt him approach before she heard or saw him.  
"Hey."  
She smiled in response. "Hey."  
"What are you doing out here all by yourself?"  
She looked up as Finn lowered himself down on the other side of the stump.  
"Trying to find some peace and quiet?" Rey replied cheekily.  
Finn's eyebrows shot up at that.  
"Oh well, if that's the case…" his words trailed off as he rose from the stump.  
"Wait, wait, Finn…" she chuckled as she tugged on the seat of his pants.  
"Don't go. I wasn't referring to you." She said with a huge smile.  
Finn looked down at her and laughed.  
"I know." He said and lowered himself again.  
They sat together in silence for a little while, completely content with each other's company.  
After a while, Finn looked at Rey and sighed.  
"Talk to me, Rey." He said quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.  
"You used to be able to talk to me about anything. But lately…" He sighed and let his words trail off again. Rey just stared ahead of her.  
"Lately, I get the feeling you're closing yourself off."  
He straddled the stump and faced her, taking her hands in his.  
"Rey, look at me." He urged her.  
Reluctantly, she lifted her eyes to his.  
When Finn saw the sadness reflected in those hazel depths, he exhaled loudly.  
" _Talk to me,_ Rey" he whispered.  
Rey looked at this man, this sweet, gentle man who had become her best friend and who had been willing to sacrifice his life for hers. This tough ex-stormtrooper, who had been willing to fight for her and chance terrible odds for her. This tireless Resistance fighter/icon who had become her family, her shoulder to cry on and the brother who would always have her back.  
And when she saw the worry in his eyes, she felt herself being torn apart. She wanted to confide in him about Ben so bad! But she knew instinctively that he would not be able to understand. Not yet anyway. And maybe he never would. So she settled for a partial truth.  
"I am feeling overwhelmed, Finn." She whispered back.  
"All these people… they're counting on me." She let her eyes travel back down to study the dirt at her feet.  
"They see me as this beacon of hope. They see me as the next great Jedi Master. The one to take down the First Order." She sighed and closed her eyes.  
To take down the First Order, she would have to take down it's leader, Kylo Ren. And Ben was still inside him somewhere. She would never be able to kill him. _Never!_  
She shook her head and took a deep breath.  
"I am not ready for this. Not by a long shot. I'm afraid I won't be able to live up to their expectations… "  
She looked up and stared him in the eyes. Without another word, feelings were communicated, and Rey knew Finn understood at least that much.  
He heaved a great sigh and softly said: "Oh Rey…"  
He reached for her and pulled her into his embrace.  
He cradled her head against his shoulder and kissed the top of her head.  
She allowed herself this moment of being dependent. She'd never before allowed herself to lean on someone else quite like this before, aside from Leia when she had come back from Starkiller Base. To draw from their strength. It was strange and alien, but also so very familiar and comforting and incredibly nice…  
What instantly struck her, was the difference in her experience.  
She felt nothing of the scorching emotions she had felt when Ben had held her. The only thing this hug had in common was that she felt safe.  
Involuntarily, her mind drifted to Ben. A little shiver went through her at the mere thought of thim.  
He hadn't tried to push her out again, but he hadn't reached out either.  
She had tried not to impose on him too much. But it was hard. Because for some strange reason, her instincts seemed to drive her to him whenever anything happened.  
He was the first person she wanted to see, the first person she wanted to tell. She missed his serious expressions and his erratic temper. She missed the ease with which she could be in his presence and not say anything at all. And she missed his touch. Automatically, those thoughts reminded her of their kiss. She felt something inside her stir and the sound of his groans drifted through her mind as she …  
"Don't worry, Rey." She suddenly heard Finn say.  
"You've always figured out a way to make people look up to you without even trying. They know you won't take out the entire First Order on your own. But at least having you on our side is giving them the strength to keep fighting." He took her upper arms and pushed her away a little. He looked into her eyes and smiled.  
"Consider yourself our lucky charm." Another bright smile and a wink were all that was needed for Rey to launch into full blown laughter.  
She laughed and laughed and even snorted a little. Finn was laughing right along with her.  
When the laughter died down a little, she looked up into that sweet, handsome face.  
"Thank you." She said softly.  
"For what?" he answered.  
"For being here for me. Even when I didn't know I wanted someone to be." She smiled shyly.  
"It's still a little odd to be in this position. Of having people around who… care."  
She ducked her head in embarrassment.  
Finn just chuckled and drew her back into his arms. As he settled her back into his embrace, he kissed the top of her head and sighed.  
"That's what friends do." He rested his chin on top of her head and closed his eyes briefly.  
Rey snuggled closer and smiled.  
"How is Rose doing?"  
She felt Finn's smile grow against her hair.  
"She's doing great! Getting stronger by the day and getting back to her perky self. Won't be long before she's running around this base, bossing me around and stunning people again."  
Rey could hear the obvious affection in his voice.  
She leaned back in his arms and met his gaze with a smile.  
"You like her."  
"Yeah, I do." He answered, slightly confused.  
Rey's smile grew even wider.  
"No, Finn, I mean you _like_ her…" She emphasized her words with the wiggling of her eyebrows.  
Finn barked out a short embarrassed laugh.  
"Well…" he ducked his head. "Yeah, I do. She's… different."  
Rey smiled at him, and felt like she hadn't stopped smiling for what seemed like hours. Her spirits lifted, her heart less heavy.  
"I'm happy for you. And she's a wonderful girl, who clearly adores you. You should ask her out when she's up to it." Rey said matter-of-factly.  
"I fully intend to." Finn said quietly.  
"Anyway, I should be getting back. We have another meeting in ten minutes. I don't want to be late."  
He pulled her into one last hug and whispered: "I meant what I said. You can talk to me anytime. I'll be here."  
"I know." She whispered back. "Now hurry up, or you'll be late."  
"Okay. Bye Rey."  
"Bye" she said and watched Finn retreat towards the base.  
The sunlight filtered through the trees. Soft warm rays of light shone down on her face. She closed her eyes and allowed the Force to flow through her. Slowly but surely, she felt her breathing even out. Peace returned to her, where anxiety had been before.  
She inhaled deeply, filled with so much serenity it almost brought tears to her eyes.

Ben had been standing a few feet away.  
He had been in the middle of a training session when he felt something shift in her mood.  
She had been very anxious and sad and although she hadn't consciously reached out, he felt that little pull nonetheless. So he had given in and responded to her call.  
Only to see her with the Traitor.  
To see her confide in him, to see him pull her into his arms and to see Rey snuggle up so willingly…  
It was almost too much to bear.  
He watched in the shadows, unable to look away, hating every second of it.  
And then suddenly, in the midst of their embrace, he felt Rey's attention shift. She was thinking about… him!  
He frowned and tried to pick up more, but he couldn't make up the actual thoughts. Just… feelings.  
After a while, the Traitor left, and Rey was left sitting on that tree stump by herself.  
She started meditating and it was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.  
He could see and feel her reaching out and embracing the Force around her and within her.  
He could see how her anxiety and fears were replaced with peace and serenity.  
And he realized he was jealous.  
Jealous of her easy companionship with others, jealous of her power, jealous of the way she could be so calm and interact with the Force so strongly.  
Meditation had never been his forte. He had been much more in his element with fighting techniques, with mindtricks and mindprobing, with using the Force as a weapon and defense mechanism. It both baffled and astounded him to see her this way. His envy was not begrudging.  
He was… mesmerized.  
He leaned his shoulder against a tree trunk and watched her closely.  
Suddenly she opened her eyes and looked directly at him.  
Rey's eyes widened slightly and a soft smile reached her eyes.  
His stomach did a summersault when he realized it was directed at him.  
Her entire expression was so soft, he wanted to run to her and kiss her.  
"Goodmorning Ben." She spoke so softly, he had trouble hearing her.  
He couldn't utter a word over the lump in his throat, so he just nodded.  
They stared at each other for a while, and he decided he needed to get a grip.  
He looked around and was surprised to recognize his surroundings.  
His eyebrows shot up.  
"So…" he began. "Dantooine?" he asked with a lift of his brow.  
"They settled at Dantooine? Again?"  
He saw panic flit across her face and instantly felt her anger and dismay flow through their bond. White hot rage filled her and made her see red.  
She jumped up and quickly strode towards him, her staff at her side and ready to fight.  
"Is this why you're here?" she narrowed her eyes at him and he could feel the animosity down to his bones.  
"To figure out where we are so you can send your army here? Because if you dare to attack our base, I will personally hunt you down and make you regret the very idea." Her teeth were clenched and she was hissing at him. She was standing so close he could literally touch her if he drew in a deep breath.  
He couldn't help the smile. It just materialized out of nowhere.  
 _My fiery little scavenger…_ he thought.  
"I'm here because you wanted me to be here." He said quietly.  
She frowned, her fury still pouring into him.  
"No, I don't."  
"Yes, you do. You reached out to me."  
She frowned at those words.  
"I did no such thing. You're lying."  
Those words hit him in the gut. He narrowed his eyes at her and an angry glint shone in his eyes.  
He brought his face closer to hers and stared into her eyes deeply.  
"I _NEVER_ lied to you." He whispered vehemently. "Not once."  
Those telltale muscles near his mouth and beneath his left eye ticked.  
She knew it was true. He had never lied to her before. He had always been honest, no matter how much the truth hurt.  
His gaze held hers for a few more scorching seconds and then he straightened again.  
The look in his eyes grew aloof, almost cold.  
"I'm not here to gain intel, nor do I plan an attack on this base. Hux handles battlefront tactics and decisions." He said flippantly.  
"He hasn't figured out where the Resistance is hiding, but he's doing his best. I'm not going to ruin the fun for him."  
He shrugged his shoulder and looked away.  
Rey took a step back, still unsure what to think of this.  
"You'll not order an attack?" she inquired softly, confused.  
He met her gaze levelly.  
"No."  
She released a breath she didn't know she was holding.  
"But if he finds out on his own, if he finds the location of your precious Rebel Base, I won't stop him either." He continued coldly.  
Her eyes flew to his.  
"You would let him attack us?" she asked incredulously.  
Again he shrugged.  
"We're at war, Rey."  
Her face contorted in a semblance of disbelief and disgust.  
"You would let your men kill us?" she whispered with a frown. "You would let them kill your mother?" she said brokenly.  
His mind screamed _Of course not!_  
He said nothing. He simply stared at her with indifference.  
A sound of disgust escaped her as she turned away.  
"Rey…" he started as he took a step towards her.  
"No! Stay away from me." She shouted and she held her hand up towards him.  
He stopped midstride but continued talking.  
"I will not willingly put you at risk or in harm's way. But I cannot stop my men from doing their job."  
Her eyes were daggers.  
"Yes, Ben. You can! You are their Supreme Leader. You could end this whole war if you wanted to. One word would do. Just like that."  
He tentatively took a step towards her and she did not stop him or retreat from him.  
"What good would that do?" He asked her. "If I ordered my men to stop fighting, what good would come of it?" He searched her eyes and tried to make her understand.  
"Your friends want to restore the Senate. They want to bring back the Republic. But they don't see that it's not the solution." He stepped forward, closing the distance between them until they were no more than two feet apart.  
"Rey, the Republic and the Senate were corrupt. Everything seemed to be honest and open at first glance, but the deeper you delved, the uglier the truth! Bribes, secret societies, blackmail… " he was beseeching her with his eyes, boring into hers with a vehemence and conviction she had never seen so clearly in his gaze.  
"My mother spent her entire life fighting for this warped idea, and she still has no idea of how revolting the whole institution was!" His voice was flat as he said these words, as if he regretted her decision.  
She looked into his handsome face, surprised to see such passion there. There was no malice, just contempt for this system of which he thought it had failed the galaxy.  
"Trust me when I say that the Galaxy is far better off without them."  
He took her hands in his and frowned.  
"Rey, I want to build a new order. With you."  
He sighed deeply.  
"I want to create a new system, where people are free from chaos and anarchy. To be able to live their lives knowing that there is order in the galaxy. Together, we could do it. Rule with me."  
"At what cost, Ben?" she whispered.  
"These people are tired of living their lives under the tyranny of the First Order. All they want is to be able to be free."  
She had turned him down again.  
She saw the effect of her rejection in those dark eyes. Hurt and agony clouded them, and were starting to transform in his almost characteristic anger.  
She had to act quickly, or she would lose him forever. And that thought terrified her.  
"Ben, I would stand with you in a heartbeat! But I cannot come with you when my heart tells me that your vision for the galaxy is wrong."  
She stepped closer and put her hand on his chest, right over his heart.  
"Ben, please!" she whispered desperately.  
"I believe we could bring balance together, you and I." Her eyes begged him to hear her. "But not like this."  
 _Don't do this. Not again. I can't take it again…_  
He heard her through their bond. He felt her sincerity.  
"You want things from me that I cannot give." He said with a broken voice.  
"Do you expect me to turn back to the Light?"  
She saw the conflict in his features, felt it course through her as if it were her own.  
"Do you think people will forgive me and accept me back into their lives if I say I'm sorry?" His face contorted at the words.  
"I have done too much, been in the Dark too long, have taken too many lives, to ever be redeemed, Rey. If you expect that too happen, you'll be gravely mistaken. I can't go back to the Light. You can't save me. No one can."  
Her hand travelled up his chest to cup his cheek.  
She smiled at him softly.  
"You're right. I can't save you." She said quietly. "You need to save yourself."  
Her eyes dropped to his mouth and he could feel her emotions course through him. She wanted his kiss. Badly…  
Her tongue darted over her lips briefly and she whispered: "And I'll be here, waiting for you, when you do."  
And she raised herself on her toes and pulled his face to hers.  
Her lips touched his in the sweetest of kisses and in that moment, he forgot all about his plans for the galaxy… 


	11. Chapter 10

When their mouths touched, there was no room for anything else in his mind except Rey.  
The feel of her firm lips on his, the touch of her hands on his cheeks, the confidence with which she kissed him. She knew what she wanted, what he wanted, and she wasn't afraid to take it.  
Her tongue urged his mouth open and without hesitation took full possession.  
Her hands slipped into his hair and pulled him closer, and he instinctively put his arms around her and tugged her close.  
The air around them swelled and he could feel his body hum with the power of his emotions.  
 _This…_ he thought, _This is what I want. This is what I've always wanted. What I need.  
_ He felt her hope and her warmth pierce through walls he had erected years ago. Light exploded in him, and he had never felt so alive.  
A low moan escaped her and she pressed herself even closer.  
He clung to her as if she were his lifeline.  
His body trembled and he recognized the desire now. He needed to be with her.  
He grabbed her butt, lifted her to her toes and squeezed. Her head snapped back and she gasped. He caught her lower lip between his teeth and gently sucked on it, laving it with his tongue.  
He squeezed her ass again and she let out a low, guttural groan that tore his sanity apart.  
She captured his mouth again with passion and determination. Her hands fisted in his hair  
He could feel her need across their Bond. She wanted _him_. No one else.  
A flood of emotions and sensations washed over him, and he felt overwhelmed.  
He broke the kiss abruptly.  
His breath came in short bursts and he rested his forehead against hers.  
He felt her confusion through their bond.  
His voice was raspy when he spoke.  
"I can't do this anymore." He said as he closed his eyes.  
The words slashed through Rey, and she imagined this must have been what Snoke had felt when the lightsaber cut him in half.  
"What?" she said as she stumbled back.  
Ben grabbed her wrists to keep her from running.  
"Rey…" he all but whispered, his gaze locking with hers. The look in his eyes was so intense, that a lesser person would have cringed or have been terrified. Rey, however, merely felt that same intensity echo in her soul.  
"I can't do this anymore." His eyes bore into hers. "Not like this. I can't…" his voice trailed off and he inhaled deeply, trying to control himself.  
"I need to see you." He said heatedly. Her face scrunched up in confusion.  
"I need to see you in person, Rey." He continued quickly. "I need to touch you – _Really touch you -_ not through our Bond. I want to be able to feel the softness of your skin and the callouses on your hands. I want to actually taste your lips instead of this whisper of a ghostlike flavor."  
Those little muscles underneath his eyes were ticking again, he was clenching his teeth, and she could feel his desperation. She understood. Because she felt the same way.  
"I can't keep doing it this way. I've never…"  
He stared into her eyes and couldn't bring himself to say the words, not even through their Bond.  
But she knew.  
She pulled one of her hands from his grasp, reached up and brushed at a lock of hair that hung in his eyes.  
"Ben."  
She took a step closer.  
She smiled up at him and whispered softly: "Don't be afraid. I feel it too…"  
Shock registered in his face and then something strange happened.  
Ben laughed.  
Not a smile, not a chuckle. A fullblown laugh.  
And it was a glorious sound.  
He pulled her close and all but crushed her to his chest. His arms enveloped her and he kissed the top of her head.  
"You really are something else, Scavenger." He said affectionately as he rested his cheek on her hair.  
"I know." She replied, the sound muffled by the thick fabric of his tunic.  
He took a deep breath and they stayed like that for a few moments, both enjoying the nearness of the other. Both having a moment of absolute peace.  
Until he sighed deeply.  
"I mean it, Rey." He said resolutely. "I can't keep this up. I need to see you."  
She looked up in his eyes and felt a tiny tremor course through her.  
 _Anticipation_.  
She nodded and said softly: "Where? When?"  
He seemed surprised at her easy compliance.  
"As soon as possible." He said. "Can you arrange a ship?"  
She nodded.  
"Leia said she would help us anyway she could. I only have to ask."  
He frowned and sounded taken aback.  
"She did?"  
Rey smiled. "She did." She leaned back into his arms and looked up at him.  
"She gave me a long lecture about how dangerous it was and all the things that could go wrong. And then she hugged me and told me she supported us and she would do whatever she could to help us."  
The more she said, the more flustered he seemed.  
"Your mother loves you very much, Ben." She said softly.  
She witnessed him retreating in himself, going back to that unreachable place.  
"I don't see how she could."  
"I can." She simply stated.  
His mouth parted in surprise and she suddenly realized she had spoken aloud.  
She ducked her head, refusing to let him see the color rising in her cheeks.  
"So, I can get a ship, but we'll need a place to go. Got any ideas?"  
He was pensive, trying to figure out what in the galaxy her words were about. Hoping against hope, knowing it was pointless. This whirlwind of emotions was exhausting.  
He looked at his surroundings and suddenly felt something. A presence. A guidance.  
It whispered in his soul.  
 _Naboo.  
_ "Naboo." He said calmy. "We'll meet at Naboo."  
"Naboo?" She exclaimed. "Ben, that is halfway across the galaxy!"  
He looked at her. Again, that whisper in his soul… _  
Varykino._  
"We'll meet at Naboo. At Varykino." He frowned as a memory floated back. "My family has an estate there. We could stay at the mansion for as long as we like."  
Rey looked at him with surprise.  
"You're serious." She stated.  
"Yes, I am." He replied calmly. "No one has been there in years, but I know that there are still caretakers. It's still in fine condition, I'm sure, and all of the servants are sworn to secrecy when they are hired. It was a retreat for royalty, after all."  
Her eyes wide, all she managed to say was: "Oh."  
"Go to Leia. Ask her for the ship. When you're on board, disable your tracking systems and contact me. I'll send you the coordinates. I'll meet you there."  
He watched her swallow and nod her head in agreement. He quickly brushed his lips against hers and then the contact was broken. He vanished into thin air.  
She felt cold all of a sudden. Empty without his nearness. Alone.  
She allowed herself a moment to gather her thoughts. She had been so close to telling him something she figured neither of them was ready to admit. _So close._  
She needed to watch herself really closely from now on…  
She was suddenly overcome with a sense of urgency. Naboo was literally halfway across the galaxy. If she wanted to be with him, she'd better get going. Driven by an urge she could not fathom or deny, she simply spun on her heels and started running towards the base.  
Upon her arrival, she saw Rose standing on the far side of the bridge.  
"Rose!" Rey shouted out, earning quite a few startled glances her way.  
She ignored them and swiftly crossed the distance.  
"Hey Rey!" Rose said happily as she turned with more spring in her step than one would expect from someone who had been floating between life and death for weeks. It made Rey frown.  
"Are you supposed to be out of bed yet?" she asked with concern in her voice.  
"Oh pfu," Rose said with a gesture of her hand. "I've been in bed for too long as it is. I'm excited to be out and about again. I had to promise to take things slow for a few more days, but I'm sure I'll be fine." She said flippantly. "How can I help you, Rey?" she asked.  
Rey swallowed and quietly asked: "Do you know where General Organa is?"  
"Umm, yeah, they're having a meeting in the conference room."  
"Right. Thanks Rose." She said, already turning in that general direction.  
"Rey, wait!" Rose started, but Rey was already too far to respond.  
Rey headed over to the conference room as if she were chased by a rathtar.  
She knocked on the door and when she heard a muffled "Yes, come in?", she quickly opened the door. Several pairs of eyes stared at her with different expressions. Some were surprised, some were concerned, others were clearly annoyed.  
She saw Finn, Poe and Leia look at her with concern though. She had to get this over with quickly.  
"I'm sorry to interrupt General, but I have an urgent request." She started. When Leia's eyes narrowed almost imperceivably, Rey continued quickly.  
"May I have a word with you?" her eyes darted over the other attending commanders and she added a hesitant: "Please?" to it.  
Leia seemed to understand her. For she nodded and addressed the group.  
"Excuse me for a moment."  
Leia turned to her and met with her at the door. As soon as they were in close proximity, Leia searched her face.  
"What is it?" she whispered.  
Rey glanced at the group nervously.  
"I need a ship." She whispered back.  
"Now?" Leia's eyes nearly bugged out and her voice slightly rose.  
Rey swallowed against the lump of fear lodged in her throat.  
"Yes."  
Leia regarded her with caution in her eyes.  
"Leia, please!" Rey begged her. "I need to leave as soon as possible. It's important."  
Leia's mouth flattened into a grim line and Rey saw so many similarities with Ben, it was uncanny.  
"Are you going to see my son?" she asked bluntly, keeping her voice low so the others wouldn't overhear.  
Rey fought the unreasonable fear she suddenly felt crawling across her skin.  
 _What if she refuses? What if she goes back on her promise?_ Her thoughts raced and apprehension pricked at the back of her neck.  
Leia stared at her. Resignation showed in those wise, dark eyes.  
"Take one of the X-wings. The First Order barely tracks one-man fighters. If you try to stay under the radar, you should be safe enough. And take a datapad with you, so you can communicate if the necessity should arise." She sighed.  
Rey's face blossomed into a huge smile. She let out a sigh of relief she didn't even know she was holding.  
"Thank you, Leia!" Her eyes dances with excitement. "I'll be back before you know it!" she whispered and turned to leave when she felt Leia's hand on her arm. She looked back at the older woman and saw warmth and concern in weary eyes.  
"Be careful, Rey." She whispered sadly. "And may the Force be with you. Always."  
Rey smiled and nodded. She turned and all but skipped towards the small hangar where the ships were docked.  
She was going to see him! 

Ben stood in the middle of his chambers, gobsmacked by what had just transpired.  
She had initiated another kiss and had agreed to meet him in person.  
And what was the deal with that presence he had felt? Whose was it? What in the galaxy had made him think of Varykino? He hadn't been there since he was barely out of diapers…  
But he had, and she had agreed, so he was definitely going.  
 _Now.  
_ He walked up to the intercom and made contact with the hangar's control center.  
"Yes, Supreme Leader?" A voice sounded over a slight static.  
He took a fortifying breath.  
"Prepare my ship. I'm leaving on a mission."  
"As you wish, Supreme Leader. We will have your ship and a squadron ready for you when you arrive." The androgyn voice sounded over the intercom.  
He ground his teeth and blew out a deep breath. He hadn't thought of the mandatory squad that was on board in all situations.  
"That won't be necessary. I'm heading out on a private mission. Alone. Prepare the TIE-Silencer instead of the Command Shuttle." He ground out. A short silence followed his remark.  
"Of course Supreme Leader." Came through the intercom. "We'll have everything ready upon your arrival.  
He ended contact and quickly left his chambers for the hangar.  
He stomped through the hallway on the Finalizer.  
He hadn't been this determined, this focused on anything since he had made up his mind to kill Snoke to save Rey.  
The Supremacy was still under construction, progress was being made and they were right on schedule.  
With every resounding thud of his heavy boots on the dark floors, his heart picked up its pace.  
He looked fierce and intimidating, and the way he held himself made his subjects make themselves scarce upon sight.  
He turned a corner and saw Hux standing at the end of the corridor, near the hangar he was headed for. Hux looked up and saw him.  
Ben had trouble keeping his annoyance in check. He quickly switched to his Kylo Ren attitude as he approached.  
"Supreme Leader." Hux started as he dismissed the Captain he was speaking with.  
"General" Ren clipped. He simply kept walking. Hux, to his dismay, merely fell in step with him.  
"I have been meaning to speak with you. I have received intel that could possibly…" Hux continued.  
Ren interrupted him.  
"General, this all sounds very interesting." He said curtly. "However, at this very moment, there are other matters I must attend to."  
"But Supreme Leader, this is important!" Hux interjected. He continued in a petulant and disdainful voice. "It regards the location of the Resistance Base. We must act swiftly if we are to…"  
Again, Ren interrupted him. They had reached the hangar and he could feel his impatience and anticipation grow with every second that passed.  
"General!" He said sternly, with enough authority in his voice to startle both Hux and the officers on the hangar's command center. "I will hear everything you have to say upon my return."  
The muscles around his mouth told Hux that the Supreme Leader was not in the mood to listen or to mince words.  
"For now however, I have other, more urgent matters that require my attention. I'm sure the intel you received will survive a few more hours?" He asked with an arrogant lift of his brow.  
Hux stared at him, contempt clear in that pale gaze. He did not, however, contradict him.  
"Yes, of course not. Supreme Leader." But there was something about the ginger's stance that made Ren's teeth clench. Then again, anything and everything about this man irritated him.  
He added in a very authorative voice: "I suggest you hold off any important decisions or action for the duration of my absence, General Hux. I will not be gone that long. I'm sure you will be able to contain your enthusiasm for that period of time. Now if you will excuse me."  
He turned on his heel, ignored Hux's irritated gaze and walked directly to the Silencer that was already awaiting him, ready for take-off.  
His hands trembled as he reached for the necessary buttons and his stomach did a slow roll.  
 _Rey?_ He inquired softly, reaching out through their Bond.  
 _Rey, are you there?  
Yes I'm here, _she replied _.  
Have you secured a ship?  
Yes.  
Good. I'm on my Silencer. Just head in the general direction of Naboo. I'll disable my tracker and I'll send you the specific coordinates in thirty standard minutes.  
Allright. _She said softly _. I'll see you soon.  
Okay.  
_He couldn't fight the smile that spread across his face.  
He was going to see her! 


	12. Chapter 11

Hux stood in silence as he watched their Supreme Leader depart on his secret, last-minute mission.  
Disgust rolled around in his stomach, it's bitter taste soiling his mouth and his thoughts.  
 _Oh, how I hate him…_ he thought _. How I hate him down to the very core of my being!_  
Hux couldn't get over the fact that this emotionally unstable, petulant, overgrown child was in charge of the First Order now.  
He, Armitage Hux, had worked his entire life to get as high up the ladder as he was, only to find himself having to take orders from this pathetic mess of a disgusting Force-sensitive piece of deplorable royalty has-been. His arrogance set his teeth on edge, the elitist air Ren emanated making him want to gag.  
He would never understand what it was like, having to struggle and fight to get to a certain place, to achieve a certain goal. People like him were handed everything on a silver platter, simply because they were privileged enough.  
He hated Ren!  
And he was up to something… He could feel it.  
What on earth could be so important that it required the Supreme Leader to take off, unaccompanied, with no regard for safety precautions or mandatory procedures? He claimed to want to bring a new order to the galaxy, but all he was doing was creating more chaos and anarchy, bending the rules to suit his own personal interests.  
He narrowed his eyes and watched the TIE-Silencer take off, only to disappear into hyperspace within seconds of its departure.  
He was definitely up to something. And Hux would get to the bottom of it.  
 _I'll make sure he won't reign for long…  
_ "General Hux," the officer to his right spoke. "It appears our Supreme Leader has disabled his tracking devices."  
Hux's eyebrows lifted and he faced the officer.  
"He disabled his tracking devices?" he asked incredulously.  
The young man looked up at him.  
"Yes, Sir." He said slowly.  
Hux narrowed his eyes.  
"All of them?"  
The officer swallowed and responded quietly: "Yes, Sir. All of them."  
Hux's mouth turned down as his regard for Ren diminished even further.  
 _Moody, arrogant little bastard… I'm going to get him. Soon…_  
"Our Supreme Leader must have his reasons for it." He said in a non-committal voice. He would not instigate any suspicion of his impending mutiny.  
"Keep an eye out and keep me informed. I want to hear about his return the second that ship is back in the hangar. Understood?"  
He gave the officer his coldest stare and watched the young man squirm.  
"Of course, General Hux. The moment he arrives."  
"Very well." He stated dryly. "Carry on."  
He turned on his heel and headed for his personal quarters.  
He was working on a project of his own too.  
No one was aware of it, but he had been able to obtain some of the security footage of what had happened in the throne room the day Supreme Leader Snoke had been killed.  
The footage had been severely damaged, and Hux felt instinctively that Ren's Force powers had something to do with that.  
What Ren didn't know, was that Hux's capabilities reached a lot further than Battlefield Tactics and War Operations. That it went beyond his knowledge of the Storm Trooper Program he and his father had erected.  
No, Hux's secret passion were computers. He had already been able to unscramble the first section of security footage, where he had been able to watch the arrival of the girl and the first five minutes after that. He would soon unscramble the rest.  
Ren was lying.  
He was sure of it.  
And when he had the proof of that, he would take their new "Supreme Leader" out.  
His lip curled in a vicious smile. His Force abilities wouldn't be able to save him this time around.  
 _Just a matter of time._

Ben arrived at Varykino first.  
The Finalizer was stationed near Coruscant, so he had been a lot closer to Naboo than Rey was.  
He navigated the TIE-Silencer to the landing platform for that purpose and exited with trembling knees.  
 _She's on her way. She'll be here soon._  
He took a deep breath and headed for the entrance to this large, opulent villa.  
His grandmother, Queen Padmé Amidala, ruler of the Naboo, had grown up here and used this as her vacation retreat during her reign. It was rumored that this was were she and his grandfather Anakin had finally given in to fate and had fallen in love.  
After Padmé's death and Anakin's transition to the Dark Side, it had been left in the capable hands of the caretakers. Padmé's grandmother and later her parents had seen to it until their own demise, and left it to Leia Organa, Princess of Alderaan. That had happened right before the Battle of Endor.  
He approached the huge doors and instead of knocking or ringing, he simply opened them and strode in.  
He stood in the large hallway and looked around.  
Not much had changed over the years. The scent of beeswax and flowers still clung to everything. Not a single dustmote was to be found, not a single dirtmark on the marble floors. The same paintings hung on the walls, the same vases and rugs were used to decorate.  
An older man, dressed in long tan colored robes appeared to his right.  
The man looked at him and mild surprise shone in his eyes.  
"Master Solo." The man said formally. "How nice to see you again, Your Highness."  
He bowed before Ben without any sign of hesitation.  
Ben's eyebrows shot up, but other than that displayed no signs of his surprise.  
"Thank you… ?" He let his words trail off in question.  
"Padraig, Your Highness. Son of Paddy, the former caretaker." He said with a slight bow.  
Ben merely gave an inclination of his head.  
"Thank you, Padraig. I am expecting a guest by the name of Rey. She will be joining me shortly."  
"Very well, Your Highness. Shall I prepare the master suite and a guest room?"  
Without showing any emotion, Ben addressed Padraig.  
"The master suite will do."  
"Very well, Your Highness. Would you like something to eat? Some refreshments?" Padraig continued professionally.  
"No, I'll wait till my guest arrives. We will have our supper in our room.  
With the smallest hint of a smile, Padraig bowed his head.  
"As you wish, Your Highness."  
"I'll be on the balcony. When she arrives, send her there."  
Padraig bowed his head and took his leave.  
Ben turned around and walked towards the large terrace, with its famous balcony. His mother had told him stories of how this was the place where his grandparents had fallen in love, how they had married here in secret. It was as beautiful as he remembered.  
The lake glistened as the sun was just barely starting its descent. Golden rays of sunshine reflected off it's surface and touched luscious green shrubs and colorful flowers. The scent of wildflowers hung in the air, a pleasant warmth enveloped him.  
He walked up to the bannister and stood there overlooking the lake. Legs apart, arms locked behind his back, he found himself lost in thought, in memories of an innocent childhood that he had forgotten on purpose.  
The loneliness befell him, but not as harshly as usual. No, this time, he remembered different things.  
Laughter. Raspberry kisses. Calloused hands ruffling his hair. Lullabies.  
He frowned as these memories assailed him. Suddenly, he was overcome with a strange sensation. He recognized it for what it was, even if it had been a long time since he had experienced one.  
A Force Vision.  
Knowing it was pointless to fight it, he closed his eyes and allowed it to manifest.  
 _Time seemed to warp, the sun set and rose and set again in a fast continuum. He seemed to be travelling in reverse. Without warning, he stopped and he saw two figures standing at this same balcony. A man and a woman wearing a veil. Flashes of other times and places mingled.  
He recognized the planet of Tatooine, having been there multiple times. He saw a small boy, blond hair and blue eyes smiling up at a young girl, dark hair and dark eyes and a beautiful smile that seemed familiar. Again the image shifted. The woman he had seen earlier, held the man close, her belly big with child. Another shift. The same woman, falling to the ground after the man had strangled her. Two babies. The woman, beautiful in death, carried to her grave. Darkness encompassed him. Light burst around him and he saw Rey standing before him. Suddenly, it was nightfall. He was lying on a bed, with Rey nestled close at his side. The feeling of peace and serenity overwhelmed him. She looked up at him with obvious affection in her eyes, kissed his cheek and rested her hand on his heart. The vision faded, the sound of babies gurgling and children's laughter sounded from afar. _  
Time rewound itself to it's current state, rendering Ben reeling and breathing hard. He felt nauseated and disoriented.  
 _Don't make my mistakes…  
_ That same voice he had heard earlier. The one who had guided him here.  
He frowned. This was different from any other vision he had ever had. He gripped the banister with a white-knuckled grip, heaving big gulps of air to try and regain his composure.  
 _Rey, where are you?_ He whispered in their Bond.  
She would be here soon. He would be able to look into her eyes, to touch her skin. _To taste her lips..._ He felt the anticipation in his chest build.  
He closed his eyes and breathed, using her name as a chant to calm his nerves.

Rey arrived one standard hour later.  
She was sure she had broken new records in travel time today. She had taken quite a few risks in trying to get here as soon as possible. She landed the X-wing on the platform next to Ben's TIE-Silencer.  
 _He's here!_ Her heart cried out. _He's really here!_  
She quickly got down from the X-wing and stared up at the mansion.  
Whatever expectations she had had when she had heard Ben mention an estate, they had not even come close to what she was witnessing.  
She had never before seen such a grand building, never seen such beautiful surroundings.  
The scent of wildflowers, greenery and something else but equally sweet permeated the air.  
Her heart thudded painfully in her chest as she walked up the steps that led to the main entrance.  
She hesitantly knocked on the door.  
Within seconds, the door opened and an older man in tan colored robes appeared in the door frame.  
"Ah, good evening Miss Rey." He said in a benevolent tone.  
"Welcome! Please come in. We have been expecting you."  
The man stepped aside and allowed her to enter.  
Surprise marked her features, but all she could think of was that Ben must have told this man she was coming. She smiled at him and mumbled a shy "Good evening Sir." In response.  
"My name is Padraig, Miss. Should you need anything, anything at all, you merely need ask. Master Solo is waiting for you on the balcony. He has asked me to bring you there upon your arrival. Shall we? This way, Miss." he said as he gestured for her to proceed ahead of him.  
Together they crossed the large hallway, a large sitting area and a sun room. Each room was more decadent and opulent than the one before.  
Beautiful hand-carved sculptures, exorbitant paintings and fresco's, intricate furniture…  
For a simple scavenger who had grown up on a desert planet, fighting for survival every single day, this was the ultimate vision of heaven.  
She was still looking around when Padraig opened large glass doors that led out to a large terrace overlooking a grand lake. Standing near the banister, stood a large, brooding figure clad in black.  
Her heart skipped a beat, only to return at double its original pace. Her breath caught and she saw Ben slowly turn to face her just as Padraig spoke up.  
"Miss Rey has arrived, Your Highness." He said as he bowed his head in reverence.  
Ben's eyes locked with her and she felt it's intensity hit her like a lightning bolt.  
"Thank you, Padraig. Tell the kitchen staff to start preparing our supper. We will be having it in the master suite, two hours from now. Now leave us." He addressed the servant calmly. Never once did his eyes waver from hers.  
Rey felt her stomach quiver. Her breath caught in her throat as she stood there, staring at him.  
This was the first time she had seen him in person since the Throne Room Fiasco. That's how she referred to it.  
He was still staring deeply into her eyes, his gaze so intense it was almost scorching.  
"Hello Rey." He said softly, his deep voice reverberating in her womb. Delicious tingles flitted across her nerve endings, causing goosebumps to form on her arms. Thank the Maker for the bindings that hid them. She swallowed over the lump in her throat.  
"Hello Ben." She breathed.  
A small smile played at the corners of his mouth.  
"And here I was, thinking you'd come running to me the moment you saw me…"  
His voice trailed off and he pushed his tongue to the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.  
Rey, on the other hand, did no such thing. She just started laughing, a sound he hadn't heard directed at him before. If he hadn't been trembling with anticipation before, he would be now.  
It was a beautiful sound, like a melody produced by delicate wind chimes. It made his insides clench.  
"Well, I didn't want you to think it would be that easy…" she said coyly.  
He felt himself harden with arousal at the sight and sound of her.  
She felt it through their Bond, and felt her body respond in kind.  
Heat pooled between her thighs and her stomach quivered. She felt her breasts grow heavy.  
He moved towards her, his steps slow and deliberate. Like a predator sneaking up on his prey.  
Anticipation.  
There was no better word for this feeling that overpowered any other feeling in their Bond.  
Anticipation. Desire. Need. Desperation. Longing.  
All these feelings coursed through them, drove them forward.  
He stopped right in front of her, a mere two inches of air separating them.  
He still held her gaze. The intensity she saw there should have scared her. It didn't. Instead, it merely excited her even more.  
She started trembling in earnest, her breath coming in short gasps.  
For a moment, they just stood there, toe to toe, staring into each other's eyes.  
His stomach clenched and he felt an overpowering need to reach out and touch her. To kiss her.  
But he knew that if he touched her here, they would never make it to the bedroom.  
His desire for her was too strong. He wouldn't be able to contain himself.  
She felt his need through their Bond and was left in awe by its power. She felt something inside her echo it.  
"Follow me." He said, his voice barely above a whisper.  
She couldn't speak to save her life, so she merely nodded.  
She had expected him to take her hand, but instead he walked past her and lead her back through the sun room, the parlor and the hallway.  
She followed him up the wide stone staircase to the first floor. He took a right turn and continued through a large corridor that made several turns. They passed several doors before they stopped at large double doors at the very end.  
He opened the door and let her walk past him, careful not to touch her in the progress.  
When she was inside the room, she was astonished.  
She couldn't utter a single word, her tongue stuck to the roof of her mouth as she took in the sight before her.  
Large floor-to-ceiling windows bathed the room in golden sunlight, provided by the setting sun. The view was dominated by the lake and the green hills in the distance.  
A very, _very_ large bed dominated the entire right side of the room, while a small sitting area with a fireplace and soft sofa's sat to the left. A large en-suite bathroom could be seen at the far end.  
The fire was burning and there were vases filled with the most beautiful and fragrant flowers she had ever seen.  
The large bed caught her eye again. The matrass was thick and the satin coverings looked soft and indulgent. She had never seen a bed like it. Her breath caught again when she noticed that someone had turned the covers down.  
She felt Ben behind her, the heat from his body radiating to her back.  
She felt his warm breath near her ear and neck and a shiver ran down her spine.  
Ben felt her wonder through their Bond at the sight of this room. He could feel her innocent delight.  
She had never seen this kind of luxury before, and he couldn't help the desire to want to indulge her as much as he could. His need for her overshadowed all else at this point though.  
"You do realize what is going to happen now, Scavenger?" he whispered in her ear. His voice was low and seductive and she felt her entire body turn soft and pliable.  
"I am going to make love to you." He said, just the slightest bit louder.  
"I am going to make you mine. Completely. I will brand you as my own, as much as you made me yours on Starkiller."  
The sound of his voice and his breath on that sensitive strip of skin, combined with the words he was saying and the passion in them caused her to shudder involuntarily.  
He let his hand trail from her shoulder down to her hand. She was pleasantly surprised to discover he was not wearing his gloves.  
When his fingers touched hers, she felt that same electric current run through her as she had on Ahch-To. Just as she had then, she gasped at the shock of his touch.  
"Ben" she whispered as she shivered again.  
He took her chin between his thumb and forefinger and gently turned her around to face him.  
She closed her eyes as feelings she had never felt this strong before overtook her.  
She had felt his touch before, through their Bond. But this was no comparison.  
This was a thousand times more intense. Every light touch of his finger pad felt as if he lit a fire in her pores. In her very soul!  
"Look at me." She heard him say.  
She opened her eyes and her breath caught when she saw the look on his face.  
The tenderness she saw reflected in that dark gaze took her breath away.  
"Say it." He said softly.  
"Say that you want to be mine. _Only mine_." He whispered vehemently.  
She felt and saw his desperation. She understood his need for this, for this confirmation. For her to acknowledge that she wanted to be with him.  
She placed her hand on his chest, right over his heart and did not break their gaze.  
Her tongue darted over her suddenly parched lips and she swallowed past the lump in her throat.  
"Ben…" her voice trailed off softly. "I cannot become what I already am." She said earnestly.  
She watched as a thousand thoughts and emotions flitted across his face and in his eyes.  
And then she felt it. His determination. His need.  
He cupped her cheek and lowered his mouth to hers.  
He kissed her hungrily.  
A groan erupted and she couldn't tell if it was his or hers.  
She fisted his tunic and pulled him closer until there was no more space between them.  
His left arm came around her and his hand grabbed her ass while his right hand moved from her cheek to tangle in her hair.  
He pulled her hair and her neck arched, breaking their kiss. His lips then made contact with her throat and she let out a small cry.  
She arched her neck even further, granting him better access. Her arms slipped around his waist and she let her hands slide across his butt. She caressed it and it was his turn to utter a soft growl.  
He let his mouth move up her neck again and rained kisses across her face as he murmured softly.  
"I promised myself I'd take this slow." He captured her lips in a slow, deep kiss. It rendered both of them breathless when he finally tore his mouth from hers.  
"But the way this is turning out, I guess slow is hardly an option." He had trouble drawing enough air in his lungs.  
The air around them crackled with energy, with the intensity of their desire and something else.  
She smiled up at him through heavy lidded eyes.  
"That's allright. We'll go slow next time." She said huskily.  
The little control he had left over his brain eluded him at her words. His mouth went dry and his blood coursed down to his groin at a frightening speed.  
He started moving them towards the large bed, and started loosening the belt at her waist.  
She got on her tiptoes and kissed him as she started returning the favor.  
Both belts came loose at the same time and they carelessly dropped it on the spot.  
Ben pulled at the long flowing fabric that hung from her shoulders and it fluttered to the floor.  
Rey took the edge of his tunic and impatiently tugged upwards, trying to get it off, frustrated when it got stuck. Ben helped her by grabbing the edges himself and pulling it over his head. He wore a soft shirt underneath.  
He made quick work of her arm wraps, tearing them off as fast as he could.  
Ben pulled the edges of her vest aside and pushed it off her shoulders with ease. A soft, crème colored chemise was all she had left covering her chest. It was so sheer he swore he could see her nipples underneath. He had trouble breathing as he realized that he was about to make love to Rey. His Rey. _Mine.  
_ He reached out and cupped her neck, pulling her towards him. She went eagerly and he crushed her lips in a kiss so passionate it made her toes curl.  
His other hand cupped her breast and the impact caused her to break the kiss with small scream.  
She looked into his eyes deeply.  
"Ben." She whispered and he saw the depth of her emotion in her hazel eyes. He felt it resound in his soul and felt her feelings through their Bond. He felt the jolt that went through her as he touched her breast. It was a powerful aphrodisiac. To feel her desire so strongly.  
He lifted her in his arms then and carried her to the bed, never breaking eye-contact.  
He gently laid her down on that soft matrass. He leaned over and touched his lips to hers with the most tender of touches.  
 _Rey. My Rey._  
She could hear him through their Bond, his soul echoing inside hers.  
 _My Ben._ She whispered back.  
He sat back, took his shirt off and then kneeled down before her.  
He gently tugged her boots off, first one then the other.  
He rolled her socks down with equal attention. He toed off his own boots and socks impatiently, the contrast stark with the patience he had shown her.  
He let his hands slide upward over her heels, up her calves and over the back of her thighs.  
By the time he reached her bottom, she was shaking with the strength of her desire.  
He showed her no mercy. As he continued to travel up her body, he let his mouth trail over her stomach, between her breasts and along the curve of her neck to find her lips again.  
His body completely covered hers now, his weight pleasantly heavy on top of her.  
She buried her hands in his glorious crop of hair, loving the way the silken tresses felt against her calloused fingers.  
"Ben" she gasped just as his mouth found her nipple through the fabric of her shirt.  
As his lips covered the rosy peak, his tongue flicked over the pebble-like bud.  
She couldn't help the squeal that escaped her at the sensation. His fingers dug into her hips as her body seemed to pulse with life.  
He turned his attention on her other breast and let his hands slowly slip under the chemise.  
She arched her back off the matrass as the foreign sensations overtook her. His hands caressed her ribs and his mouth was at her breast and his hair tickled her throat.  
Suddenly her hands were at his shoulders, tugging impatiently at his shirt and mumbling something he didn't comprehend.  
He sat up briefly and she quickly took advantage of that move to get up on her knees. As she sat kneeling before him, she grabbed his shirt and in one fluid movement they worked in unison to pull it over his head.  
The broad expanse of his chest made her breath catch, much as it had before. But now she was closer.  
She saw all the little scars that covered his skin. The weblike scar at his left side, right above his hip, from where he got hit by Chewie's bowcaster. Several scars covered his arms. And then there was the large scar from where she had slashed him with the lightsaber. She felt a brief surge of remorse and guilt. Sensing it through their Bond, he took her hand and kissed it gingerly.  
"I wear it proudly." He said softly. "It is the mark you left on me."  
She gulped and felt a tear spill. He leaned forward and kissed it off her cheek.  
He then unbuttoned her chemise slowly, pushing it off her shoulders and flinging it across the room.  
He pushed her back onto the matrass and let his lips drag across the exposed skin.  
He kissed her navel, letting his tongue dip into the small crevice as he started to undo her trousers.  
The impact of what they were doing suddenly hit her full force.  
"Ben, wait." She suddenly said.  
The instant her words left her mouth, she felt him tense up. She felt his alarm course through her as if it were her own. He feared her rejection more than anything. Already she could feel his anger bubbling up.  
He looked up at her and the apprehension in his eyes made her feel stupid for going about it this way.  
"I need to tell you something, before we…" She lowered her eyes, heat creeping in her cheeks.  
"I mean, what I want to say is…"  
She felt his wariness increase. He was starting to pull back from her. She met his gaze and felt incredibly ridiculous.  
"I've never… I mean…" She couldn't say it.  
"You've never what?" he all but growled.  
 _I'm a virgin._ She whispered through their Bond. _I've never done this before.  
_ Surprise marred his features. When he was over his initial shock, relief coursed through him.  
He drew himself on his forearms, his face hovering mere inches above hers.  
"So am I." he whispered softly, looking into her eyes with so much intensity it made her stomach tremble and her womb contract. At the look in his eyes, she felt a heaviness settle between her legs, and a need she had never felt so desperately before lodged deep inside her.  
"You are?" she asked, confusion clear in her gaze. "Really?"  
And just like that his anger and his fears were eradicated.  
She sounded so flustered, he couldn't help the laughter from bubbling up.  
"Have I ever lied to you?" he asked quietly, amusement still apparent in his eyes. But there was an honesty there, a light she had never seen before. It touched her soul in a way she could not even begin to describe if she had knowledge of every word in every language known to the universe.  
She smiled up at him and her heart was reflected in her eyes. She couldn't speak for the life of her.  
So she just reached up and brushed her lips to his.  
 _Make love to me, Ben_ she whispered in their Bond.  
His heart fluttered at those words.  
He deepened the kiss and gathered her close, taking the time to learn every detail. The taste of her lips and the contours of her mouth. The curve of her lips and the texture of her tongue.  
He was suddenly overcome by emotions so strong he had trouble containing them.  
He trembled as he reached down between them and undid her pants.  
He slid his fingers under the fabric and gently pushed it down her legs. He threw the garment to the side and looked at her naked form.  
"Kriff, you're beautiful." He choked out.  
As his gaze met hers, she felt his emotions through their Bond clearly. It mimicked her own.  
He undid his own trousers and took them off and she couldn't drag her eyes away from him.  
He was a perfect specimen of masculinity.  
His erection stood proudly, like a sentinel at a temple, waiting to comply to the Godess's every whim.  
She reached out at him and he gathered her in his arms.  
The moment their naked bodies touched, their skin tingled. Every inch that touched seemed to ignite sparks of awareness and pleasure and it was almost more than they could take.  
Their need for each other obliterated every rational thought and they were soon immerged in caresses.  
They kissed each other, their breaths coming out in ragged bursts, their murmurs becoming frenzied.  
He laved her breasts as she writhed beneath him. His hand found her core, his fingers slipping between her warm folds and he felt insanely proud that she was already slick and wet and ready for him. He rubbed her clit gently and she cried out. Her legs parted instinctively, granting him better access.  
Her hands gripped his shoulders in an iron clutch, grateful for his muscular build. She felt him smile against her skin. He sucked on her breast as she felt his finger slip inside.  
She let out a low moan and her eyes rolled back in her head at the sheer exquisite pleasure.  
He started a slow rhythm, and soon her hips bucked with him.  
She felt something inside her start to build. She absolutely loved what he was doing to her, how he made her feel. But she wanted more. She could feel him holding back to favor her. But she wanted him. All of him.  
He felt her grow more frustrated with every passing second. He felt her pressure build as sure as he could feel his own heart beating in his chest. She wanted more. _Needed_ more.  
Just as he was about to act on it, he heard her murmur through the Bond.  
 _Ben, please… More. I need more… Give me more… please._  
She sounded so desperate. He felt her agony.  
He kissed her lips and then dragged his lips down her body.  
 _Ben, what are you…_  
Her voice dragged out into a scream as his mouth had found her most sensitive part.  
He licked and sucked on her clit, as he added another finger and matched his pace to his mouth.  
It took her less than a minute before the pleasure built up so unbearably that she felt herself coil tighter than a rope, only to snap and shatter into a million tiny shards. She cried out in ecstasy and grabbed a fistful of his hair while her other hand fisted in the sheets. She lifted off the matrass and cried out his name.  
She collapsed back onto the bed and drew in a few deep breaths.  
Ben was kissing his way back up. He reached her lips and took her mouth in such a sweet, deep, slow and passionate kiss it left her breathless and wanting all over again.  
"Are you allright?" he whispered tenderly against her cheek as nuzzled her face.  
A broad smile split her face as she whispered: "No. I'm not. And I hope I never am again."  
She turned to him and kissed him as her fingers touched his scar gently.  
"Ben?" she asked softly. "I still…" she trailed off, frowning as she tried to find the right words.  
"I still need more." She admitted.  
He smiled at her and whispered: "I know." As he caught her lips again.  
He positioned himself between her legs and she felt his cock at her entrance.  
He was trembling with the effort to keep himself from plunging in deep.  
Sweat was beading on his brow, his hair damp from the strain he was putting on himself.  
"I'm sorry Rey, I'll be as gentle as I can." He ground out as he gently pushed his way inside.  
She felt an uncomfortable little stab of pain, barely worth the thought of it.  
What amazed her, was how she felt herself being stretched out to accommodate him, and the pleasure that came with it.  
He let out a fierce growl as he was fully sheathed inside her.  
"Kriff, Rey!" he shouted. He rested his forehead against hers and tried to regain some of his composure.  
It was pointless. He felt her pleasure and her sensations and they mixed with his own. He could feel her feel filled by him just as he felled her tight grip around him.  
If he wasn't careful, he was going to come right now. And that would be embarrassing as Hell…  
"Ben!" she cried out as she wiggled beneath him, restless and anxious for more.  
He leaned forward and kissed her neck as he started to move slowly.  
Rey whimpered at the delicious friction it caused. She wrapped her arms around him, her palms spread wide on his back. As his strokes became stronger, as he picked up the pace, she couldn't contain her cries, groans and whimpers. She felt the pressure start to build again, but she knew this would be different.  
The air around them swelled, crackled with energy. They could feel it. The Force.  
It surrounded them, enveloped them, intensified _everything._  
She felt her body start to tense, she was so close to it, something very much like the release she had felt earlier, but much more powerful. Much More powerful.  
Ben was panting, groaning with every thrust. He chanted her name through their Bond, and she could feel he was just as close as she was.  
He shifted a little, wrapping her legs around his waist and grabbing her ass.  
And just like that, everything changed.  
Suddenly his thrusts pounded against a very sensitive part of her. He seemed to be able to fill her more, to stretch her to the point of unbearable pleasure.  
She dug her fingers in his back and his ass, and she caught herself begging Ben to not stop, no matter what he did.  
She couldn't help the cries that she let out with every stroke, with every thrust. He hit that sweet little spot every time and she felt that same pressure build with every move he made.  
He dug his fingers in her ass and bit her neck and just like that, she snapped.  
The Force literally trembled around them, causing the building to shudder.  
She let out a primitive scream as her orgasm overtook her.  
As he felt her inner muscles clench around him, he let out a feral cry of his own.  
He dug his feet in the matrass and pushed into her as far as he could, feeling his own orgasm explode deep inside her. He felt every spasm of her orgasm clench around him, milking every drop of his cum from him.  
He collapsed on top of her, breathing hard, sweat slicking their skin.  
Tremors went through him at the intensity of what they had just experienced.  
They both simply lay there for a moment, trying to catch their breath.  
Rey touched her forehead to his and brushed her lips against his.  
Too spent for anything else, they fell asleep in each others arms, overcome by an otherworldly peace. 


	13. Chapter 12

A soft knock woke her up.  
For a moment, she was completely disorientated.  
When she noticed a heavy arm draped across her waist, she remembered. _Everything….  
_ The knock sounded again.  
She gently slipped out of bed, trying not to wake him. She quickly picked up his shirt and tugged it over her head as she tiptoed towards the door.  
She opened it carefully and peered through the slit.  
"Yes?"  
A young woman in a long gown stood on the other side holding a large silver tray laden with the most delicious smelling foods Rey had ever seen. Several plates were covered with a silver dome.  
"Your supper, Miss. His Highness told us to bring it up."  
Surprise marked Rey's face and her mouth formed a perfect O.  
"Yes, he did." She all but whispered.  
Strange to hear them call Ben "His Highness. She'd have to ask him about that.  
She opened the door to take the platter from the young servant, but instead the woman just walked past Rey and placed the tray on the low table near the fireplace.  
She turned and addressed Rey formally, only briefly flicking her eyes up and down at Rey's appearance.  
"Is there anything else I can get you, Miss?" She inquired softly.  
"No thank you… I'm sorry, I did not catch your name?" she replied.  
"Moira, Miss." The young woman said with a small smile. "The name is Moira. Should you need anything, just ring the bell." She said as she pointed towards an ornately woven cord near the bed and then curtsied and left the room, closing the door with a soft click.  
Rey couldn't contain herself. She lifted one of the lids and what she saw made her mouth water.  
Steaming bowls of soup with small balls of bread on the side. Beautifully cooked slices of tender meat, an exotic and colorful arrangement of vegetables and something fluffy that looked like a type of grain or something. A wide variety of fresh fruits along with something soft and creamy she didn't know. Completely unfamiliar, but very appealing and extremely decadent. Especially to someone who had been starving most of her life…  
She was about to dig in without thinking, when a low voice startled her.  
"Aren't you even going to wait for me?"  
She jumped and looked back at the bed.  
Ben was leaning his head on his palm, raised on his elbow and looked at her. Lying in the midst of twisted sheets, with his hair all ruffled and messy and looking all sleepy and mussed, she finally understood why women went crazy over men. She finally understood their appeal, something she had never considered before.  
Her mouth went dry and she felt her body respond, even more so than before. She knew what would happen now. She knew what pleasures lay ahead. Even so, she was not going to be some spineless woman. She would never yield without a fight.  
"And let the food grow cold?" she quipped with an arched brow.  
To make a point, she took one of the breadrolls and bit into it.  
Now he was the one to raise an eyebrow.  
"I guess table manners were irrelevant on Jakku?" he asked dryly.  
She would have been offended if she hadn't seen the twinkle in his eyes.  
"They only mattered when A. you weren't starving, and B. when you had an actual table to sit at."  
He smiled.  
"Touché."  
She inclined her head to acknowledge her small victory.  
She bit into the roll again when she noticed him watching her very closely.  
There was something very disconcerting about the gleam in his eyes.  
"Why are you looking at me like that?" she said with a tilt of her chin.  
 _Another easy smile…  
_ "You're wearing my shirt." He said in a soft voice.  
"And?"  
"And… I like it. I like seeing you like this." His smile faded slightly, but not in a bad way. More as if he were lost in thought.  
Rey felt at a loss. She wasn't accustomed to this type of conversation. She was direct, to the point, sometimes brutally so. She wasn't flirty and seductive and soft.  
So she shrugged a shoulder and simply stated: "It was either put your shirt on or open the door naked. I figured the person on the other side of the door would have preferred this."  
She turned and sat down on one of the sofa's in front of the fire.  
She heard the sheets rustle softly and then the sound of his bare feet after some rummaging.  
She felt him lean over her and put his arms around her.  
He kissed the side of her neck and whispered in her ear: "Still, I like the way my shirt looks on you."  
Other words tumbled into their Bond as he kissed her neck and ear.  
 _Soft, vulnerable, feminine and very enticing…  
_ "Aren't you hungry?" she breathed, trying to focus on the food. The effort was making her voice tremble. It only got worse when he whispered in her ear.  
"Starving…"  
She closed her eyes and let her head fall back against his shoulder.  
He nibbled her ear, kissed her neck and pulled the shirt aside to rain kisses on her shoulder.  
She started to tremble and her breathing became faster. He was so gentle! Of all the things she had expected, this gentleness he was showing her was far beyond her expectations. And yet, what she felt wasn't gentle. Not all of it. It was raw and rough and very addictive.  
He placed a kiss on her cheek and softly spoke, effectively bringing her attention back to the present.  
"You're right though. I'm going to need all the nourishment I can to keep up with you…"  
He sat down next to her on the sofa, letting out a sigh as he lifted the lids off the plates.  
She noticed he was wearing his trousers. These weren't nearly as high as the ones she had seen him wear before, when she was still on Ahch-To. These stopped just over his hips, revealing his very chiseled abs. Again, that heavy feeling returned between her legs. She decided to ignore it. For now…  
They ate in silence for a while, simply enjoying the exquisite food and each other's nearness.  
When they were done, he pulled her close to him. He tucked her under his arm and kissed the top of her head. His fingers trailed her arms absently and Rey felt him becoming lost in thought.  
Rey had to keep herself from looking into his mind. It was mighty tempting, though. She didn't know how to handle dark, brooding men. Every man she had encountered so far had been easy enough to understand. They were open and clear and opened up to her easily. Ben had trouble letting people in. Something she could relate to. Something she could understand, knowing how conflicted he was and how he had been used and abused for years.  
When she could not handle the silence anymore, she threaded her fingers through his and softly asked: "What are you thinking of?"  
She felt him draw in a deep breath and listened to his sigh. He was weary.  
"Anything and nothing." He murmured against her hair.  
She frowned, not knowing how to respond to that.  
He chuckled softly. She felt it rumbling through his chest and vibrate through her own.  
He kissed her crown again and whispered: "Oh Rey…"  
She felt him smile.  
And she felt… Balance.  
She was happy in his arms, in this easy companionship they shared. She felt… at home.  
Instantly, that made her think of the Resistance.  
Of Leia and Finn and Poe. Of Rose and the droids and everyone else.  
 _What am I doing?_ She asked herself. She was being selfish. Allowing her own happiness to take precedence over all else. How could she do this? This wasn't right! And still… it felt more perfect than anything in her life ever had…  
Ben felt her stiffen in his arms. Felt her mood switch like a shift in the tide.  
"Rey?" he asked, concern in his voice.  
"I have to go." She muttered and tried to get up. He stopped her by holding on to her hand.  
"Rey, sweetheart, what's going on?"  
He got up off the sofa and looked at her, but she avoided his gaze.  
"It's getting late. I have to go." She said and shook off his hand.  
He panicked.  
"Don't go. Not yet. We have a little more time." He said softly, as seductive as he could.  
She looked at him then.  
She watched him swallow and do that incredibly cute thing with his mouth. A strange sort of pursing his lips. It always tugged at her heartstrings. A sign of his insecurity, although he obviously wasn't aware of it. It made her want to run to him and hug him close and tell him everything was going to be alright.  
She shook her head.  
"No we don't. For all we know, Hux has already discovered our location. He could be attacking the base as we speak."  
"He's not." Ben spoke quietly. Confidently.  
"How do you know that? How can you be sure of that when you are here?" she argued.  
He stepped a little closer and let his eyes bore into hers.  
"Because I gave him strict instructions to hold off any attacks or Battlefront decisions until I returned."  
His calm voice made chills run down her back. She frowned and studied his face.  
"He's already found us, hasn't he?"  
Ben swallowed over the lump in his suddenly constricted throat. He couldn't lie to her. Even if he wanted to. And right now, he would have given everything to be able to tell her a white lie.  
"Yes." He swallowed again. "I believe he has."  
Rey felt as if the ground beneath her feet had disappeared and she was falling down into a dark abyss. Her mind raced. She looked up at him accusingly.  
"Is that why you wanted to see me? To keep me away from the Base? So they can attack without me being there?" Her nostrils flared in anger, her eyes were flashing, cheeks flushed with indignation.  
"No!" he yelled. "He hasn't been given authorization to attack yet! They were told to refrain from action for the duration of my absence!"  
She stepped back as if he had slapped her. Her eyes narrowed and her lips were drawn in a tight line.  
"So as soon as you return, they'll begin their offense." She stated calmly.  
"Rey…" he started, but she interrupted him.  
"I cannot believe this!" she said venomously. She stared him in the eye and conveyed every emotion she held inside through their Bond.  
Anger, frustration, helplessness, disappointment, hurt, trepidation, fear, disillusionment, hopeless.  
And pity.  
 _Pity?!  
_ She pitied him? He lifted his chin in defiance. He was the Supreme Leader! He controlled the Galaxy. Entire systems bowed before him. He had the power to…  
"You have the power to do good, more power than anyone has ever seen! You have a good soul inside you, I can feel it!" She shook her head and made a face as if she were tasting something foul.  
"And yet, you choose to go down the Dark path! To instill fear and terror wherever you can. To bring destruction and death and so much fear! How can you do this?" she was yelling at him now.  
"How can you leave here, knowing that in a few hours you'll be giving the orders to destroy and kill an entire community of people, _to kill your mother_!" she continued heatedly, "Simply because they do not agree with you? When you know, _YOU KNOW_ , that you are better than that?"  
He simply looked at her.  
He wouldn't even try to explain.  
"I am the Supreme Leader of the First Order now, Rey." He stated coldy.  
"I have a vision for the galaxy. I will bring order and peace to our Universe. I will build a new world upon the ruins of the old ways. I vowed to do whatever necessary to reach those goals."  
"By killing anyone who opposes you? By destroying anyone who questions your vision or tactics?" She asked quietly.  
"If that is what it takes, then yes!" he said. His voice rung loudly in the silence that followed.  
They stared at each other for what felt like eternity.  
She then nodded. "Fine." She walked across the room, picking up her garments along the way, shrugging them on impatiently. When she had tugged on her boots, she turned back.  
He was still in the same spot, watching her with hooded eyes. Not a single sign of emotion. Not anything to be felt through their Bond.  
Her voice rang hollow in the room, bouncing off the walls and reverberating in the silence.  
"We both took great risk in coming here. We both thought it was worth it. And it was." She spoke confidently.  
"But now I fear we're even further apart than ever." She studied her fingernails briefly, took a deep, shuddering breath and then looked up at him again.  
"You've made your choice." She stated coldly. "When we meet again, we'll be enemies again. Because I will never turn. I refuse to join you if you insist on going down this path. You'll have no choice but to kill me."  
A tear slipped down her cheek.  
"Goodbye Ben."  
She turned and walked out the room. The door closed with a loud click.  
Ben was left standing in the middle of the room, looking at the spot where she had just been, and felt himself torn between running after her and letting out his anger at the bed where he had allowed his weakness to take over.  
Instead, he simply stood there and felt his heart grow heavy and emptiness steal at his soul.


	14. Chapter 13

Rey stormed out of the mansion as fast as if the entire First Order was on her heels.  
Darkness was growing around her, and it suited her just fine.  
She rushed towards her ship, jumping in and starting the proper sequences without thinking.  
She was about to take off when she felt it. His presence brushed against her. She hesitated.  
 _Don't go, Rey. Not like this. Not again._  
His words spilled into their Bond. She could feel his anger, his frustration, his remorse.  
Her heart lurched. By allowing their bodies to merge, so had their souls. Even more than before. She could feel _everything_ he felt. Every nuance, every flimsy emotion, every intent. She could feel it all if she wanted to. Their Bond had intensified to the extreme. They were even more part of each other now than ever before.  
She knew just what he was asking her now. He was asking her not to leave him, not to block him out like she had on Crait. To not abandon him.  
She closed her eyes and felt sadness wash over her. Loneliness. His or hers, she couldn't tell.  
Finn's face swam before her mind, as did Leia's, and Poe's, and Rose's and…  
She felt her resolve strengthen.  
She cared for Ben, more than she wanted to acknowledge. More than she dared to examine.  
But she cared for her friends, for the family they had become.  
She could not, _would not_ let anything harm them if she could help it.  
She took a deep, fortifying breath and spoke clearly, calmly into their Bond.  
 _As long as you insist on forcing your warped idea for the Galaxy upon innocent people, as long as you prefer to instill fear instead of respect, as long as you keep choosing the Dark Side over the Light or even over common decency, I have nothing to say to you.  
Rey….  
Leave me alone, Kylo Ren. _  
She pulled her mental walls up, effectively blocking him out. She wouldn't look back. She wouldn't crumble. She pushed the buttons and took off.

Ben stood at the edge of the balcony, watching her X-wing ascend slowly, turn around and then after a short flight make the jump into hyperspace.  
 _Leave me alone, Kylo Ren.  
_ The words danced around in his brain, bouncing off the reverberations of the figurative echoes of her slamming the door on him. Again.  
She had called him Kylo Ren.  
Not Ben.  
Kylo.  
Never before had he hated the name until he heard it roll off her tongue so coldly.  
He wanted to destroy something. He wanted to hurt something. He wanted to roar.  
So he did.  
"REY!" he screamed at the retreating X-wing. She couldn't hear him physically, but he knew she could feel it, even through those barriers she was pulling up faster than he could blink.  
His heart felt as if it had been ripped from his body, as if a chunk had been taken out of his soul.  
Shamefully, he admitted to himself that he wanted to fall to his knees and bawl his eyes out.  
And that admission caused him to become angry.  
Anger was good.  
He could channel anger. He knew how to handle anger. He was used to anger. He was used to pain as well, but this type of suffering was completely new to him. It was worse than anything he'd ever felt.  
Even compared to the worst torture Snoke ever put him through, worse than Luke's betrayal or his parents leaving him behind.  
 _Leave me alone, Kylo Ren.  
_ The finality in her voice gave him steely resolve, even as it caused a tremor down his spine.  
Enemies.  
They were back to being enemies.  
 _Or are we?_ He thought quietly.  
Despite his anger, despite his anguish, he knew that when the time came to confront her, he could not kill her. He would not be able to take her life.  
She was meant to be with him. He had seen it in every vision he had ever had of her.  
 _Don't make my mistakes._  
The strange voice snuck in again. Ben frowned at the faint memory. He didn't recognize the voice, nor the images that had flashed before him in his vision earlier. But they were important. Vital.  
He looked up at the darkened sky.  
She was out there. Somewhere amidst those stars.  
She was off to Dantooine. To the Resistance Base. To warn her friends of an impending attack from his troups.  
Heaviness settled in his soul as he found himself on strange crossroads.  
He should head back and give his orders to Hux. There was no way around it if he wanted to retain any sort of credibility with his men. They were already losing patience, he knew. Chomping at the bit to do more than train. To get some action. Any more idling about and they would lead a mutiny. Probably with Hux leading them on.  
A vicious sneer curled his lip at the mere thought of the redhead.  
How he hated that little weasley mutt!  
The man was an underhanded, arrogant little shit, but he served his purpose. Ben had to admit that he did excel in warfare. He had a vicious streak that had proven its worth in the past. It would come in handy again, along with that tactical mind of his. He really shouldn't waste any more time.  
But if he left now, Rey wouldn't stand a chance. She would have no time to escape.  
He frowned and felt a headache build behind his brow.  
He could not hold his decision off for long.  
But he decided that he probably had enough time for a quick trip to the fresher before he left.  
He headed inside.  
 _The fresher it is._ He thought. _After all, it wouldn't do to return looking like disheveled and smelling like her._  
 _And if I just happen to linger a little, it won't have anything to do with a certain Scavenger having the time to get away…_  
His thoughts were traitorous, even to himself. But as long as Rey was safe, he would be able to live with his self-disgust.  
He picked up his clothes off the floor, where they had been thrown haphazardly.  
He headed for the bathroom and quickly shucked his pants. He threw everything on a pile on top of a small stool in the corner. Mild irritation at his own carelessness pricked at him. He usually would fold or hang everything with military precision. He decided he couldn't care about it right now.  
He stepped into the fresher and turned it on.  
For a few moments, he allowed himself to stand there and feel the rays of water pelt down on him.  
The hot water briefly scalded him, then blissfully numbed him. His throat constricted painfully and his eyes burned. But it was from the hot water. That was all it was. That was all it could be.  
Rage shot through him again, white hot and blinding and he felt the obscene need to act on it.  
He grabbed a washcloth and started rubbing his arms and chest with a vengeance. He would scrub her memory from his body, scrub away the pleasure and happiness she had brought him if it killed it. He didn't stop until the combined sting of hot water, soap and skin scrubbed raw to the point of bleeding pierced his momentary lapse of sanity. He looked down and saw tiny red rivulets run down his arms and chest and drip down to the floor, only to disappear down the drain.  
 _Pain is a good teacher, Kylo Ren. Pain leads to anger. It will fuel your power in the Dark Side…_  
The sound Snoke's voice echoed in his mind. Panic flashed through him briefly, before he realized it was a memory and not his Master, back from the grave.  
Disgusted with his own twisted behavior and thoughts, he turned the spray to cold. The shock helped clear his mind and his system, snapping him back to the present.  
He turned the fresher off and stepped out.  
He quickly toweled himself off and started to put his clothes back on. It didn't take him long to realize that his shirt was missing.  
 _Rey has it._  
The idea that she had it, was both a comfort and a source of irritation.  
 _Would she sleep in it? Keep it because it was mine?_  
He scoffed at himself for such frivolous and pointless thoughts.  
With every piece of clothing he put on, he felt some of his former self click back into place.  
With every piece of clothing, his resolve to not crumple because of her grew.  
When he was fully clothed – minus the undershirt – he felt exactly that what she had called him.  
Kylo Ren. Supreme Leader of the First Order.  
He would do whatever he had to do to realize his plans for the galaxy.  
As he put his left glove on, he gave it an extra little tug.  
Determination made his jaw clamp down and his mouth twist as he exited the room and left straight for the front door.  
He _would_ make his vision a reality.  
And she _would_ rule at his side.  
Just a matter of time…  
He stepped out and went straight for his ship. He quickly got everything in position and took off without looking back.  
 _Just a matter of time…  
_

Rey once again broke records in getting back to the base.  
Poe and Finn were in the hangar, both men scowling at her, one more intently than the other.  
As she climbed down from the X-wing, Finn didn't even wait for her feet to hit the ground.  
"Where on earth have you been, Rey? Why did you take off like that? We've all been worried sick about you!" He walked up to her with his arms outstretched, just ready to pull her in.  
She sent him an apologetic look and simply brushed him aside.  
"Not now, Finn, I'm sorry. I'll explain later."  
Still walking as fast as she could without breaking into a run, she addressed Poe.  
"Where's Leia?"  
His eyes were still trained on her with a strange expression, but he answered in a neutral voice nonetheless.  
"She's on the bridge."  
She frowned as Poe's face scrunched up in a frown of his own. She had a distinct feeling that he knew more than he let on. She tried to shake it off, but the uneasy feeling stayed with her. She nodded and started running inside the base.  
She headed straight for the bridge and found Leia standing with a small group of officers. They were hunching over a table, studying something that didn't interest Rey in the least.  
"General Organa!" she shouted at the top of her lungs to be heard over the hubbub and commotion that was the Command Bridge.  
The silence that followed was almost surreal.  
The moment seemed frozen in time, everyone looked at her, what felt like a thousand eyes staring at her in question and surprise.  
She felt it, but ignored them all as she sprinted across the room. Leia took several steps in her direction, meeting her in the middle of the room.  
"Rey?" she asked with a worried expression. "Are you allright? What's wrong?"  
Rey felt panic bubble up, the anxiety she had tried to keep in on the way back to the base no longer contained.  
"Leia, we need to evacuate." She sounded slightly breathless, a combination of fear, stress and the physical exertion of running as fast as she could.  
"Rey, calm down. What is going…" Leia said softly, but Rey interrupted her, grabbing her arms in a viselike grip.  
"The First Order. They know where we are. They're going to attack any moment. We need to evacuate the base. NOW!" she insisted in a loud voice.  
Leia's eyes instantly grew hooded and wary.  
"Rey, come with me." Leia said softly as she turned.  
"Leia, there's no time!" Rey's face was scrunched into a mask of impatience.  
"We have to start the evacuation NOW! They could be here any minute. We need to get everyone out!"  
Leia stepped closer. She stared Rey in the eye and the look she gave her would have given her pause if she had had the time to think about it.  
"How do you know this?" she asked softly, barely above a whisper. "Who told you?"  
The older woman's stare was hard but Rey was just as tough. A small frown and a tiny pull at the corner of her mouth were all that showed her vulnerable emotional state. No one would have noticed, but Leia saw it.  
"Ben." Rey whispered so softly it was barely audible, but Leia heard it as if she had been shouting the single syllable from the top of her lungs.  
Leia showed no emotion whatsoever, but Rey picked them up nonetheless.  
"How can you be sure he was telling the truth?" she whispered back.  
"I…" she started.  
Rey averted her gaze briefly and heat climbed in her cheeks as she remembered what had transpired. How he had tried to seduce her to stay with him a little longer. How tempted she had been for a split second, before reality came crashing back with a vengeance…  
Leia sighed when she realized what Rey couldn't bring herself to say.  
"He had no reason to lie." She whispered. She was about to say more, but Leia cut her off unceremoniously.  
"Save it." She muttered to Rey before raising her voice and pushing a button.  
"Code Red. Start evacuation mode immediately. I repeat: Code Red. Start evacuation mode immediately!"  
She turned back to Rey and said: "You can explain later."  
Rey simply nodded and followed the instructed protocol of evacuating the premises.

By the time he returned to the Finalizer, he was in full Kylo Ren-mode.  
Or mostly anyway.  
As soon as his ship landed, the officer at the control panel alerted Hux, as the man had requested.  
Kylo Ren emerged from the fighter and with forceful, determined strides walked towards the Command Bridge. He pinned the officer with a look that could easily rival his Force Choke.  
"Have General Hux meet me in the conference room and have him assemble his Commanders."  
He strode past it without another word, not waiting for a response but instead heading straight for the elevator.  
He punched the button for the right level and watched the doors close.  
Again, that irritating niggle of doubt wiggled in.  
 _Why are you doing this?_ That voice inside his head whispered again. _You don't want this. You'll hurt her. You'll lose her if you do this. Is that what you want?  
_ He could feel his heart tug and squeezed his eyes shut in response.  
He wanted to get this fucking see-sawing behind him!  
Back and forth, back and forth, back and forth… Over and over and over again!  
Anger at his own weakness made bile rise in the back of his throat.  
Why was he doing this to himself?  
The voice was right though. If he did this, Rey might get hurt.  
He had already pushed her away. If he did this, he might lose her forever.  
He tried to ignore the painful spasm in his chest.  
The elevator stopped its ascend and the doors opened.  
 _No time for doubt._ He told himself. Steeling his resolve, he stepped out of the elevator and walked through the double doors leading into the conference room.  
Hux was standing near the door, waiting for him.  
 _Showtime…  
_ "Ah, Supreme Leader!" the obnoxious twerp greeted him with fake enthusiasm.  
"So good to have you back. I hope your trip has been worthwile." He continued.  
"You may disperse with pleasantries, General Hux." Kylo Ren spoke forcefully. He stared at the man with ice in his eyes.  
"Before my departure, you informed me that you believe to know where the Resistance is residing." He said cooly, his voice matching his demeanor.  
"Yes, Supreme Leader. Our sources have informed me that they have struck up a new Base at Dantooine."  
Careful not to show anything in his face or stance, the knowledge there was a traitor within the Resistance registered.  
"Very good." He said. "Tell me, General…" he continued in a professional, detached tone, "how fast can our troops be readied and present at the target?"  
Hux lifted his eyebrow and in a very smug manner stated: "Our men are ready, Supreme Leader. They can be shipped out in a matter of minutes. They could be at the target within three standard hours."  
The prick looked happy. The thought of his glee made Ren sick to his stomach. He had no intention of pleasing this pawn in any way, but it was not to be avoided.  
"Excellent." He muttered.  
"You may ready your men, General Hux. And prepare my shuttle. We are to leave within thirty minutes."  
If possible, he watched as Hux grew even more smug. As if he had been waiting for this very moment.  
Kriff, he probably had!  
"Anihilate that base. Reduce it to nothing. But…" he let his voice trail off as he walked towards the doorway.  
He had his hand on the doorknob when he turned back and addressed Hux one more time.  
"You will spare General Organa, Poe Dameron, FN-2187, The Wookie and the girl." He spoke slowly, intently. An icy glint shone in his eyes and he made sure everyone in the room knew exactly how serious he was.  
"You will capture them and keep them unharmed." He narrowed his eyes and allowed a sick little smile to play with the corners of his mouth.  
He watched Hux become slightly rattled at the sight of his smile, much to Ren's delight.  
He decided to add to his General's discomfort.  
"I have…" he trailed off and allowed a real grin to break through, menacing and foreboding, "special plans for them."  
Hux stood rooted in his spot. Ren watched his Adam's apple bob up and down behind the collar of his uniform.  
"As you wish, Supreme Leader." He said neutrally.  
Without further ado, Kylo Ren left the conference room in lieu of his private quarters.  
He knew what he had to do.


	15. Chapter 14

In the privacy of his quarters, he let go of his façade.  
He returned to being Ben here. Hated that he did. Willing himself to remain detached, failing to do so.  
He was breathing harshly, torn apart by his own conflict.  
He had given his men permission to start a full-out war.  
 _As long as you insist on forcing your warped idea for the Galaxy upon innocent people, as long as you prefer to instill fear instead of respect, as long as you keep choosing the Dark Side over the Light or even over common decency, I have nothing to say to you.  
_ The words washed over him again and again.  
He swallowed back the anxiety and the bile rising in the back of his throat.  
Fear clouded his judgement. Worry for her, for her safety. Something else, something he didn't quite understand, that he knew but didn't know. Something he couldn't fight feeling, but refused to name.  
His desperation grew. She had to get out. He needed her to be safe.  
He reached out with his feelings, trying to connect with her.  
 _Rey.  
_ Barely a whisper, but he needed to get through to her.  
When he felt her mind resist, he simply pushed harder.  
 _Rey!_ He shouted out in their Bond, desperate to get her attention.  
When once again he felt her trying to ignore him, he decided to use another tactic.  
 _Rey, please listen to me!_ He took a deep breath.  
 _Get out as fast as you can. You have less than three hours to evacuate. You need to get out NOW!  
_ This earned him a response at last.  
He could feel it, the change in her demeanor. She seemed to allow a tiny crack in that wall she'd pulled up against him. Her anger and her disappointment washed over him, and he simply accepted it.  
 _You have some nerve to say that to me!_ She raged into their Bond. _This is your fault! You ordered the attack. You do not have the right to…  
Rey, please! _He interrupted her. A deep sigh trembled through their Bond, and he couldn't tell if it was his or hers.  
 _I know what I said and I know what I am doing. But we both know we can't deny this, Rey. We can't fight this Bond between us._ He continued in a soft voice. _  
Well, I can sure try!_ She spat out.  
 _Rey…_ he sounded weary. He was weary. She could feel it course through her own veins, he was sure of it. Just as her own apprehension and pain was flowing through his.  
 _Please?_ He begged her softly. _Listen to me and trust me on this. Get out now while you still can. If not for your own sake, then for that of those friends of yours…  
_ He realized he'd made a mistake when her fury wrapped itself around his ribs and seemed to squeeze all the air out of his lungs.  
 _I did trust you!_ Her words actually crackled because of her vehemence.  
 _Over and over and over, I trusted you. When everyone told me I was a fool for it, that I would come to regret it, I still trusted you. It was a mistake I won't make again.  
Rey, try to understand…  
No I will not try to understand! You made your choice. You chose war over peace. That puts us on opposite sides. I will not run away.  
_Ben sighed again and tried to reason with her once more.  
 _Rey, you need to evacuate. We will arrive in less than three hours and I can't risk you getting hurt!  
We? _She barreled through his head, her voice screaming, making his head hurt.  
 _You're coming with them? You'll actually take part in the attack?  
_ He wasn't going to try and explain why he was coming when it was clear to him she wouldn't listen anyway. She wouldn't accept that he was coming along to make sure Hux followed his orders and refrained from harming them.  
She was livid. Wave upon wave of white hot fury washed over him, threatening to take him under.  
His heart – or what was left of it after all these years of darkness - twisted painfully in his chest when he realized that it was over. To discover that despite his caution, he had allowed hope to blossom in his soul.  
 _If you come here to attack us, Kylo Ren, I swear I will fight you till my last breath.  
_ The sound of that name rolling off her tongue with such bitterness and hate stung.  
Had it only been a few hours ago that she had moaned his name, _his_ name in ecstasy?  
He lost his patience and his temper at the same time.  
 _With what? You don't even have a lightsaber anymore!  
_ Her angry growl reverberated in his chest, as if it was his own.  
 _I will fight you with my bare hands if I have to.  
Oh puh-lease… _he muttered. _I don't have time for this. I have to go._ He clipped.  
 _I'll be there soon. And you'd better be gone when I get there.  
_ Another burst of anger banged into him.  
 _Don't count on it!_ She bit back and then gave his presence a great big shove.  
He almost physically tumbled back from the strength of that push.  
Frustration clawed at him, and he roared with it. He thumbed his lightsaber to life and once again resorted to destroying his furniture and his walls.  
When he felt that some of his anger had abated, he turned it off and shoved a hand through his hair.  
He let out a deep, shuddering breath and made a decision then and there.  
Without further thought, he opened his closet and took out another one of his helmets.  
He briefly looked at it, remembering his reasons for wearing it before.  
Those reasons had changed, he had changed.  
But the fear that mask invoked had not…  
Determination strengthened his resolve and without hesitation he clicked it in place.  
He turned on his heel and left his quarters, heading for the hangar where he knew Hux to be waiting for him.  
A familiar voice sounded in his head, the memory of the man it belonged to causing his steps to falter…  
 _I have a bad feeling about this…_

Rey was left standing to the side of the hangar, gripping one of the crates with a white-knuckled grip and breathing heavily.  
She felt sick to the stomach and was trying really hard to return her breathing to normal.  
She squeezed her eyes shut and tried to ignore the pain that was wrecking her from the inside out.  
 _Why?_ Her mind screamed.  
She was careful to keep her guard up, but she could still feel him there, on the edge of her consciousness. Barely noticeable, but there nonetheless.  
Why would he do this? After what they had shared at Varykino, why would he do this? What kind of twisted plan was he concocting?  
Rage filled her again.  
 _Careful, Rey. Anger leads to the Dark Side…_  
Master Luke's voice rang in her head, his lessons flitting through her memory.  
She lifted her head, straightened herself and turned to inform Leia of the amount of time they had left.  
She noticed Poe standing a few feet away, watching her.  
The look in his eyes was making her feel uncomfortable.  
Gone was his usual friendly, open gaze. He was staring at her with a guarded, almost hostile look. Distrust dripped from his entire stance, his usually smiling mouth was drawn into a grim line.  
She frowned in response, feeling tension build in her stomach, making her nervous.  
"You okay?" he asked her. There was nothing seemingly out of the ordinary. But still, something was wrong.  
"Yeah, I'm fine. Just a little rattled."  
She watched as Poe's lips flattened in a thin line. He nodded once and quickly got on with whatever he had planned on doing.  
Her frown deepened as she tried to shake off this uneasy feeling. She hadn't taken more than five steps when she almost ran into Chewie.  
The Wookie looked her up and down and groaned at her, basically asking her the same question Poe had.  
"Yes, Chewie, I'm fine. We're in the middle of an evacuation. Why does everyone keep asking me that? And why are you looking at me like that?"  
The Wookie stepped a little closer and with softly murmured groans stared down at her. _You're wearing Ben's shirt._  
Her eyes almost bugged out at his words. Her mouth formed a perfect O.  
she opened and closed it several times.  
Chewie, sensing her many questions, just shrugged a shoulder and softly grumbled his response.  
 _"I've known him all his life. I was there when he was born. Took care of him as a kid. I'd know his scent anywhere."  
_ That made her clamp her mouth shut. She started breathing hard through her nose, nostrils flaring in irritation.  
Her reaction was not what Chewie had expected. He drew himself straighter, and growled in a low voice. " _Did he hurt you?"_  
Rey's eyes flew up to him. She saw nothing but concern and protectiveness in his hairy face.  
Chewie was the only one who really knew what had happened between her and Ben. What they had done. That they had teamed up against Snoke.  
Come to think of it, the Wookie had always had her back. He had protected her from Unkar Plutt at Maz's Cantina without a moment's hesitation… He had come to her rescue at Starkiller. He had taken her to Ahch-To. He had taken her to see Ben, even if he didn't agree with her decision. He had been there to pick her up afterwards.  
Suddenly overcome with love for this big lug, she shook her head and whispered that he hadn't. And before she could think twice, she hurled herself in Chewie's arms.  
The Wookie seemed to have anticipated her move, because her momentum didn't even cause him to wobble.  
He let out a series of grunts. _"Good. Cause I don't feel like tearing his arms off."  
_ Rey laughed at that.  
He looked at her and then softly told her in no uncertain terms that she should best take off the shirt before heading back in. Not everyone would be as supportive or understanding as him.  
Color rose in her cheeks and she ducked her head, but she readily agreed.  
She stepped inside the Falcon and quickly took off the shirt. She was about to leave, but something halted her. She looked back at her bunk, Ben's shirt tossed there carelessly.  
And her heart gave a little tug.  
She gathered it up and lifted it to her nose. She inhaled deeply and Ben's scent still clung to it.  
Spicy, slightly musky and that special thing that was entirely Ben's. Memories of his lips on hers, his hands on her skin, rushed back with vivid clarity.  
She choked back a sob and squeezed her eyes shut. She willed herself not to cry.  
Ben was gone. Replaced by Kylo Ren. She would do well to remember that. She would only get hurt if she held out hope.  
Still, she couldn't bring herself to put the shirt down.  
She tucked it inside her vest, strangely fortified that she had been able to take something, _anything_!, that belonged to him. It seemed only fitting when she had left behind so much.  
Taking a deep breath, she turned and quickly went to find Leia.  
The entire Base was in a frenzy. Several ships were already starting to take off.  
The General had never been one to stand by idly while others did all the work. She was first and foremost a hands-on type of leader. She was busy hauling crates and equipment around, directing anyone around her, telling them to hurry and get away as fast as they could.  
When she saw Rey appear, she excused herself.  
"Well?" she asked brusquely, without preamble.  
"They'll be here in less than three standard hours."  
Resignation flashed in the older woman's eyes. Steely resolve straightened her back, adding several inches to her hunched over form.  
The woman was tired. Worn out. Weary.  
She let out a sigh and despite the fact Rey knew this tough little lady seemed strong enough to carry the world on her slim shoulders, she could feel the weight of her heartache weigh her down.  
"Then we need to keep moving."  
Rey nodded and started to turn away, when Leia's hand touched her arm.  
"Rey…" she started softly. She halted and smiled sadly when Rey frowned at her.  
"Sweetheart, I have a strange feeling about this. All of this." She kept her voice down, and with the chaos around them, she was pretty sure no one was paying them any attention anyway.  
"There is more to it than we think." She studied Rey's face intently. "He told you about their plans." She said. Rey simply nodded.  
"My son may be many things, and Han and I made a lot of mistakes, but we didn't raise a liar." She stated dryly. Her chin lifted and Rey could see that it was pride.  
She grudgingly admitted to it. "That's true. He's never lied to me before."  
"Which means that he has ulterior motives for telling us. For trying to get us out of here."  
Rey saw the tiniest flicker of hope in the older woman's eyes. For a split second, she looked years younger and her appearance truly was that of royalty. Those sharp eyes once again studied Rey with agonizing scrutiny. A huge smile lit her face. She nodded once.  
"When you see my son…" she started, her smile turning sad once more. She took a deep breath and carried on in a stronger voice "When you see my son, tell him I love him. That I always have, and always will. And nothing will ever change that. Despite all he has done, he is still the light of my life."  
Rey grew restless, standing there on that command bridge, with everyone around her buzzing like bees.  
She had a niggling feeling, a premonition almost. Unease filled her at hearing Leia's words.  
"Well, General Organa," she said with every ounce of conviction she could muster, "you can tell him yourself when you see him, because there is no way that I am ever wasting my breath on the likes of him again."  
Rey couldn't help the bitterness and hurt from seeping into her tone.  
Leia's smile turned amused in the blink of an eye. Rey could hear her "yeah right" hanging in the air.  
"Sweetheart, I've been there and done that. It's what Solo-men do. They drive you crazy."  
She chuckled, the sound felt strange and inappropriate considering their current circumstances.  
"You love him too." Another thoughtful gaze. "Maybe even more than I loved my Han."  
A whistful expression clouded those wise dark eyes that resembled her son's so much.  
Rey opened her mouth to protest, but was quickly cut off by Leia.  
"I expect you to tell him what I said." She said with authority, picking up her role as Leader of the Resistance again.  
"Promise me, Rey." She said, her eyes glinting hard. "Promise me you'll tell him what I said when you see him and the time is right."  
Everything in Rey screamed to rebel. She wanted to cry out, to lash out, to tell Leia she could tell him herself, because if _she_ ever saw that man again, she would just as soon kill him.  
But there was something that kept her from doing so.  
A chill ran up and down her spine and she heard a faint whisper around her. Unrecognizable words, but a feeling rather. Foreboding. The Force was telling her to pay attention.  
Grudgingly, she nodded.  
"Yes, General."  
"Good. Now, let's continue with our evacuation. We're wasting time." 


	16. Chapter 15

Good time was made.  
They had just sent away a handful of ships already, loaded with equipment and volunteers.  
They could still be seen just inside the sphere, not yet jumping to hyperspace.  
Just one more shuttle to go, their shuttle, and the evacuation would be complete.  
It was down to the "core" now, as Rey liked to call it.  
General Organa, Poe, Finn, Chewie, Rose, Connix, C'ail and the droids. A handful of the newbies that recently joined them. They were trying to get the last of the equipment on board before taking off.  
As they were hoisting one of the hologram projectors up the ramp, the first Star Destroyers appeared from hyperspace.  
In the blink of an eye, there were seven looming over them, casting long shadows and bringing darkness with them.  
Rey and Leia both had a premonition simultaneously. Leia shouted and Rey barely had enough time to pull Poe away from the shuttle with the Force before a blast of gunfire hit it.  
The craft exploded, the backdraft pushing them to the ground.  
Their only way off the planet had just been obliterated before their eyes.  
Finn and Poe shared a look, both fierce and despaired.  
They did not have long to ponder the hopelessness of their current situation.  
Several shuttles ejected from the Star Destroyers, shuttles that undoubtedly held several squadrons of Storm Troopers.  
Fire was opened on the Resistance shuttles, easily taking them out one by one.  
Horrified by the sight of their small, struggling fleet being picked off, the remaining Rebels only grew more determined. They would probably not survive this final attack, but at least they would go down with a fight!  
Grabbing their blasters and basically any weapon they could get their hands on, they assumed positions.  
As the First Order shuttles touched down, their ramps lowering on Dantooine soil, squadron after squadron of Storm Troopers emerged.  
They immediately launched into gunfire, blasters going off on either side of the conflict.  
The sound of roaring engines, the acrid scent of the burning shuttle, the flashes of laserguns going off…  
It was both surreal and impressive.  
The Resistance Fighters were able to pick off more than a fair amount of Storm Troopers, valiantly struggling to hold their own.  
Orders were shouted on both sides. Screams could be heard, bloodcurling screams that were distorted through the sound of their helmets.  
Several Fighters, new to the Resistance and not yet trained to fight, also lost their lives.  
Poe let out a low growl, Finn gave a fierce battle cry, both men firing their blasters and taking down one Storm Trooper after another.  
Rose managed to take out a few more, Leia continuously fired without hesitation or relent.  
Rey refused to give in to her despair and tried to fight the overpowering desire to give in to the Dark Side, to give in to this all-consuming anger.  
Things were escalating quickly.  
The pace with which blasts were fired increased, more victims fell on both sides.  
Chewie was able to do some serious damage with his bowcaster. Finn and Poe were firing away in a rhythm that would have been almost poetic if their situation hadn't been so dire.  
Lieutenant Connix went down, shot in both the thigh and shoulder. Rose was at her side in a heartbeat, trying to stop the bleading and stabilize her. C'ail was killed by a single shot between the eyes. Another fighter, by the name of Emsil, got caught in some crossfire and she too was wounded. A blasterbolt had hit her in the stomach.  
The remainder of the Resistance Fighters were suddenly and briefly distracted by the sight of a familiar shuttle approaching fast.  
Rey felt despair claw at her heart, a feeling of foreboding crawling into her soul. She felt Ben's presence, but he was blocking her just as effectively as she was blocking him. No doubt, that was a good thing considering the current battle.  
But their Bond trembled with their nearness, unable to deny or to ignore.  
Finn and Poe felt their anger increase, the need for retaliation overriding all else.  
Rose was obviously daunted, but not easily backed down. Her efforts to fight off their enemy and to take care of the injured remained her first objective.  
Kylo Ren's Command Shuttle touched down, its ramp lowering even before fully landed.  
Leia, sensing her son physically closer than she had for years, reacted out of instinct.  
And sure enough, the figure of her son slowly but surely emerged from its black interior.  
She stood up and lowered her weapon for the briefest of moments, softly whispering.  
"Ben…"  
In that brief moment, time seemed to slow down to a halt.  
Kylo Ren, in his full glory, wearing his dark robes, cloak and mask firmly in place, seemed to hear her whisper as if she had shouted out to him. His head whipped around and stared right in their direction.  
Right at that exact moment, a blaster bolt ricocheted off a nearby casing, hitting Leia straight in the chest.  
Rey saw it happen, but was unable to stop it. A scream was wrenched from her lungs.  
"No!" she cried out, dropping her blaster and moving towards her.  
Poe, who had been standing next to her, noticed it.  
He too let out a cry of disbelief, almost catching her as Leia went down.  
Chewie let out a howl, exactly the same as he had when Han had been killed.  
Finn, Rose and the few others that had been standing their ground froze in their tracks.  
And then they ALL froze in their tracks.  
Everything halted.  
The Storm Troopers ceased fire. Even the wind had stopped blowing, the flames from the burning shuttle didn't flicker.  
Deafening silence ensued.  
Rey couldn't breathe as she was overcome with an obliterating pain.  
Her head was filled with frantic screams. From her friends, her own.  
But the most frantic one was that of the man standing motionless on the battlefield across from her.  
Physical pain racked through her, washing over her in waves. But that wasn't hers either  
She was frozen in place by the Force, as were the others.  
Leia was lying on the ground, Poe frozen halfway down while trying to catch her.  
She felt the need to run to Leia's side, but recognized it wasn't her own.  
Still, she watched as in horrified slow-motion the figure of Kylo Ren – not Ben! – seemed to walk the distance across the battlefield.  
Leia was still holding on, fighting for her life.  
Suddenly, there he was, appearing in front of them.  
In that moment, he seemed larger than life and yet…  
So much pain flowed from him. So much anguish.  
Rey had trouble keeping her sanity, had to fight to keep her mind her own.  
"Ben…" Leia muttered as she reached out for him.  
The man cloaked in black seemed to be in total control on the outside.  
But Rey knew better.  
Slowly, he knelt down at Leia's side.  
"The mask…" she croaked, and her breathing labored.  
Rey felt only the briefest flit of hesitation, but his hands went up and unlocked the helmet, removing it. His face was stoic, not a single emotion showing.  
Leia smiled.  
"My boy…"  
Her hand touched his and she was struggling to hang on.  
"I…" she started, her breathing coming in short bursts and her voice grew even hoarser.  
"I… love… you." She pushed the words out painfully, but her eyes were soft, misted with unshed tears.  
Everyone watched powerlessly as they saw Leia draw one final deep breath.  
"Ben…. Light.. Come… back…"  
Just like that, her last breath left her in a soft sigh and the light in Leia's eyes faded.  
And then there was nothing but silence.


	17. Chapter 16

Rey watched helplessly as the light went out of Leia's eyes.  
Felt her passing tear her soul apart, punctuated by the tremor in the Force.  
Pain engulfed her, both emotional and physical.  
She opened her mouth to scream, but no sound came.  
She could not move and could not speak. None of them could. Only a few grunts and slight groans broke the all-encompassing silence.  
Everything and everyone was frozen on the spot. Even the droids.  
It was a surreal sensation, far stronger than anything else she had ever experienced.  
Well, except for Varykino… But that been an assault on her senses of a different kind.  
She had been frozen in place by him before, on Takodana.  
But that was nothing compared to now. The only thing she could move now was her mind. And said mind was going at a thousand miles a minute.  
Not a single emotion could be detected on Kylo Ren's face.  
A stoic mask, indifferent, beautiful in its cruel detachment. Just like he had seemed that day on the Supremacy, when she had gone to see him and he had taken her to Snoke. He had seemed ruthless and completely insensitive and oblivious to anything around him but obeying his master.  
He looked like that again. Like a statue, like a beacon of the Darkness.  
Like a Supreme Leader of the First Order.  
No one would be the wiser.  
 _Except for me_. She thought.  
He was broken inside. He was blocking her, and she was glad that he did. If he wasn't, she would be crippled by them, she suspected. He tried to reign in his pain and anger and despair, but his feelings poured into her nonetheless.  
They were slowly suffocating her, shattering the very last pieces of her heart.  
And at the edge of her mind, another emotion rose. Something she had not felt for him in months.  
Not since she had been able to turn his own tricks against him, after that she had been strengthened, sensing her own powers. She had fought him and won. Inexperienced as she had been. But now…  
 _Fear._  
She was afraid.  
The amount of power he showed in this single moment far surpassed anything she had ever witnessed.  
She knew she was strong with the Force. She had felt it growing steadily within her with every passing day. She had started considering herself his equal.  
But this….  
This was anger and pain and Darkness at its purest. This was unprecedented.  
This was even more than what she imagined Snoke would have been able to do.  
She watched in horror as he slowly stood, raking his eyes over Leia once more. He almost nonchalantly waved his hand slightly, almost as if he were bored, unfreezing the Storm Troopers behind him.  
They were smart enough to stay were they were and keep quiet.  
He motioned a few of them closer.  
"Take General Organa's body and put it in my Shuttle. Make sure it remains unharmed. Take the rest on board. Have the med-droids tend to anything life-threatening. Burn the rest of their base down." With a menacing look at their group, he finished with in a decidedly bored voice. "Take special care with the Jedi. I know what she's capable of." Looking her in the eye, she felt goosebumps rise at the ice in his gaze.  
"We're done here."  
With that, he turned on his heel and headed for his shuttle. He didn't look back. Simply strode away with confident steps that ate away the distance to his ship.  
The Troopers rushed to their group and made quick work of clipping them with restraints. They were none too gentle, but it barely registered.  
Two Troopers went down and gently picked up Leia's body, careful and what seemed with respect.  
Who knew Troopers would act that way? Then again, Finn had been a Storm Trooper once…  
They quickly followed the Supreme leader to his Commander Shuttle, taking care walking up the ramp.  
Rey was functioning on autopilot.  
Leia was dead. The Resistance had been destroyed except for one small shuttle that had gotten away. All the others had been shot down.  
So many of their group had been wounded or killed. The rest of them, barely a handful, had been captured. Their future was uncertain at best.  
They had lost.  
 _We're done here.  
_ His words kept droning through her head over and over again.  
Suddenly without warning, the Forcehold was released. It took every ounce of her strength not to let her legs buckle and hit the ground.  
As the Troopers – she had SIX of them escorting her no less! – shoved her into motion, all she felt was the memory of ice in his eyes stealing over her entire body.  
 _We're done here._  
The words sliced through her, maiming her in ways she had never thought possible.  
Only a few hours ago, she had stared into those same eyes filled with fire and heat.  
More memories flashed before her mind's eye.  
 _Don't be afraid. I feel it too._  
The gentle pull she had felt when he had murmured to her during the interrogation.  
 _We're not done yet. It's just us now.  
_ Starkiller. Despite her anger and hate, his words had stirred something in her, deep and unsettling.  
 _You need a teacher!  
_ His confidence and his insistence that he could teach her about the Force and how she had felt him guide her in that moment.  
 _Can you see my surroundings? I can't see yours. Just you…_ _So no, this is something else._  
The discovery of their Bond.  
 _You're not alone.  
_ After her ForceVision, when she had felt more alone than ever before, he had been with her. Stayed with her. Listened to her. Comforted her. _Understood_ her.  
 _I know what I have to do….  
_ When he chose her over Snoke.  
 _You have no place in this story, you come from nothing, you're nothing. But not to me. Join me. Please?  
_ The Supremacy Throne Room.  
The fevered whispers while he was making love to her rang in her head.  
 _Don't go. Not yet. We have a little more time.  
_ A last final attempt to keep her with him… _  
_The memories kept flashing before her eyes and she squeezed them shut, trying in vain to stop her train of thoughts.  
His pain washed over her again in a new wave of despair that he could not hide or keep behind the barriers of his mind. It spilled into their Bond.  
She barely noticed the tears streaming down her cheeks as they led her up the ramp of the Trooper shuttle.  
Her eyes searched the crowd, saw and recognized her friends. Every single one of them was taken in a different shuttle, separated from each other.  
As the ramp went up, the dark and dim interior was only lit by a few overhead lights.  
The shuttle was soon lifted into the air, and within less than a minute, they took off into hyperspace, heading back to the Finalizer.  
She felt herself overcome with despair, loneliness and failure, and Leia's loss hit her full force.  
She sagged down on the floor of the shuttle and bawled her eyes out.  
The Troopers simply watched. 

Kylo Ren boarded his Command Shuttle. Once inside, he waited for the Storm Troopers to carry the body of General Organa on board. When they appeared at the entrance, he told them to put her in his private quarters. They proceeded without question. He stood by motionless as they placed her on the narrow bunk and left. He entered the small room and closed the door.  
 _Mom.  
_ In the privacy of this tiny room, he could briefly abdicate his pretense.  
The entire scene played out before him again.  
 _His shuttle was touching ground. The ramp had barely lowered to the ground or he was already stepping down.  
He sensed her the moment the ship had broken the atmosphere, and her presence slammed into him the instant his feet touched the soil.  
Ben.  
He had heard her whisper as if it had been shouted at the top of her lungs.  
And he hadn't expected the rush of warmth that filled his soul. He felt her affection and her happiness at seeing him crash into him, leaving him stunned.  
His head whipped around, his eyes finding hers with ease.  
What happened next was nothing short of a nightmare.  
He witnessed a blasterbolt ricochet off a nearby crate. He was too late to stop it with the Force.  
It hit her right in the chest. He felt it as if it had slammed into him. His mind screeched to a halt, his heart seemed to lurch out of his ribcage and a frantic cry got stuck in his throat. He wanted to scream "Nooooo!". He couldn't even utter a single sound.  
His shock reverberated off of him, causing a massive reaction. He created a giant ForceHold, unprecedented in history. Everything and everyone around him froze in their tracks. Blaster bolts hung midair, Troopers and Resistance Fighters alike stood motionless like statues. No sounds could be heard, the silence was deafening, not even the wind stirred. Only Leia and him seemed to be able to move, as if the world did not exist except for the two of them.  
He watched as she crumpled to the ground and felt the need to run to her as fast as he could.  
His body had a mind of its own, it seemed, for his feet moved slowly and calmly.  
She's dying! She's not gonna survive!  
Desperation and anguish clouded his judgment. He needed to keep himself in check. He was losing his mind. He tried frantically to keep a leash on his emotions when she spoke.  
"Ben…" Leia muttered as she reached out for him.  
He walked up to her and kneeled next to her.  
"The mask…" she croaked, and her breathing labored.  
He felt the briefest flit of hesitation, but his hands went up and unlocked the helmet, removing it. What would she see when she looked at him? Would she see the monster he had become? Would she see this overwhelming Darkness that had haunted him for so long? He was no longer the boy she had brought into this galaxy, his innocence long gone. In that moment, he felt shame.  
The thought of her disappointment, of causing her such pain in her last moments was more than he could take. He remembered Snoke's training. He closed himself off, exerting himself to become insensitive. His face was stoic, not a single emotion showing.  
Leia smiled.  
"My boy…"  
His surprise was genuine, his heart clenching painfully.  
Mom…  
He communicated with her in that special way they had always been able to. Not unlike his Forcebond with Rey, but softer, subtler, just a flow of words.  
His face remained a hard mask.  
Her hand touched his and she was struggling to hang on.  
"I…" she started, her breathing coming in short bursts and her voice grew even hoarser.  
"I… love… you." She pushed the words out painfully, but her eyes were soft, misted with unshed tears.  
He felt his world crashing down in that moment. Her words cut through him, sharper and more violent than any torture he had ever experienced.  
I… love… you too… Mom.  
Even thinking it sounded rusty. But he was shocked that he meant it. He loved her.  
Leia gave him an almost imperceivable little nod, acknowledging that she had heard him.  
She draw one final deep breath and he watched helplessly as she struggled to hang on just a little longer.  
"Ben…. Light.. Come… back…"  
Just like that, her last breath left her in a soft sigh and the light in Leia's eyes – so much like his own- faded.  
And then there was nothing but silence.  
Her hand was still touching his, warm and gentle.  
His heart stopped and then returned it's beating with a vengeance. His blood was rushing through his veins, the sound of it thundering in his ears.  
Everyone was watching him. Both sides eyeing his every move. He needed to keep his dignity.  
He continued to school his features into a display of indifference, when inside he felt as if he had died with her.  
He slowly stood and looked down at this amazing woman. A woman who had given birth to him. A woman who had always tried to understand him, but had felt stronger obligations to the Rebel cause than to her child. All of his memories of her were warm and loving and infinitely tender, except for the ones that were linked to his parents' decision to send him to Luke's academy. A strong warrior, a leader, a woman to look up to, to revere. A woman to love…  
A muscle ticked in his jaw, and he felt his resolve grow.  
A small gesture of his hand unfroze the First Order side of the battlefield. The Troopers were smart enough to keep their distance unless called upon.  
He motioned a few closer and barked out his orders.  
"Take General Organa's body and put it in my Shuttle. Make sure it remains unharmed. Take the rest on board. Have the med-droids tend to anything life-threatening. Burn the rest of their base down."  
He looked around at this group of Rebel Scum, felt his rage peak when his gaze landed on the Traitor. It became a raging inferno when he saw Poe Dameron standing near Leia, hunched over as if to catch her as she fell. Years of pent-up anger towards this man reached a boiling point, but he kept it down by sheer strength of will.  
His eyes found Rey's, and she stared back at him with a mixture of fear, pain and remorse. And something else…  
Compassion.  
The feeling of utter betrayal washed over him, wrenching his insides like an old rag, spiking his fury.  
With a menacing look at their group, he decided that he would not be trifled with. In a decidedly bored voice he addressed his Troopers.  
"Take special care with the Jedi. I know what she's capable of."  
His eyes bored into hers, injecting his gaze with as much ice as he could. He would make her pay for this. He knew her intimately. Knew how to make her hurt. He needed to lash out.  
He spoke with finality.  
"We're done here."_  
Now he stood in his quarters, looking down at his mother's body.  
He remembered the look in Rey's eyes as he had said those words. Had seen the effect. They had wounded her, just as he had wanted them to.  
But standing here, in the privacy of this little room, with his mother's still form in front of him, he needed to be honest. Here, now, he could be Ben Solo again.  
And he could admit to himself he hadn't meant them. Not really. Deep inside, he knew and felt that he would never be done with Rey. No matter how hard he tried.  
No matter how lost he would get in the Dark Side, he would still be drawn to her. She would still be his weakness. That fact scared him.  
He shouldn't be thinking about this now.  
He needed to close himself off. He needed to make plans. He needed a course of action.  
As soon as they would arrive back on the Finalizer, he would start by arranging a grand funeral for Leia. Out of respect for the woman she was. Because she was royalty. Because of her prominent place in the Senate when she was younger. Because she was the leader of the Resistance.  
But most of all because she was his mother. Although few people knew that fact.  
His mind raced in all directions, whirling like a tornado.  
But like any tornado, there was a silence in the eye of the storm.  
He found his as he walked closer to Leia and touched her hand.  
Even now, her warmth remained. He took a closer look at her face. She looked beautiful and peaceful. She had more lines in her face. Around her mouth and eyes, deep grooves could be seen, probably etched there through great sadness. But they were curved in the slightest smile. More silver threads could be seen in her hair, a lot more than when he had last seen her.  
A soft sad smile graced his own lips.  
She changed her hair.  
It was different. A mourning braid graced her crown, complying with old Alderanian custom. But it was pretty. It suited her.  
Guilt racked him as he realized why she wore it and that he was the cause of it.  
He gave in to his feelings then, leaning forward and kissing his mother's stern, the gesture reminiscent of when he was a little boy.  
He closed his eyes, feeling a tear slip down his cheek. It trailed down his scar, down the mark that branded him as Rey's, and it fell on Leia's face.  
"I'm sorry, Mom." He whispered. "Forgive me."  
He stepped back and sat down in the chair next to the bunk, keeping vigilance at his mother's side. 


	18. Chapter 17

The flight seemed to go on forever, even if it took less than three hours to return to the Finalizer.  
The remaining Rebels were roughly pushed out of the shuttles into the brightly lit hangar.  
The light blinded them briefly, but no one cared.  
Finn felt a chill creep up his spine at once again standing here, in this place.  
Memories flooded him.  
Very few of them good. But things were different now. He was on the other side. He had gotten away. He was free to do his own thing and follow his own orders. He had friends. A family, not by blood but by choice.  
His resolve got stronger.  
He was Rebel Scum! This fight still was not over. Not as long as he drew breath. Not as long as his heart beat in his chest.  
He stood a little taller, lifted his chin in defiance. He glanced over at Poe, a determined glint in his eye and a challenge to stand up and fight till the very last.  
Poe took his cue and mimicked his stance. Soon Rose, Connix and Emsil did the same.  
Chewie seemed to be in too much of a shock. He simply followed the Storm Trooper's directions. Not a single groan in protest or outrage left his lips.  
Rey was even worse for wear. She seemed downright lethargic.  
She had cried until she had no more tears to cry. Even long after that she continued sobbing.  
Now she was just spent.  
The Storm Troopers, all six of them, remained nearby, closing her in on all side.  
 _As if I had anywhere to run to...  
_ They shoved her around, and all she could do was shuffle along with them.  
She just didn't care anymore.  
Leia was gone. Their Base was destroyed. Most of their troops – or rather what they had managed to rebuild after Crait – were dead. And Ben… Ben was lost to her. That much was apparent.  
Her throat burned painfully, and it felt like a big ball of raw pain was stuck midway. Her heart thudded painfully. There was nothing left.  
Tears she hadn't known she still had, filled her eyes. They spilled over and she hung her head in defeat.  
Several officers walked up to the Command Shuttle, one of them pushing a gurney.  
A tiny prickle at the back of her neck and the sense of her heart shifting made her look up.  
Kylo Ren, emerged from the bowels of the Command Shuttle, his mask once again firmly in place.  
He looked regal and poised and detached.  
He looked like… Kylo Ren. Supreme Leader.  
Despair flitted through her, her heart almost literally squeezing together quite painfully at the realization that her Ben was gone.  
 _He's gone. My Ben is lost…_  
In that instant, his head snapped around in her direction.  
Even despite the black visor, she could feel his scorching gaze. He held her eyes for a few moments.  
Whether they passed quickly or lasted forever, she couldn't say. They just stared at each other.  
She knew he must have heard her. Or sensed her emotions.  
Either way, she was too wrought out to put up defenses as he seemed to look into her mind from this distance. A soft prodding sensation moved through her head. She just blinked up at him, fatigue taking over.  
 _When was the last time I slept well?_ She asked herself in confusion, not really knowing the answer.  
The slight, gentle pressure in her head abated and Kylo Ren averted his gaze again.  
 _What had he been looking for?_  
The remaining Rebels made a collective noise of misery as they watched two Storm Troopers carry General Organa's body from the Command Shuttle.  
She too, turned her head and watched in absolute misery.  
 _Leia…_  
They gently put her down on the gurney, heeding their Supreme Leader's order that no harm was to come to her.  
The Supreme Leader approached General Hux, who was practically beaming with pride.  
The little weasel was gloating at the way things were unfolding.  
Finn's eyes narrowed and his mouth curled in distaste.  
Hux looked at them with a similar expression, except that he seemed very pleased with himself.  
And truth be told, he probably had his reasons. He had achieved everything he had set out to achieve with this attack.  
The Resistance was all but annihilated. Their leader was dead. The remaining core was dead or captured. Their Base destroyed. As was their precious hope.  
From Hux's point of view, life was looking up.  
The Storm Troopers came up behind Kylo Ren, tagging the prisoners along.  
Hux gave them all a thorough once over, his gaze lingering briefly on Rey.  
He could see why the Supreme Leader was so taken by her.  
Despite the obvious filth clinging to her, she would clean up nice.  
Dark hair, hazel eyes, sunkissed skin, a splattering of freckles across her nose.  
 _Very nice indeed_.  
A small leeching smile played at the corners of his mouth. He wouldn't mind teaching this desert rat a thing or two. Her spirit was already mostly broken. Just one little push and she'd be as complying as any faithful Trooper.  
He wouldn't mind being the one to show her her place… To whip her further into obedience…  
When his mind trailed off, he ordered himself to stay focused.  
"Supreme Leader, I see everything has gone according to plan." He started smugly.  
He was about to say more when he was brought up short.  
"Has it, General? Has it really? Because I distinctly remember giving my orders that they were to remain unharmed." His voice sounded menacing through his mask, it's electronic hiss sounding pure evil and malice.  
"And yet, General Organa is dead." He stepped closer to Hux and stared him down.  
"This poses a great hindrance to my plans, General Hux. I expect you to find out who is responsible for her death and take the necessary measures."  
Hux did not cower, but it was obvious to everyone watching that he felt uncomfortable being put on the spot like that.  
With a sick little smile and a modest inclination of his head, he replied: "Of course, Supreme Leader."  
Kylo Ren had had enough of standing about.  
"I suggest you start preparing for a State Funeral, General. Have General Organa's body placed in the quarters adjoining to mine and prepared for burial. Keep it under tight security. Schedule a meeting in two standard hours so that I can relay my plans and to discuss the necessary details. Be sure that our prisoners are taken to their cells. Make them as comfortable as you can. See that they are cleaned up, fed and tended to by the med-droids. We need them in prime condition."  
He didn't wait for Hux to respond, simply lit off for his private quarters, leaving Hux staring after him in mild confusion.  
Rey could feel apprehension creep into her bones.  
What was he up to?  
She did not have long to ponder the matter. The Storm Troopers had been given their orders and they pushed them roughly into motion. They were taken to the upstairs cells. Those reserved for VIP's – Very Important Prisoners, with their maximized security systems and closely monitored, slightly more luxurious cells.  
They had real beds instead of flat metal slabs. A table and chair. A separate toilet. A small fresher. A window to stare out into space. Quite a different take from the cells down below, which were barren and Spartan.  
They were all given a set of clean uniforms with instructions to clean themselves up, except for Chewie. Instead they simply gave the Wookie a brush. If she wasn't so sad, it would have made her giggle.  
As it was, she failed to see the humor.  
Rey was the last in line.  
She watched as each of her friends were pushed inside a cell. Poe and Finn were defiant, and she witnessed how one of the Storm Troopers stomped on the back of Finn's knee. He went down, crying out in pain and anger and they just threw him inside. Poe too, received his share of brutality. His own defiance was rewarded with a blow to the chin.  
When it was her time, they did not shove her in so violently. They didn't have to. She clutched the uniform to her chest and simply walked inside.  
The metal door closed with a bang.  
The silence that ensued was deafening.  
She sat down and broke down in another bout of tears. 

He headed straight for the training facilities.  
Every cell in his body cried out for release. To be able to rid itself of these emotions, toxic feelings that were eating him alive.  
Upon his arrival, a team of Troopers were practicing close combat techniques.  
A low and menacing "Get out" had the effect he wanted. The Storm Troopers and their Captain quickly exited the room, leaving him to his privacy.  
As he dressed down to wearing nothing but his trousers, he told the supervisor to keep the Holo's coming for a solid hour, and to get the Hell out, to leave him.  
The poor man was shaking so badly, he almost tripped over his own feet in his haste to leave.  
Kylo stood in the middle of the Dojo, took a deep breath and thumbed his lightsaber to life.  
He closed his eyes and allowed the Force to guide him, called upon the Darkness to focus his energy and anger. He felt the rage bubble up inside of him, his pain and anguish on its heel, and it wasn't long before he sensed the first hologram.  
With tremendous ease, he mowed it down, the blue sheen flickering before disappearing again.  
Two more popped up to his right, one to his left. They too were taken down without so much as an effort.  
The holo's kept coming, just as he had instructed the supervisor.  
He felt his anger and his rage and his pain combine in strength and resolve and he worked his way through those blue shimmering ghostlike holo's.  
He broke into a sweat, his chest glistening, hair sticking to his cheeks and forehead.  
Stroke after vicious stroke, he landed vicious blows with more force than was necessary.  
The beep indicating that the training simulation was over sounded, breaking him from his trance.  
He was breathing hard and sweating profusely. He was exhausted.  
And still…  
Still the pain and remorse and guilt was crippling.  
Still he kept hearing Leia's voice in his head. Kept hearing her words bounce of the emptiness in his chest.  
 _My boy… I… love… you. Ben…. Light.. Come… back…  
_ The warmth in her eyes, the tenderness. The happiness she felt to see him. _  
_The onslaught of his emotions was so overwhelming he closed his eyes to shut it out.  
Leia's voice slowly trailed off. Only to be replaced with another voice.  
 _No, it's not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you.  
_ Han's face swam before his eyes. Guilt combined with despair. He would _not_ go there.  
Han's subject was even more complicated than Leia's was. He pushed his fingers into his eyes, trying in vain to drive out those memories.  
But his mind would not listen. _  
He's gone. My Ben is lost…_  
Rey.  
 _My Rey._  
Beautiful, spirited, strong, powerful, stubborn cuss of a girl. She drove him mad.  
When he had heard her words like whispers through their Bond, he had trouble remaining upright.  
"My Ben" she had called him.  
 _Just like she had whispered when I made love to her…_  
He had been unable to contain his reaction. He had almost fallen to his knees when he whipped his head around and saw her.  
She was a shell of what she had been a few hours ago.  
Her eyes were puffy and red. That luscious mouth, those beautiful plump lips that tasted sweeter than honey, was turned down. Those beautiful hazel eyes, that had managed to capture his attention so easily, were dull and no longer held any of it's usual mischievous sparkle.  
And he hated it. Hated that this beautiful woman had lost her shine.  
Again, another tsunami-wave of anger and anguish and hurt washed over him.  
He let out a fierce shout and lashed out at anything within range of his lightsaber.  
Thrust after thrust after thrust hit its mark.  
Walls and floors and even training equipment got destroyed, reduced to nothing but smoldering molten clomps of wood and metal and fabric.  
When that final wave of frustration ebbed away at last, he took a deap, heaving breath.  
He thumbed his lightsaber absently, the weapon's red blade retracting instantly.  
Chest still heaving, he pulled on his tunic and grabbed the rest of his things. He pushed the door to the training room open and stalked to his private quarters with large, intimidating steps.  
Once there, he continued in the direction of his fresher without hesitation.  
On his way, he disrobed again, allowing the garments to land wherever they fell, foregoing his usual tidiness for the second time.  
He stepped into the fresher and allowed the lukewarm water to pelt his tired, heated skin.  
He pushed his head under the stream, pointedly ignoring the tears that ran down his cheeks and mingled with the rays of water. A devastated sob wrenched from his lungs, drowned by the sound of the rush of water.  
He needed to keep it together. He had a meeting with Hux in twenty minutes.  
He couldn't afford to let the man see his misery like this.  
He didn't trust him.  
The gingerhaired jackass was up to something. He could feel it.  
He needed all of his focus to stay one step ahead. To keep his guard up. To stay sharp.  
He needed to keep his wits about him, or he would end up paying the price of his distraction with his life.  
He got out of the fresher and quickly toweled himself dry.  
Donning another set of his clothes, he meditated.  
And as he got ready for his meeting with Hux, he felt his equilibrium return. He became centered again.  
Looking at his reflection in the mirror, he wished he saw what he wanted to show the world.  
Instead, all he saw staring back at him, were his mother's eyes, set in his father's face and the lost expression of a scavenger girl…


	19. Chapter 18

Kylo Ren arrived at the conference room on the dot.  
Hux and his Admirals and Commanders were already seated. They stood when he entered the room.  
"Good afternoon, Surpreme Leader." They said in unison.  
He nodded and motioned them to take a seat.  
He walked up to the head of the table, where his more luxurious chair was. He lowered himself and glared at this assembly before him.  
He needed to be calm and collected. Needed to be in tune with the Force, so that he could detect any doubt and negativity within this leadership. He couldn't afford to have them question his authority. He needed to be at his strongest. Or at least pretend to be.  
"Gentlemen," he started in an authoritive voice, "today's mission was a success."  
He let his gaze roam over them, hard and unyielding and terrifying. He felt a twisted little pleasure bolt course through him as he watched them squirm.  
"The hidden location of the Resistance was found. Our attack lead to the annihilation of all but a few fighters and Commanders. We managed to capture the remaining leadership. And the Jedi. The Galaxy's last shred of hope was destroyed. Our reign will be undisputed hence forth."  
He took a breath and a muscle in his jaw ticked. The corners of his mouth turned down and the look in his eyes grew even colder.  
"However…" he started, his tone cold as ice. "I had given clear instructions before our departure. They were not followed."  
His features twisted into a vicious mask of fury.  
"General Organa was killed during our offense." His voice trembled with suppressed rage.  
 _They killed my mother!_  
The room began to tremble with his anger, compounding the fear in his leaderships eyes. Only Hux seemed to remain his cool demeanor. Then again, Hux had been through a lot more at his hands. A little shaking around the room probably didn't faze him anymore.  
"Despite my specific order, the General was wounded and died from her injuries."  
He veered upright from his chair and slammed his hand down on the conference table. His voice boomed through the silence, reverberating off the walls. Fire burned in his eyes and the need for vengeance, to make someone pay, throbbed in his veins.  
"I cannot even begin to disclose how disturbing this is to my original plans. Needless to say, there will be a price to pay, and heads will roll."  
One young man was suddenly lifted out of his chair. Every other officer turned and looked in horror as his feet hovered two feet off the floor.  
"Commander Loopin," Kylo Ren spoke forcefully, "It has come to my attention that it was a Storm Trooper in your designated Squad who was responsible for the death of the General." His eyes turned ice cold. The young man wanted to say something in reply, but Kylo didn't even wait for a response.  
A loud snap was heard and the young man's body hung limp in the air, then fell down with a sickening thud.  
Across the table, a sudden gurgling sound was heard. Everyone whirled their heads in this new direction, stunned into silence at this display of violence, of this display of the power of the Force.  
"Admiral Tennbrel," Kylo Ren continued in a professional tone of voice.  
"It seems that Commander Loopin was under your command." He said quietly. "Which means I also hold you responsible for his actions."  
The choking sound grew louder and the clear discomfort of the man became very apparent. His face turned an alarming shade of blue as the Supreme Leader increased the pressure on his windpipe.  
With a vicious snarl, he squeezed a little harder and bit out: "Consider this as a warning. You're to keep your men in check. If they disobey another direct order, you'll pay for their mistakes too. Do I make myself clear?"  
The man was then released and he gulped in deep breaths, coughing and sputtering for all he was worth.  
"Gentlemen, this does not alleviate the fact that circumstances are different now."  
He spoke softly, but the soft tone only added to his menacing impression.  
"And thus," he stated icily with a clear reference to the former Supreme Leader, looking Hux straight in the eyes, "our strategy must now change."  
Hux merely lifted an eyebrow and his mouth turned down in distaste.  
Kylo Ren drew himself up to his full, impressive height, puffing his chest so his shoulders seemed impossibly wide underneath his cloak.  
"I have already given it proper thought and decided on a new course of action."  
He clasped his hands behind his back, displaying a suspiciously relaxed impression despite the fury roaring inside him.  
"We need to set an example. To let the Galaxy know the direction we will take. To convince the people that our way is the only way." He lifted his chin in defiance, knowing he was going to drop a bomb on their collective thinking.  
"We will give them something they have not seen before. We will give General Organa a State Funeral."  
He watched with mild amusement as his leadership sputtered and gasped, surprise visible in their pale faces.  
The only one who was bold enough to react was Hux, of course.  
"Supreme Leader, really…" Hux gave him a look of bored contempt.  
He began to object when Kylo Ren interrupted him.  
"We WILL give her a State Funeral, General Hux." He said with cold determination.  
"Fully decked out. Every important representative of every planet, every former Senator, every Royal will be there. So will our prisoners." He cocked his head and challenged Hux to disagree.  
"We will bury her on Naboo, in her family tomb and heeding Alderanian customs."  
He watched closely as Hux's eyes widened and opened his mouth to object.  
"And we will broadcast the whole thing on the Holonet." He added calmly with a whisp of a smile.  
Hux closed his mouth with a snap.  
Surprised marked the ginger's face. Then a slow smile spread across his face.  
"We will show the Galaxy that their beacon of hope is gone, that resisting our reign is pointless and futile. That The First Order is stronger than ever before and that we will not tolerate any of this pitiful defiance."  
He said this with more conviction that he felt, staring at each and every Captain, Commander, Admiral and General in the room.  
Hux gazed at him with the barest hint of admiration in his eyes.  
"Brilliant idea, Supreme Leader." He said. "it is obvious you have thought this through thoroughly." He continued calmly.  
"I would be more than happy to oversee the practical arrangements for you, Sir."  
Kylo Ren hadn't expected the little sting those words brought on.  
"Very well, General Hux." He stated dryly, experiencing more difficulty to remain his detached frame of mind.  
"However, considering the importance of the message we will be relaying, I insist you keep me up to date on every development. We cannot afford to overlook a single detail. Do I make myself clear?"  
Hux gave him another appreciative smile.  
"Of course, Supreme Leader. I will send you an update every two standard hours."  
Kylo Ren nodded sharply to indicate he had heard him.  
"Now, I have other matters to attend to. Captain Mitaka." He addressed the young man who was making a valiant effort to disappear in plain view.  
"I am appointing you to retrieve a ship from the Resistance Base. It's a Corellian YT Light Freighter, known as the Millenium Falcon. The same you've reported on before. You will travel with a regiment to Dantooine and oversee the retrieval personally. The ship is to be returned to our hangar with as little damage as possible. There are objects of interest to me on board. You will leave as soon as this meeting is over and make sure the ship lands in our hangar within a standard day. Preferably sooner that that."  
He watched as Mitaka swallowed and stared at him, wide-eyed and frightened.  
"Yes, of course, Supreme Leader. Right away."  
Again, Kylo Ren nodded.  
"Now, Gentlemen, if you'll excuse me. General Hux, do have this mess cleaned up." He said with a small gesture at the body on the floor.  
"Meeting adjourned."  
With that, he turned on his heel and stormed out of the conference room without looking back. 

Without thinking, Kylo Ren stormed through the corridors of the Finalizer. He stepped into the elevator and pushed the button angrily.  
When the doors closed, he closed his eyes and tried in vain to keep his emotions in check.  
The meeting had gone fairly well.  
But when he had caught tail of Loopin's thoughts, of how it was one of his men who had fired that fatal shot…  
He'd been unable to contain himself from exacting some revenge.  
But now that the moment had passed, it left him wondering. The relief he had felt at snapping the man's neck had been brief. Guilt and remorse still clung to his every fiber, no matter how hard he tried to shake it.  
So he figured he needed to vent some more.  
He opened his eyes again at the exact moment he arrived at the chosen floor.  
He was at the VIP-ward.  
The supervisor and Storm Troopers instantly snapped to attention.  
Schooling his features in an indifferent mask, he asked curtly: "Poe Dameron's cell?"  
The older man seemed shocked out of his mind to see the Supreme Leader in person.  
He reacted properly however.  
"Good afternoon, Supreme Leader. Cell 1331. Second last on the right."  
Without acknowledging the man, he simply thundered down the narrow corridor.  
He paused briefly, drawing a deep breath.  
He didn't righteously know what the Hell he was doing. But he needed to do this now.  
If he waited, he'd burst.  
He pushed the button and the door slid open.  
Without any preamble he walked inside.  
Poe was sitting on his cot, staring out in space, looking miserable for all he was worth.  
He looked up at the sound of the door opening and immediately straightened at the sight of Kylo Ren himself in his cell.  
The Supreme Leader closed the door behind him and waved his fingers.  
Poe knew he did that to disturb the security cameras.  
"Poe Dameron." Kylo started in his low voice. "Back on my ship again."  
This earned him a small cocky smile from Poe.  
"We gotta stop meeting like this."  
Kylo Ren noticed a bruised on the pilot's jaw, slowly blooming, a small bloodied cut in it's center.  
His eyes narrowed.  
"Where did you get that?" he inclined his head to indicate the injury.  
"One of your goons." He said as he leaned back against the headboard. "Might wanna tell them not to hit my face. Women don't like their men black and blue." He said in an arrogant little tone.  
Kylo immediately noticed Poe's thoughts drifting to Rey. Concern for her was apparent, as was obvious affection. And also… Attraction.  
"I strongly suggest you to direct your attention elsewhere, Dameron. The girl is not your concern. Unless you crave more bruises on that pretty face of yours." He sneered. His lip curled viciously. The memory of Poe asking Rey to join him for dinner still stuck in his mind. The fact that Rey smiled at Poe constantly as well as the fact that they were obviously getting pretty close, made him insanely jealous.  
Poe watched him closely for a second or two, the silence seeming to drag the moment out indefinitely.  
 _He likes Rey…_ Poe realized with a shock.  
The men stared each other down.  
Poe narrowed his eyes and got up from his bed. He walked over until he was about three feet away.  
"Why are you here, Ben?" he asked quietly. His eyes reflected his every emotion.  
Poe Dameron was hurting. He was grieving. He was angry and defiant.  
"Have you come here to rub it in?" He lifted his chin and searched the other man's face, looking for a smudge of the boy he had once known.  
"To tell me how I failed? How the Resistance is gone? How you wiped us out? Is that why you're here? To tell me you finally got back at me?"  
Kylo Ren was shocked by the audacity.  
Hearing Poe call him Ben brought back memories with a flash. A mixture of anger and something else coursed through him. He remained quiet, losing some of his pretense. He switched back from his Kylo Ren mode, that had been necessary to get through the meeting with Hux and the other leadership, to being Ben. The transgression went far too easy. He carefully kept his expression aloof.  
Poe continued, his voice gradually picking up on volume and determination.  
"Well, congratulations, Ben, you finally got me!" He shouted. His face contorted into a semblance of defeat for the briefest moments.  
"At this exact moment in time, I will gladly admit that you have brought me down." He took a deep breath and got one step closer, all but getting in Ben's face.  
"But I promise you, I will not stay down for long. And I will avenge Leia, if it's the last thing I'll do."  
His expression was fierce, unyielding, defiant.  
Qualities Ben could appreciate.  
 _What the Hell am I doing here?_ He wondered for the umpteenth time since entering the cell.  
"That won't be necessary." He said calmly.  
"What?"  
"I said that won't be necessary." He repeated in the same calm tone.  
"Both the trooper who was responsible for the blaster shot that killed her as his Captain in Command were executed." He said.  
Poe's face scrunched up. Then his anger took over again.  
"YOU killed her, Ben!" he shouted.  
"Part of her died years ago, when you turned to the Dark Side and ruined Luke's temple and killed off his students! YOU were the one who ordered the attack on our Base. YOU are the one who killed our mother!"  
Ben's temper flared. It exploded.  
"Don't you dare! Don't you dare call her our mother! She was MY mother!" He shouted, his fists clenching at his side, itching to hit Poe in the face. It didn't worry Poe in the least.  
He'd seen plenty of Ben's tantrums before he got sent off to the Jedi Academy. He wasn't about to be intimidated now.  
"She may not have been my mother by blood, but she sure as Hell was my mother just as much as she was yours!" He looked Ben up and down with open disgust.  
"Maybe even more so…"  
Ben had had enough. With a loud roar of frustration, he Force-pushed Poe back, slamming him into the back wall, making him collapse on the bed with a pained grunt.  
Grabbing his ribs, he pushed himself in a sitting position.  
"What happened to you Ben?" he asked quietly, misery obvious in Poe's dark eyes.  
"You were such a sweet kid. We were so close." He sighed. "You were my brother, Ben. I loved you. We all did."  
His eyes searched Ben's, eyes that were staring at him with a mixture of hatred and fury.  
"Why?"  
Ben finally let it all out.  
"I hate you." He said, his voice trembling with emotion.  
"You stole everything that ever meant anything to me. Took away everything I loved, got to do everything I ever dreamt of." He felt tears sting at the back of his eyes, but forced them down.  
His voice sounded detached, as if he were simply a viewer of this twisted scene.  
"When you came to live with us, I looked up to you. But the longer you stayed, the more they pushed me away. My mother preferred your company because you 'understood the cause'." He spat.  
"Han took you along on his trips, while I was forced to stay home."  
He swallowed and his mouth twisted into a vicious sneer, the muscles around his lips and beneath his eyes twitched furiously.  
"They decided they didn't want me. So they sent me away and kept you on. Replaced one kid for another. They made their choice."  
Poe looked on with confusion.  
"What in the Galaxy are you talking about?" he murmured pensively.  
"Han and Leia loved you, Ben! They did whatever they could for you. They honestly believed they did the right thing when they sent you to train with Luke!" He continued heatedly. "If you had only seen the bigger picture… When you turned, it all but destroyed them!"  
"Don't you dare lecture me on seeing the bigger picture, Poe!" Ben raged back.  
"I've been seeing the bigger picture for years! This Rebellion of yours, that precious cause of yours, is worth nothing! It's a dream, a fantasy, a mirage! You want the Republic back? Well guess what, Flyboy, it was never pure to begin with! Blackmail, bribes, false committees… It was a cesspool and the Galaxy should be grateful to be rid of it! I will bring a new order to the Galaxy, and I will instigate peace at last." He shouted.  
"Spoken like a true dictator." Poe sneered.  
This earned him a punch in the jaw and another push.  
Poe staggered back and burst out in laughter.  
Confusion racked through Ben at Poe's laughter.  
 _What the…_  
"What's so funny?"  
"Well… I must have hit a nerve for you to actually punch me instead of using your little Force-tricks on me…"  
This snapped Ben right back out of his stupor.  
"You mean like this?" he asked coldy. And applied the slightest pressure on Poe's throat, the Force choke making him gurgle.  
"You… can kill… me." He managed to croak. "But you… will never… destroy… us!"  
Ben dropped him, releasing his hold on him.  
An icy chuckle pierced the brief silence Poe's words had ensued.  
"That may be true, Dameron. But I'll still enjoy it." He said as he let go of his Force choke.  
He smiled viciously.  
Poe smiled back engagingly.  
"You won't kill me, Ben." He said hoarsely.  
"You're my brother, and whether you like it or not, family still matters." His smile grew smug.  
"And if you try, Rey will kick your ass again. She wouldn't let you hurt me. She cares about me."  
The mention of Rey sobered Ben instantly. Surprise flashed in his eyes briefly, before jealousy took over despite his best intentions.  
He let out an incredulous little half-laugh.  
"Sure."  
"I'm serious. She wouldn't let you hurt me. Me and her…we're pretty close."  
Poe searched Ben's face. He knew this man, knew his features, had known them as well as his own at a certain point. He saw what Ben was trying to hide. And he noticed the possessiveness, the territorial tendency, the fury and the jealousy even before Ben shot him his parting words.  
"Not as close as I am."  
He straightened to his full height and gave Dameron his most intimidating stare.  
Poe returned it with a glare of his own.  
"Don't get too comfortable, Flyboy. I have big plans for you."  
And with that, he opened the door with the Force and slammed it shut behind him. 


	20. Chapter 19

Rey sat on the bed, staring out into blank space.  
After the most miserable night of her life, the only thing she felt like doing was absolutely nothing.  
Nightmare after nightmare had tormented her, alternating with flashes of memories too sweet and precious. The mixture was volatile and she had been unable to get the rest her body desperately needed.  
It left her feeling raw and spent, uncapable of much less anything.  
How had everything been able to go so awfully wrong in such a short amount of time?  
One minute, everyone had been safe, out of harm's way, she'd been in Ben's arms and the galaxy had seemed at peace.  
The next, they were torn out of their illusion, and they all had to scramble for their lives. Never before had she been involved in such a large fight, never before had she felt so overwhelmed by the odds.  
And when Ben – no, Kylo! – showed up and Leia had died before her eyes…  
A single tear slipped down her cheek and she absently wiped it away.  
 _Save your sorrow for after the fight,_ Leia always said.  
Except now, there was no more fight.  
They had lost.  
 _We've lost…  
_ She couldn't even muster the spirit to be angry. Or sad. Or bitter.  
She was just empty.  
She was isolated from anyone who had grown to matter to her. She didn't even know if they were allright.  
Why it was so difficult, she had no idea. She had grown up on Jakku, alone. She was used to being alone. To having no one but herself to keep company. No one else to worry about. She had survived it for years.  
 _So why is this so difficult now?_ She thought.  
 _Because now,_ a little voice inside her head whispered, _you know what it can be like to have friends, family, lo…  
_ She halted her train of thought abruptly. She would NOT go down that path.  
Only heartache and misery were to be found at the end.  
She closed her eyes as a wave of anguish threatened to overtake her. She breathed in, the stale air of the Finalizer not nearly filling her lungs in a satisfying way. How she longed to be back on Ahch-To or Takodana, with it's lush greenery and clean fresh air…  
She heard some sounds outside of her cell, and sure enough, the door soon opened with a mechanical whoosh.  
Except, instead of an officer with a plate of food, she stared straight into the cold and calculated eyes of General Hux.  
"Goodmorning." He said politely.  
His voice caused the hairs on the back of her neck to stand and goosebumps to cover her arms.  
There was something in it that instantly made her apprehensive.  
She kept her features carefully schooled in a mask of indifference, not giving away any of her feelings.  
A sick little smile played with the corners of his mouth.  
If not for the pasty color of his skin and the absolute aura of pure evil cloaking him, he might have even been passably handsome according to average standards.  
Hers had been forever altered because of Ben.  
But that was another train of thought she needed to block.  
"I do not believe we have ever been properly introduced." He said calmly.  
"I am General Hux, High Commander of the First Order and right hand to our Supreme Leader."  
He looked her up and down, his eyes uncomfortably intimately roaming her body and face.  
"And you…" he started in a low voice with a strange undertone of appreciation, "are the famous girl Rey."  
He smiled again, a little wider this time.  
"The powerful last Jedi…" He said slyly.  
He entered the room a little further and she noticed the three Storm Troopers behind him. Two of them pointing their weapons at her, while the third one held two pairs of restraints.  
She swallowed and her eyes found Hux's again.  
"You'll forgive me, of course." He continued rationally.  
"After hearing how you bested our Supreme Leader, not once but twice! And killing our former Supreme Leader, you will surely understand that certain security measures are necessary."  
He motioned for the third Trooper to proceed, and he walked up to Rey without a single word.  
She allowed him to clip on the restraints on her hands and feet without a fight, knowing it would be pointless.  
If her friends were still alive, they would need her. She would not risk her life at this point.  
When the Trooper was done, he stepped back.  
Hux smiled again, and it made Rey's skin crawl.  
 _Something is going on. He's up to something._ Her mind was whirling.  
"You may return to your post. I will bang on the door when I am finished."  
Rey's stomach lurched in her throat at those words.  
She watched silently as the Storm Troopers turned and left the cell without so much as a word.  
The door to the cell closed once more with a metallic clank.  
Hux clasped his hands behind his back and visibly relaxed.  
"Well…" he started softly.  
"Alone at last." He murmured.  
Again, a sense of alarm crept through Rey as she watched him take a few steps towards her.  
He regarded her quietly, studying her with an intensity that would have either scared or infuriated her at any other point in time. Now, however, she felt only resignation.  
His eyes narrowed and he proceeded to talk with a little more depth to his voice.  
"I can see why Ren is so obsessed with you." His eyes raked over her again, and this time there was no mistaking the blatant sexual undertone in his gaze.  
"I can almost understand and forgive him for getting so distracted that you managed to almost kill him twice…"  
His gaze became lecherous. He smiled as he walked over to stand less than two feet away and slowly licked his lips.  
He crouched down in front of her, cocked his head to the side and narrowed his eyes slightly.  
"How did you do it? Hmm?" He whispered.  
Rey could do nothing but stare at him.  
Her mind was racing. She'd been in similar situations before.  
Jakku wasn't a safe little haven. It had been a junkyard with nothing but the scum and slime of the galaxy thrown together. She had a pretty good inkling of what was going to happen if she didn't find a way to get out of here or defend herself. Unfortunately, she was wearing restraints. She wasn't sure if the Force would be enough to unclip them, or if she could use the Force when she was bound this way…  
There was only one thing she could think of, but she didn't know if it would have any effect. She could try to reach out into the Bond. But if he was still blocking her…  
Hux lifted his hand and let a finger slowly trail down her arm as his gaze was transfixed on her mouth.  
"How did you manage to distract a Dark Knight, skilled by years of training, hardened by years of discipline?"  
He bit his lip and let his finger trail up her arm again, slowly rounding the curve of her shoulder and moving towards her collarbone.  
"Did you seduce him?" Hux whispered and his eyes locked onto her breasts beneath the bright orange uniform.  
For the first time since stepping on board of that First Order Shuttle, she felt anything else except indifference or hurt.  
She felt panic.  
Her breathing quickened, making her chest rise and fall faster. Hux's eyes seemed to glaze over and fixated on her chest even more.  
 _Ben… where are you? I need your help! Please? Hurry…_ Her mind and heart shouted, reaching out into their Bond frantically. She felt he was close, their Bond acting like an elastic rubber band, stretching and relaxing at their nearness.  
She had no idea whether or not she would be able to use the Force to keep Hux away. She needed to find another way and hope that Ben would react to her plea.  
"Don't touch me." She said, her voice hard as steel.  
Hux looked into her eyes as she spoke. Another slow smile spread across his face, replacing his fascination with a strange sort of glee.  
"Ah…" he grinned arrogantly, "so you can talk… I was starting to wonder…"  
She lifted her chin in defiance.  
"Only when I see fit." She spat venomously.  
"So much fire…" Hux murmured. He lifted his hand to her cheek and cupped it.  
"I'm very sure that our Supreme Leader will want to quench it…" he all but crooned as he rubbed the pad of his thumb across her lower lip.  
"I know I do…" he whispered.  
Another wave of panic crashed into her.  
 _Ben! Please!_ Her mind screamed.  
Showing nothing of her growing fear she jerked her chin out of his grasp.  
"Never" she said through clenched teeth. Lightning flashed in her eyes and she spat at him. Right in his eye.  
She watched as his entire demeanor changed.  
Gone was his almost seductive manner.  
He straightened and took a handkerchief from his pocket. He meticulously wiped the spit from his eye and glared at her.  
"I hope you enjoyed that, little desert rat." He grumbled darkly.  
"Because I promise you now that you'll pay for it."  
He was about to raise his hand when the door slid open, taking them both by surprise…

Angry, loud footsteps resounded against the walls of the Finalizer as he marched towards the elevator.  
He'd had a rough night. Kept reliving Leia's death. Kept hearing her words. Kept feeling helpless and desperate. Angry. Hurt. _Remorseful.  
_ Mixed in with those memories was Rey. Her smile, her eyes, her tender gaze, her voice, her anger, her feeling of being powerless.  
Her emotions and thoughts merged with his own until he could not handle it anymore.  
He had gotten up and stepped into the fresher, preferring the water ice cold. He stayed there until his teeth were chattering and his skin felt like it was stung with a thousand needles.  
But even that hadn't helped. The ghost of his nightmares still clung to him.  
So he had decided to go to the VIP-level and confront FN-2187.  
 _Finn_.  
He had trouble fighting the small smile as he remembered Rey's voice putting emphasis on his name.  
Exacting a little revenge on the Traitor would bring some of his spirits back, he hoped.  
He stepped inside the elevator and pushed the button for the designated floor.  
He could feel their Bond practically tremble with her nearness the closer he got.  
He suddenly felt something…  
 _Panic._  
"What the…" he muttered to himself.  
it didn't take long before he caught on to a faint whisper.  
 _Ben… where are you? I need your help! Please? Hurry…_  
"Rey?" he said out loud, confused.  
Of course, she didn't answer.  
The doors opened and he continued down the hallway, frowning and thinking he had imagined it. He approached the desk where the supervisor was, when another wave of panic crashed into him, stronger than before.  
Something was wrong! He could feel it.  
The supervisor addressed him, but Ben didn't pay him any attention.  
 _Ben! Please!  
_ The urgency in her voice and the panic he felt was enough to propel him towards what he instinctively recognized as her cell. Outside her door were two Troopers standing guard.  
"Move" He growled at them.  
They complied without question, their loyalty to their Leader never up for discussion.  
He opened the door without thinking and crossed the threshold.  
He walked in on Hux looming over Rey, about to raise his hand or so it seemed.  
Hux whirled around and looked up at him in surprise.  
Rey on the other hand looked up at him with obvious relief. _And trust._  
"Supreme Leader!" Hux exclaimed.  
Ben stared at him with flashing eyes.  
"General Hux." He said through clenched teeth. "What are you doing here?"  
He could sense the little weasel scramble for an explanation.  
"I had a few questions for the girl."  
Ben lifted a single brow.  
"I do not remember stating that these prisoners needed questioning." He stated dryly.  
"And you needed to ask these questions in the privacy of a closed cell, with Troopers on guard and restraints on hands and feet?"  
He cocked his head and glared at the General.  
Hux seemed to have recovered from his initial shock and seemed prepared for the question.  
"You'll forgive me for these safety precautions, Supreme Leader." He said with an even voice.  
"But considering the fact that she injured you and killed Supreme Leader Snoke, I thought it would be wise to be prepared."  
Ben's eyes found Rey's and he heard her voice in his head.  
 _I killed Snoke?_  
He silently regarded her with a warning not to say anything at all.  
He returned his attention to Hux.  
"I understand." He said. "But…" He continued in a voice colder than ice, "I did not give you permission to interrogate these prisoners yet. Nor have you asked me for it."  
His gaze bore into Hux and he conveyed his dismay clearly.  
"Well, true, but I honestly did not think that…"  
"You're correct, General Hux." Ben continued through clenched teeth.  
"You didn't think!" He bit out.  
Ben lifted his chin and regarded the ginger officer for a second or two. Time seemed to move slowly.  
"I'll take it from here. Leave this cell, General."  
Rey was studying Ben in silence. The muscles around his mouth and beneath his left eye were twitching again. She knew he was a lot angrier than he tried to let on. She felt his anger flow through their Bond.  
The distinct desire to slam him into a wall and squeeze Hux's windpipe until it snapped filled her. She swallowed in response.  
She could not see Hux's face, his back was towards her. But she didn't have to see it to feel his contempt.  
"Of course Supreme Leader." He said calmly. He turned around and looked her in the eye. His look was full of hatred and violence. A promise that he would finish what he started.  
"Good day, Rey." He said, her name rolling off his tongue with a familiarity she hated.  
She shot him a defiant look and lifted her chin.  
A small smile played at the corners of his mouth. He inclined his head to Ben and left the cell.  
A small motion of Ben's hand closed the door behind him. He made another gesture that confused Rey a little.  
They stared at each other for a few seconds, neither of them saying anything.  
Then Ben took a few steps in her direction.  
Meaningful steps full of purpose, no hesitation whatsoever.  
Her breath caught in her throat and she felt the need to put her guard up.  
But he surprised her.  
He suddenly knelt in front of her, going down on one knee.  
He touched the restraints on her feet and away they came with a loud snap. He tossed them aside carelessly.  
His eyes then wandered to the restraints on her hands.  
Unwillingly, his thoughts drifted…  
Rey could tap into his mind without even trying, seeing the images he was conjuring with stunning clarity.  
The image of herself, naked, pressed up against a wall with her restraints still clasped around her wrists, raised above her head. Ben's hands linked with her own as he pushed into her body…  
She gasped and her breath caught in her throat.  
The sound made him look up and their gazes locked.  
He knew she had seen it. He saw the shock in her eyes, but also the anticipation, the fascination and the wonder. And her cheeks looked lovely pink, her flush covering her from neck to hairline.  
He chuckled.  
"I'm not going to apologize." He whispered softly with a twinkle in his eyes.  
He touched the restraints on her wrists and away they came.  
She automatically rubbed them. She swallowed past the cotton in her mouth.  
She didn't know how to respond to him now, so they just sat there looking at each other for what seemed like an eternity.  
His eyes were suspiciously soft.  
A small frown grazed his forehead as he finally found his voice.  
"Did he hurt you?" He was trying to stay calm, but his emotions spilled into their Bond regardless.  
He was angry at Hux, but most of all, he was concerned. For her.  
"No." she said.  
He studied her face again.  
"You don't belong here." He said softly.  
This brought back some of the spunk he lov… _Whoa! Slow down!_ His mind screeched.  
He couldn't afford to think like that. That would get him in trouble…  
She lifted her chin and her eyes sparked.  
"Neither do you." She shot back.  
He averted his eyes and this gave her all the encouragement she needed.  
"When are you going to admit that this is not what you want, Ben?"  
His eyes found hers again.  
"We can't always have what we want, now can we?" he asked bitterly.  
The Throne Room Fiasco flashed before both their minds.  
 _Not this again._ She thought.  
"We both know I couldn't accept, Ben." She whispered with obvious sorrow.  
"I can never turn to the Dark Side."  
The muscle under his left eye ticked again.  
He lowered his gaze and slowly stood, summoning the restraints to his hand with the Force.  
He turned to leave, but paused just before opening the door. He looked back at her and he looked heartbroken.  
"Did it ever occur to you, Rey, that I never asked you to turn to the Dark? Just to join me." He said softly.  
 _To choose me. Just me.  
_ "You could have changed things from the inside out, you know…"  
He shook his head as if he were forlorn and walked out of the cell, leaving Rey stunned.


	21. Chapter 20

Rey was left behind, staring at the door of her cell.  
Her mind was reeling with the events that had just taken place.  
Thank the Maker Ben had shown up when he had!  
She didn't even want to contemplate what would have happened if he hadn't…  
She had been in that place before. On Jakku. Too much scum gathered in that Hellhole.  
But that had been different.  
That had been pure survival. She had always been armed with her staff.  
She had been able to build quite the reputation among the other scavengers.  
No one was stupid enough to attack her after a while.  
But this…  
She had been in restraints, in a cell that was built to contain screams. No one would have come to her rescue, and nobody cared anyway.  
Chills ran up and down her spine as the image of Hux licking his lips reentered her mind. As the memory of his finger trailing her arm ghosted across her skin.  
She squeezed her eyes shut.  
The moment she did, Ben's words slammed into her again.  
 _"Did it ever occur to you, Rey, that I never asked you to turn to the Dark? Just to join me." To choose me. Just me. "You could have changed things from the inside out, you know…"  
_ How could she have been so stupid? To not have considered that?  
That all he had wanted was for her to choose him over all else, as he had just done for her?  
But when he had asked her to join him in that Throne Room, she had not been able to see beyond the moment.  
She had been too engrossed in the idea of saving him. Of turning him. Thinking it was the only way they could win.  
Of thinking that because he had chosen her over Snoke, all would be well.  
He would come back to the Light and that would be the end of it.  
Never once did she think of him. Not even until now, had she given it any thought. Of how he must have felt, having killed his master, of relinquishing everything that had been familiar up to that point.  
Of what he must have gone through at the hands of that awful creature. Of how he had been manipulated and abused for years, never having a way or reason for escaping the chains he was bound by. Never thinking of his possible fears or insecurities. Of his pain.  
She had been overzealous. She had been trying to push him forward way too fast, because he had gone to that length for her. Crossed that line.  
She had been wrong.  
Wrong to want to push him. Wrong to push him away when he reached out. Wrong to run from him, accusing him of things that she was to blame for.  
She had known it instinctively at the time. Had been so incredibly tempted. Knew his sincerity. Felt it.  
Things might have turned out so differently if she had just taken his hand.  
 _Leia might still be alive…_  
It was a mistake she hadn't realized before now. One she would forever regret.  
But she had been blinded by the idea of the Light and Dark Sides, of wrong and right. All she had been able to see was the glove on his hand. The symbol for his alter ego. And all she had wanted, was Ben's hand reaching out.  
It had taken Leia's death and their defeat and basically her losing everything that mattered to her to understand. By turning away, she had failed. Both him and herself.  
Silent, bitter tears ran down her cheeks.  
It was too late now.  
It was over. 

Ben returned to his quarters.  
By the time he actually reached his room, he was furious.  
For a whole list of reasons.  
He should have killed Hux on the spot for raising his hand to Rey. Or even attempting to.  
He wanted to.  
 _Kriff! How I want to kill him._ He thought.  
But he wasn't a fool.  
He needed Hux. Needed his tactical mind. Needed his devotion to the cause.  
 _For now…  
_ But as soon as the changes he wanted to make were implemented, he would get rid of the lousy little chit.  
 _Good riddance…  
_ Once more his mind trailed to the scene he had stumbled upon.  
He shoved a hand through his hair, disheveling it even more.  
"I need a haircut." He mumbled to himself.  
 _Rey…  
_ The memory of her panic overflowing their Bond still sent ice down his nerve endings.  
He got angry all over again, with both Hux and himself.  
How did that bloody girl get under his skin so badly? Why were they bound by the Force? Why did she move him, make him say and feel things he didn't want to?  
He shouldn't have admitted that last bit to her.  
Should have kept his mouth shut and his thoughts to himself.  
But the words had just poured out.  
What had he thought to achieve with that?  
Why did it matter so much? Why did _she_ matter so much?  
He was starting to come to grips with the reason, even if he didn't want to actually say the words.  
He didn't even want to think them, but he knew what it was.  
Compelled by something so strong he couldn't fight it if he wanted to, he stalked out of his room again, only to walk up to the room next to his.  
He dismissed the guards who stood outside the door, keeping watch.  
He took a deep breath and was glad for his gloves. His hands were sweating and he had trouble keeping himself from shaking.  
After a moment's hesitation, he opened the door and walked inside.  
He closed the door, locking it with a movement of his fingers and turned to face her.  
His mother.  
 _Mom._  
Her lifeless form was laid down on a bed in the center of the room, as he had requested earlier that day, when he had quickly communicated some of his basic wishes to one of the officers working on the funeral plan.  
More wishes, and more elaborate expectations would soon follow. But he had already demanded this much.  
That she be put on a comfortable and colorful bed, instead of a metal slab.  
That her body be cleaned and prepared with the utmost care.  
That her facial expression be schooled in a small soft smile.  
That she be dressed in a beautiful and colorful gown, preferably a deep royal blue.  
That her hair be done according to ancient Alderanian custom, and keeping the mourning braid a focal point.  
He quickly motioned his hand, disturbing the security cameras for the duration of his visit.  
He took a few steps further inside the room, drawing closer.  
And felt his turmoil still. Much like he had in the Command Shuttle.  
 _My eye in the storm. My peace.  
_ They had complied with all of his wishes so far.  
She looked absolutely beautiful.  
Peaceful.  
Lovely.  
She looked as sweet and gentle as the woman he remembered in his dreams. In his memories.  
His hand moved to touch her without thinking.  
He caressed her hair and her cheek briefly, only to rest his hand on top of hers. It was cold.  
He took another deep breath and pulled up a chair.  
As he sat down, a huge sigh escaped him.  
 _What a mess I've gotten myself in huh…  
_ He smiled sadly at his own thoughts.  
 _Oh Mom… What in the Galaxy happened?_ He sighed again.  
 _How did things get so screwed up? I used to be so focused! So sure of everything.  
_ He shook his head as he continued this discussion with her in his mind.  
 _I can blame Snoke for manipulating me. I can blame you and Han for sending me off to Luke.  
I can blame Luke._  
A snorty chuckle escaped him.  
 _Actually, I do blame Luke… He did try to kill me in my sleep, after all…_  
He smiled grimly, realizing that it lacked the fervor the thought had held before. He frowned at the implication.  
 _I can even blame Rey, I guess, if I wanted to…_ he continued, the voice in his head went on softer.  
 _For walking away, for leaving me when I needed her most. For pushing me away.  
But I can't._  
His brow furrowed even more.  
 _The thing is… You were right, Mom. The pull to the Light is only getting stronger. I feel like I'm being torn apart. Everything I had started to accept as my path got turned upside down. Now…_  
He turned away, glancing down at his boots and closing his eyes as a wave of pain and sorrow crashed into him.  
 _Now, I don't know anything anymore. What seemed right before, now feels wrong somehow.  
When I realized she was the girl from my visions, I thought things would work out for the best.  
That's why I turned on my Master for her. I was sure she would stand with me. Choose me, as I chose her…  
_To his dismay, a choked sob escaped his lips as tears ran down his cheeks.  
 _What is happening?_ He thought angrily.  
 _I want to be free of this doubt, of this pain!_  
Instantly his thoughts were pulled back towards those last moments with Han. He blocked them with every ounce of determination he possessed.  
 _Mom… if a part of you is still out there… Help me. Tell me what to do._ His thoughts were whispered fervently.  
 _Please…  
_ Suddenly he realized how desperate he seemed. How mellow. How soft…  
 _You have too much of your father's heart in you, young Solo…  
_ His master's words rung in his ears, shrill like a banshee's shriek.  
He inhaled deeply and steeled himself against his own emotions.  
 _Dead men tell no tales.  
_ The old proverb coming to mind. His lip curled in distaste.  
He looked at her again. And he could feel the wall he tried to build around his heart crack again.  
He scowled, realizing that his weakness could be found in stubborn, headstrong and defiant women.  
Guess Snoke was right after all. He took after Han more than he thought…  
He turned on his heel and unlocked the door with a twitch of his fingers. Another hand gesture and the security cams would function normal again.  
He left the room, motioning for the Troopers nearby to stand guard again.  
He walked into his own private quarters, moving towards the large windows and staring into blank space.  
Frustrated beyond words, he felt the need to lash out.  
Gritting his teeth, he tried to swallow that feeling.  
He needed to think.  
He needed to refocus.  
He needed to come up with a plan.  
He needed to…  
 _I need Rey…_  
If only he could make her see that she didn't need to change! That he didn't want her to change!  
They just needed to find some sort of consensus… A middle ground, so to speak…  
An idea hit him out of the blue. So sudden, that he could barely wrap his head around it.  
So brilliant, he wondered why he hadn't thought of it before.  
Rey wouldn't like it. But she'd go along with it. Eventually. He was absolutely certain of that.  
A trade!  
He would bargain her time, for time with her friends!  
A great big smile spread across his face.  
Somewhere, in a very small, deep and dark little part of himself, he liked the idea that Leia had come up with that crazy plan and put it in his head…  
He let out a small bark of laughter.  
He walked up to the communication unit near his door and contacted the VIP ward.  
"Yes, Supreme Leader?" a distorted voice sounded over the intercom.  
"Bring the girl Rey up to my quarters."  
"Yes, Supreme Leader. Right away."  
He walked away from the intercom to stand near the windows again.  
Staring out at the inky darkness, dotted with a million stars shimmering bright, he realized he was still smiling.  
After what seemed like only a few moments, but must have taken at least ten standard minutes, a knock resounded on his door.  
He turned and opened the door with the movement of his hand, using the Force.  
The first thing he saw was Rey.  
AS his eyes locked with hers, her surprise was evident.  
"The girl Rey, as you requested Supreme Leader." One of six Storm Troopers said.  
Her chin lifted in defiance, and her eyes finally had a little of her usual sparkle to them.  
He felt a familiar stirring in his belly. Excitement coursed through him, despite his best attempts to ignore it. Heat slowly spread through his veins. His eyes never left hers.  
"Let her come in. Then take your leave. I will call you when she is ready to return to her cell."  
"Yes, Supreme Leader." The Trooper said and did as instructed.  
She stood halfway across his room, restrained and quiet. Watching him with suspicion.  
He motioned his hand with a nonchalant gesture and her restraints fell away.  
"You won't be needing those." He said quietly.  
He turned to the windows again, once more staring out at the universe before him.  
He felt her wariness creep into his soul, through their Bond.  
She wasn't afraid.  
But her hesitation was very much apparent.  
After a few moments of silence, she finally decided to break it.  
"Why am I here?" she asked curtly.  
Her voice rung strangely hollow in his room, bouncing off the dark walls.  
She looked around, satisfying her own curiosity.  
 _Everything is dark here…  
_ He could hear her thoughts as if she had spoken them out loud.  
He chuckled.  
"Like my soul, some would say." He said without a trace of humor in his voice.  
It earned him a sharp look from her.  
She said nothing however.  
He narrowed his eyes and studied her.  
She had lost weight.  
Her eyes were bloodshot and puffy, evidence of her tears clearly portrayed. Dark smudges beneath them, indicating her obvious lack of sleep.  
The bright orange uniform with its black stripes down the sides made her sunkissed skin look pale and ashen.  
She looked dreadful.  
 _And still…  
_ "You haven't been eating." He started.  
"That's beside the point." She countered.  
"And you are obviously not sleeping well." He continued in the same brisk tone.  
Her lips tightened in annoyance. He watched her work her jaw, the muscles in those pretty cheeks working as she fought for restraint.  
"Why am I here?" she asked again, sounding more persistent than before.  
He regarded her carefully for a moment, shielding his thoughts and intentions as closely as he could manage.  
Rey on the other hand, didn't even bother to try. Which made him smile mentally.  
"I have a proposition for you." He stated coolly.  
Her eyebrow raised slightly.  
 _Again?_ She thought.  
He narrowed his eyes as that thought seeped its way into his mind.  
"A bargain, if you will." He spoke as he started towards her.  
His steps were slow and measured.  
With every step he took, he felt their Bond tremble harder, felt his excitement grow. The possibilities of this bargain made his mouth as dry as the Jakku desert.  
He stopped not three feet away from her, forcing her to tilt her head up if she wanted to meet his gaze.  
"And what would that be?" She asked, her voice dripping with sass.  
The smallest of smiles played with the corners of his luscious mouth without even being aware of it.  
"Time." He said softly.  
She frowned at the word.  
"I beg your pardon?" she said, scrunching her face into a semblance of confusion.  
"Time." He repeated a little firmer. "I wish to bargain time with you." He said with a great deal of authority.  
"I don't understand." Rey answered.  
"It's quite simple." He started.  
"I will trade time with me for time with your so-called friends." He continued dryly.  
"For every standard hour you spend with me, your friends will be allowed to spend twenty standard minutes in relative freedom in an area that is specifically designed for leisure the very next day."  
Rey looked at him as if he was speaking a foreign language.  
"I'm sorry, I still don't understand…" She murmured.  
"You will grant my friends twenty minutes of freedom for every hour I spend with you?"  
His eyes twinkled with amusement.  
"And here I was, thinking you didn't understand…" he muttered sarcastically.  
His tone reminded her of Luke, but she was bright enough to hide that thought from him.  
She lifted her chin in defiance, her eyes sparking with anger.  
"You would use my sense of guilt to your benefit?" she bit out.  
He sobered somewhat at the look in her eyes.  
 _That look…  
_ It would be his undoing someday. She'd looked at him like that twice before. Whenever she called him a monster. She didn't say it, but she must be thinking it… Cut right into his soul every time. He was careful not to give her that insight though.  
"What did you expect?" he countered casually and turned away from her.  
He walked up to a small table near the far wall. He poured himself a glass of water and took a small sip.  
"I guess I figured you wouldn't want to miss out on the opportunity of helping your friends."  
He spoke softly, almost intimately.  
His voice, with that deep and gentle tone, reminded her of their time on Varykino. Memories flooded her, and caused him to whip his head around. His eyes found hers and she knew he knew what she was thinking. Her body responded to him. Her blood started to thrum, transformed into liquid heat. She started to tremble ever so slightly. Heat pooled between her thighs, and she felt his own excitement grow. She swallowed the lump in her throat and forced herself to hold his gaze.  
 _Finally!_ She thought as a sliver of his emotions flowed through their Bond.  
Trepidation… Excitement. Quickly followed by determination.  
"It's fairly simple, Rey."  
Her name on his lips, uttered so softly, caused her body to tremble harder.  
"One hour with me will buy your friends twenty minutes of relative freedom. You may even join them, if you wish. The choice is yours. Yes or no?"  
He tried to remain aloof and indifferent, to keep his thoughts and feelings hidden from her, to keep them shielded from the intimacy of their Bond. But he knew some of it slipped past the barriers nonetheless.  
She swallowed again as her thoughts raced.  
"What would I have to do?" she spoke softly, barely above a whisper.  
"Keep me company."  
He hated how desperate he sounded.  
Her eyes searched his.  
"Is that all?"  
He was starting to have difficulty breathing. To keep his walls in place.  
"For now." He said. He was quick to add: "I won't force you into doing anything you don't want to."  
His eyes locked onto her lips involuntarily.  
 _Kriff, how I want to kiss her…  
_ Her lips parted on their own volition. Her tongue darted out, wetting them, making them look shiny and luscious and delicious.  
"Do I get to think about this?" she asked.  
This time, her eyes drifted to his mouth. And he felt she wanted to kiss him too.  
"No." He sounded colder than he intended.  
"You decide now."  
She averted her eyes, her ambiguity flowing through their Bond.  
He hated her indecision.  
 _It should have been easy…  
_ Suddenly, her gaze clashed with his again, and he felt that contact down to his toes.  
"Allright." She said.  
She sounded breathless.  
"I agree. Twenty minutes for them for every hour with you."  
He couldn't believe this.  
She had agreed to his crazy little plan. He'd expected as much, however he had also expected her to fight him more.  
The ghost of a smile played with the corners of his mouth.  
"Very well. Shall we start now?" he whispered to a stunned Rey… 


	22. Chapter 21

"Very well. Shall we start now?"  
His whisper sounded very loud in the empty chamber.  
She stood in the center of his room and watched him turn around as if they had just discussed something as common as the weather.  
Her head was spinning and she was trying to come to terms with everything that had transpired in the last forty-eight hours.  
She watched as he walked up to the intercom again, stood motionless as he punched a button.  
A distorted voice immediately responded.  
"Yes, Supreme Leader?"  
"Have two meals prepared and sent to my chambers as soon as possible."  
"Yes, Supreme Leader. Do you require anything else, Sir?" the mechanical voice asked cautiously.  
"No, that will be all."  
"Yes, Supreme Leader. We'll take care of it right away."  
He turned and saw Rey watching him like a vulptex. Ready to run at the slightest threat.  
Time crawled by in absolute silence. Unsure of how to proceed, he walked back towards the table on the far wall.  
"Would you like something to drink?" He asked calmly. "Some water? Caf?"  
She frowned.  
"Why are you doing this?"  
She watched his expression shift to guarded again.  
"Why am I offering you refreshments?"  
Feeling shy all of a sudden, she lowered her eyes, hiding her embarrassment.  
"Why are you being so…" she frowned again and pursed her lips as she searched for the right words.  
When she found it, she lifted her eyes and met his gaze again.  
"Hospitable?"  
His face remained an impassive mask. His voice was pleasant though. Almost conversational and kind.  
"Perhaps it will work to my advantage?" he countered as he sipped his water. His eyes locked with hers over the rim of his glass. The look he gave her was pure mischief.  
"You didn't respond to my question." He said softly.  
"What question?" she asked in a confused tone.  
The corners of his mouth twitched, although the movement couldn't be defined as a smile by any standard.  
"Would you like something to drink?" he repeated slowly.  
She wanted to decline. Out of defiance. Out of spite.  
But she had grown up on a desert planet.  
She knew water was precious. Hydration was essential in survival. She would be stupid to pass this chance up.  
"Yes, thank you."  
He arched a brow in question. She immediately caught on.  
"Water, please."  
He turned and poured her a glass. He held it out for her, forcing her to take several steps in his direction to accept it.  
She nodded as she took the glass from him. Their fingers touched briefly and she felt the contact like an electric current, coursing through her body like lightning.  
She was careful not to show it.  
She was still so confused.  
 _Why is he doing this? What does he have to gain? What is he up to?  
_ Question after question swirled in her head, making her dizzy with their changing speed and direction.  
"Relax, Rey." He said in a soothing voice. "I won't bite."  
The memory of him biting her neck flashed before her, stunningly vivid. The sensation seemed to resurrect on her skin, causing her breath to catch and goosebumps broke out on her arms.  
Her eyes flew up and collided with his.  
His eyes flashed with heat. There was not a doubt in her mind that she hadn't flashed that memory through their Bond. He seemed equally effected by it.  
"That's the second time you did that." He said in a voice so low, it trembled in her womb.  
She swallowed the sudden lump in her throat as his eyes seemed to burn a hole in her very soul.  
He took two steps in her direction, stopping two feet short of her. She had to tilt her head to hold his gaze, but she couldn't seem to look away.  
"I suggest you try to shield your thoughts, Rey." His voice sounded reprimanding and seductive at the same time. His words were laced with a dangerous combination of temptation and warning.  
His eyes dropped to her lips again. She could feel his every emotion, his desire through their Bond. It matched her own. It made her tremble again, although she would not show it.  
"If you don't, I'm not sure I can be held accountable for my actions." He continued softly.  
"I'm just a mortal man, Rey." He murmured huskily.  
Now he was the one putting images in her head, all of the two of them making love. All very different, but incredibly arousing.  
 _On his bed, straddling on the chair, bent over the tiny table, pressed up against his wall, in the fresher…  
_ Every image was more vivid than the next, and she could feel her body respond to them with its usual enthusiasm. The memory of the pleasure he could bring her made her mouth go dry.  
She closed her eyes briefly and tried to clear her mind. When she opened them, his eyes had gotten a desperate gleam to them. He felt the same. She knew it. Felt it.  
Her breath quickened.  
Her mouth opened to say something, then closed again.  
She frowned as words eluded her.  
She was about to step closer and say something when a knock sounded on the door.  
Their gaze disconnected briefly as he focused on the door. When his eyes met hers again, they were cool and calculated. Guarded.  
"Excuse me, Rey." He said calmly, and started for the door.

 _Kriff!  
That woman will be the death of me…_ he thought as he strode towards the door.  
He picked up the restraints and threw them on the bed nonchalantly on his way over.  
When he opened it, an officer stood on the other side holding a large platter laden with food.  
"Your meals, Supreme Leader, as you requested." He said humbly.  
Ben directed him to the table.  
The young officer made quick work of unloading the platter and arranging the dishes on the table in a neat and attractive fashion. When he was done, he tucked the platter under his arm, made a small inclination with his head and demurely asked: "Is there anything else you require, Supreme Leader?"  
Ben's thought immediately turned to Rey, but he didn't let on.  
"No. Leave us."  
"Yes, Supreme Leader." He said, nodded again and stalked out of the room.  
The door closed with a loud click.  
Ben's eyes found Rey. She had moved to the windows and stood there, hugging herself.  
The bright orange prisoner's uniform looked ghastly on her. The color looked horrible on her, the past few days had obviously taken their toll on her and still she managed to look beautiful.  
Just having her so near gave his arid soul a respite. Her nearness was a breath of fresh air, a balm to his scarred heart.  
Her eyes never left him.  
The intensity in her gaze made his breath catch.  
He ignored it and walked over to the table.  
Without looking at her, he sat down and addressed her.  
"Sit down, Rey. And eat."  
Her expression didn't change, she made no move.  
"You're enjoying this immensely, aren't you?" she said bitterly.  
He looked at her then. There was misery in those hazel eyes. Something in his chest pulled tightly at her discomfort. Again, he showed no signs of emotion.  
"And what are you referring to, exactly?" he said coolly as he picked up his fork and started eating.  
Her jaw worked, her eyes flashed.  
She was obviously angry.  
"The power." She bit out.  
"You're enjoying it. You revel in it. Their compliance to your every whim, their submission…" Her eyes traveled up and down his form.  
"Is it everything you had expected?" her voice sounded hoarse with emotion.  
She made no move to join him.  
And their Bond was wide open. He suspected she was too tired and too spent to even try to guard her thoughts and emotions. They all spilled over, making their Bond tremble and shudder.  
She felt angry and hurt and sad and disappointed and defeated.  
He sighed and put his cutlery down.  
He leaned back into his chair and looked her in the eye.  
"Yes, I do." He said quietly.  
The look in her eyes could only be described as shocked. He watched as a frown furrowed her brow, and that luscious mouth draw into a tight line. It reminded him of the look she had given him in the interrogation room.  
 _Stubborn, feisty little firecracker…  
_ "Would you rather I lied about it?" He asked her softly as he tilted his head.  
"Would you rather I deny it?" His eyes narrowed ever so slightly and he leaned forward, resting his weight on his forearms. "I have never lied to you before, and I'm not going to start now." His voice was low, his gaze intense as he continued.  
"I do enjoy it. I do revel being in control. I relish their submission." His eyes bore into hers. He got up and walked up to her, his gaze never leaving hers. He stopped a few inches short of touching her.  
"I have been controlled most of my life. By my parents, by Luke, by Snoke… To be the one in control now, is very satisfying."  
He had that look in his eyes again. Determination and just the slightest hint of viciousness.  
" _Very_ satisfying…"  
Her frown deepened. She got the feeling there was more to it than this. That it was more complicated.  
But that look in his eyes made heat pool between her thighs, despite her better judgement.  
Something told her that being under his control wouldn't be so bad in certain situations…  
She stopped her train of though before her mind could go haywire again.  
She would never grant him complete control. She couldn't help it. All those years alone on Jakku had formed her personality, kneaded her into the woman she was today. She would never relinquish complete control. No one would be her master. She would not cower before anyone.  
 _But it's still mighty tempting…_  
Deep down inside she knew why he felt like this. Could relate. She would not give him the satisfaction of her compassion right now, though.  
She lifted her chin and her eyes flashed defiance.  
"Was it just as satisfying to murder so many people?" She bit back.  
"To kill your mother?" she whispered vehemently.  
He reeled back, as if she had slashed him with a lightsaber again.  
He actually stumbled back a step. His eyes widened and then narrowed dangerously.  
In a low and menacing voice, he growled: "Don't!"  
His breathing quickened, his nostrals flaring. His anger slammed into her, as did his pain and she knew she had made a mistake.  
"Do not even mention my mother!" he whispered. His eyes became haunted for the briefest of seconds, then became angry again.  
"You didn't wait for an explanation at Varykino. You didn't want to know my motivations when I warned you before the attack." He let out an angry sigh before he added in an icy tone: "You are not entitled to it now. And you certainly aren't entitled to lecture me on something you clearly do not understand."  
The muscles beneath his left eye and around his mouth trembled, a telltale sign of his anger if ever there was one.  
Remorse shone in Rey's eyes, but she said nothing.  
It sobered him somewhat. It surprised him how much he wanted to give her his reasons, despite claiming she had lost her right to know. But he didn't say anything. It would not make a difference now.  
He straightened, drawing himself up to his full height. He turned on his heel and calmly walked back to the table. He sat down and picked up his cutlery again.  
"Sit down and eat, Rey. The food is getting cold."  
He sounded detached.  
This time however, she did as he instructed. She sat down across from him and started eating in silence.  
This was not how he had imagined his time with her would go…  
The meal went on without another word.  
Rey picked at her food, her appetite disappeared by her own rash behavior.  
She knew Ben hadn't wanted to kill his mother. She had felt his turmoil and heart-shattering pain when Leia was hit and died.  
But _kriff_ , she was angry and hurt and confused. And she needed some relief, in any way she could.  
And so she had lashed out at Ben, knowing he would respond in kind.  
And the moment she had, she had regretted it instantly.  
The look on his face had torn her heart and conscience to shreds.  
Now he sat across from her, like a granite statue.  
Ben's mind kept hearing her words.  
 _So that's how she sees me. How she still sees me…  
_ Anger swirled in his chest, threatening to overtake him. It formed a great big ball of fury and rage, leaving him restless and distraught, with a distinct need to inflict as much damage as he could.  
He was having trouble keeping his breathing under control when he heard her voice.  
"I'm sorry."  
He looked up and saw her staring at her plate.  
"What?" he growled.  
He watched as she swallowed.  
"I'm sorry." She repeated, just as softly. "I shouldn't have said that."  
She looked up at him from underneath her lashed and continued quietly.  
"I know you didn't mean for Leia to be hurt. I know…"  
She sighed softly as she lowered her eyes again and the words reached him across their Bond.  
 _I know it almost killed you when she died…  
_ "I'm not dealing with things very well."  
He watched her stumble over the words. She was obviously not used to admitting she was wrong.  
He needed to say something.  
But he couldn't say what he was thinking. That would create an even bigger rift between them.  
He sighed and for the first time in his life, wondered what Han would have said. For all his faults, the man seemed to have had a way with women, but his loyalty to his mother had never been questioned. Leia had affectionately called it "the Solo-charm" and had seemed amused rather than jealous.  
So he said the most "Han-thing" he could think of…  
"I know." He said softly.  
Her head lifted and her eyes found his. Surprise was evident in those hazel depths. The sight of those beautiful eyes rimmed red caused him more turmoil than it should. The freckles on the bridge of her nose stood out sharper against the pallor of her skin. Her lips were parted softly, and he tried not to notice how lush they were or how her bottom lip pouted ever so slightly.  
This time, he was the one to avert his eyes.  
"Neither am I." he said quietly. He frowned.  
Rey watched as he did that unbelievably cute thing with his mouth. The gesture he made whenever he was insecure.  
 _This isn't going very well._ He thought.  
He was admitting a lot more things today, on purpose and otherwise. He needed to change the tide.  
"Do you think you can handle more of my company?" he asked.  
He looked up at her, and those dark eyes seemed softer, lighter somehow.  
"I want to show you something."  
She frowned, and for the first time since leaving Dantooine, she felt her lips curve into a smile.  
"Only if you think you can stomach more of mine…" She let her words trail off.  
Something showed in his gaze, but she couldn't tell what it was for the life of her.  
He nodded and stood. Rey followed his example.  
He walked over to the bed and picked up the restraints.  
Rey's sharp intake of breath caused him to look back at her.  
Her eyes seemed heavy lidded and her chest was heaving slightly with her quickened breathing.  
Blood rushed straight to his groin when he recognized the look in her eyes.  
Another vision popped in his head. Almost identical to the one he had had in her cell earlier.  
He could feel her excitement rise. He tamped his own down. He would not get distracted, dammit!  
His voice sounded rusty and hoarse when he spoke up.  
"I told you to stop doing that." He chastised her.  
"Raise your hands."  
She swallowed.  
"Is this really necessary?"  
"Yes." He said roughly as he clasped the restraints on her wrists.  
"Seeing as how you've tried to kill me more than once and considering current circumstances, I'm not going to let you run around this ship unbound."  
Her face contorted at those words.  
"You don't trust me?" she exclaimed.  
He actually had the nerve to smile at her.  
"No."  
For reasons unknown, that actually hurt her.  
He tugged the restraints, testing if they were on properly.  
"Fine." She bit out. "But just so you know, I wouldn't escape. I don't have anywhere left to go, remember?"  
A twitch near his nose was the only indication he'd heard her.  
"Shall we?" he asked as he grabbed her upper arm gently and guided her towards the door.  
"Where are we going?" she asked.  
"You'll see." Was all he said.  
The walked through corridors and intersections, and took the elevator down.  
They passed several Troopers and Officers, but aside from a curious glance or two, no one paid them any attention except get out of their way.  
She was "The Jedi Girl' walking down the hall with the Supreme Leader himself after all.  
Nobody wanted that kind of trouble on their hands…  
The ended up in the large hangar. Several large ships, shuttles and TIE-fighters were docked.  
The frown on Rey's face was adorable, but Ben was very careful not to let it show.  
She was busy looking around at all these huge ships. She'd seen similar, older models on Jakku, buried in the sand where they had crashed. She had rarely seen one in it's real scale, and she was in awe.  
Suddenly they stopped and she looked at Ben first and then looked ahead.  
Her mouth fell open when she saw where he had taken her.  
There was a large open area in the middle of the hanger. In it's center, a large ship was stationed.  
 _The Falcon…  
_ It looked pretty much the same as it had when they had left Dantooine.  
He pushed the switch to bring the ramp down. When it touched ground, he led her up the ramp.  
She paused inside and he stopped next to her.  
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.  
He watched her face closely.  
Her eyes were misted when she reopened them.  
She loved this piece of junk as much as Han had.  
 _As much as I did once._  
She looked up at him, the question clear in her eyes.  
"You brought back the Falcon?" She asked quietly.  
He merely nodded in response.  
"Why? And why are we here?"  
He took a deep breath.  
 _Damned if I know…  
_ "Because there are things on this ship that are of interest to me." He replied calmly.  
She frowned at his mysterious answer.  
He took a few steps and turned to look back at her over his shoulder.  
"I have reason to believe you took Luke's precious Jedi Texts on board."  
The surprise on her face would have been funny if it hadn't been quickly followed by her suspicion.  
Her stance got defensive.  
"How do you know that?" She asked in an angry voice.  
He needed to deflect her mood if he wanted this deal of theirs to grow into something positive.  
"Don't look at me like that, Rey." He spoke gently.  
"They were in your room that day Leia caught us…" His voice trailed off when he remembered what they had been doing when his mother had burst through the door.  
Her cheeks flamed, but her demeanor did not change.  
"Why do you want them?"  
The corners of his mouth turned up slightly.  
"We'll be spending a lot of time together, I presume. I won't always have the time to entertain you, though. I thought perhaps you might like something to read."  
She frowned at his response.  
"Also, I'm pretty sure my lightsaber is on this ship."  
"It won't do either of us any good." She was quick to interject.  
"That lightsaber was broken in half when…"  
Again her voice trailed off, not wanting to relive that painful memory of when she had failed this man before her because she had been unable to see beyond her own truth.  
"When you tried to take it from me." He finished harshly.  
"That doesn't diminish its value to me. I can probably repair it. Or if it is beyond repair, I can build a new one with the same kyber-crystal." He added dryly.  
He watched her closely as she took in that information. She nodded to acknowledge what he had just said.  
She lowered her gaze and linked her fingers together. A strong feat, considering the restraints on her wrists.  
"It's in my room."  
 _You're in my old room…_  
The memory creeped in without warning.  
She blushed as a thought came to mind.  
 _Our room…_  
He gestured his hand and let her lead the way.  
It was a strange sensation to actually be in this room in person again, after all these years.  
The last time he had been on this ship in person, had been on Starkiller Base, when Han had come to Rey's rescue. He'd been inside the cockpit, but had been too overtaken with memories to travel further down the ship.  
It was smaller than he remembered. Then again, he hadn't been quite as tall or broad back then.  
He watched as she bent over and reached underneath the thin matrass.  
"I can't get the second half with these restraints on." She said as she looked up at him.  
He walked over and she stepped aside, having to stand with her back against the wall.  
He reached underneath the matrass and took out the second half of the lightsaber.  
He straightened and stood closer than he had anticipated.  
The familiarity of the scene slammed into both of them.  
Their heartbeats seemed to merge into one and they could only stare at each other.  
Rey's breath caught at the look in his eyes.  
Her voice was filled with wonder when she whispered his name.  
"Ben."  
The sound of his name on her lips so softly, combined with that gentle look in her eyes and the nearness and warmth of her body made his resilience crumble.  
Tossing the lightsaber on the bed, he lifted her restraints over her head and pinned her to the wall with his bigger frame.  
His heated gaze bore into hers and he almost growled her name affectionately.  
"Rey."  
And then he took her lips in a kiss so passionate it made her toes curl. 


	23. Chapter 22

The moment his lips touched hers, time froze.  
The sensation of having his mouth on hers again, of that incredibly delicious friction of his lips against hers, was overwhelming.  
She let out a low moan, one that came from somewhere deep within her.  
He kissed her hungrily, like a starving man. As if he hadn't kissed her in eons, rather than only forty-eight hours ago. As if he'd die if he didn't have her lips against his.  
He braided his fingers with hers over her head and deepened his kiss even more, opening her mouth wider and letting his tongue caress hers in maddening strokes.  
 _Never enough!_  
The words spilled into their Bond, but neither knew which one had thought them.  
Their world spun out of control.  
Their Bond was humming and singing load and clear, as if to say it was about time they were this close again.  
 _More…_  
He made a low growling sound at the back of his throat and the sound reverberated in her own chest, all the way down to her womb. It made her whimper.  
Her whimper made him moan.  
 _Always more…_  
Their breathing grew ragged and heavy.  
Desire coursed through their veins like liquid fire. Being so close again was like a drug.  
His lips left hers and she made a sound of despair at the absence of his mouth on hers. It quickly morphed into a purr as he trailed them across her cheek, to her neck.  
He nipped it with his teeth, then laved it with his tongue, causing her to tremble violently.  
He drew his lips towards her ear and whispered seductively.  
"Tell me you don't want this, and I'll back away."  
His hot breath on her ear made a shiver run down her spine.  
She felt him smile against her skin and could imagine perfectly how seductive it would look.  
"Do you want me to stop, Rey?" he whispered softly.  
His voice was smooth as silk, soft and gentle and tender. But she felt the despair behind it. The need.  
She shook her head and then whispered back: "Don't stop."  
 _Never stop!_  
He drew back slightly so he could look her in the eye.  
When his gaze met hers, there was nothing but this moment. Just the two of them. The world, their circumstances… it all melted away until there was nothing but the two of them, right now.  
He nodded once and then his gaze burned into hers.  
"I'm going to make love to you, Rey. Right here, right now." His eyes searched hers for any uncertainty, any lingering doubt. Instead, all he encountered was anticipation and excitement.  
"I'm going to make you forget everything." He continued softly, his voice barely above a whisper.  
"And I will make you scream my name. Over. And. Over. That is a promise." He said with the hint of a snarl.  
He watched as her eyes grew wide with surprise, and then heavy-lidded with her desire. Her mouth parted and her breathing accelerated.  
She felt his need through their Bond. It was just as strong as her own. It was both comforting and disconcerting that he wanted her so much as she wanted him. The power of this desire would have scared her, had it been with anyone else. But not with Ben. _Never with Ben…_  
"We'll see…" she said slowly, with a seductive little grin and a lift of her eyebrow.  
Now it was his turn to be surprised.  
With a loud growl, he leaned in and kissed her again.  
"Keep your hands above your head, do you understand?" His voice sounded pinched, as if it was costing him a lot of effort to get the words out. She nodded in response.  
He let go of her hands and started drawing the strings on the side of the uniform shirt achingly slow. Once they were untied, he pushed both sides aside and his hands slid inside to settle at her waist. Her body arched up to him involuntarily, craving more of his touch. She moaned and writhed against him, eager for more.  
 _More.. need more…  
_ He complied, putting both of his hands on her breasts and squeezed, flicking his thumbs over her nipples. The sensation caused her to break their kiss, as she threw her head back and gasped loudly.  
He bent and took one in his mouth, sucking and laving at it. Rey let out a small cry that sounded almost like a sob.  
His hands pushed her pants down her legs in one fluid motion, the cold rush of air causing goosebumps on her thighs. He stepped his foot on the crotch and she lifted her foot intuitively, fumbled for a few moments before effectively stepping out of the ugly orange trousers.  
He went down on one knee, grabbed her bare buttocks and squeezed, making her whimper again.  
"Ben…" she moaned softly as his mouth trailed up and down her thighs. He would get close to her core, only to draw back again. Before long, she was shuddering violently from her desire.  
His breath was hot on the tuft of downy curls at the apex of her thighs.  
Rey closed her eyes in agony. She was slowly but surely losing her mind.  
"Rey, look at me." He said with authority.  
Without even hesitating, she did as he asked.  
A mischievous glint shone in his eyes.  
"Beg me." He said, the challenge in his eye unmistakable.  
As much as she wanted him to put his mouth on her, she knew what he was doing.  
She lifted her chin and met his stare head-on.  
"No." she said, the same twinkle in her eye.  
He smiled, his face so handsome it made her toes curl and she dug her fingers in her palms to prevent her from doing just that.  
He slowly rose and stood before her, raising himself to his full, intimidating height.  
It only aroused her even more.  
His smile still in place he took her chin between his thumb and forefinger. His eyes were too soft to make his next words sound like a threat.  
"I'll make you beg yet." He said with determination.  
She smiled back at him and whispered back.  
"You can try." Her eyes too were too gentle to be deemed fully defiant.  
His other hand trailed down her chest, over her stomach and down that mound of pure heaven he knew.  
"Oh, I will." He smirked and kissed her again while his fingers played havoc on her most sensitive part.  
Her breathing came in short bursts as his fingers found a rhythm that drove her wild. He left her mouth and trailed down her neck once more, to rain hot wet kisses on her neck, collarbone and shoulder. His right hand kept touching her in that maddening way while his left fondled her breast.  
He could feel her excitement build, both around his fingers as through their Bond and he knew she was close. Her cries got louder with every stroke. He watched with fevered eyes as her fingers bit into her palms harder, her knuckles turning white.  
"Ben!" she screamed.  
Right before she was to find her release, he withdrew from her, leaving her shaking.  
her eyes flew open, despair shone in them.  
She had been so close!  
"Ready to beg yet, Scavenger?" he said affectionally.  
He saw her conflict. Her body was straining, craving the release she knew he could bring her.  
Her pride would not allow it.  
She lifted her chin and looked him straight in the eye.  
"You'll have to do better than that…" she shot back.  
Everything about her demeanor and body language defied her words. He wasn't offended.  
This was the game.  
"As you wish." He growled, his voice a low rumble.  
He lifted his tunic slightly, opened the button and lowered the zipper on his trousers slowly. Her eyes were on him the entire time.  
He shoved his hands in his pants and with a quick push shoved them halfway down his muscular thighs.  
The thought of making love to him, against a wall on the Falcon, with their clothes still on…  
"What are you afraid of, Scavenger?" He asked softly as he stepped closer.  
He stood a hair's breadth away, his heat seeping into her, the cold surface of the wall behind her in shrill contrast. His erection brushed against her stomach and she trembled even harder.  
"Afraid? I'm not afraid of you!" she countered.  
"No?" He asked again in that low voice, smooth as silk. "You're trembling. You're out of breath."  
His eyes roamed her up and down, his gaze leaving her nerve endings on fire wherever it touched.  
"You're either afraid or aroused…" he mused with a slight smile.  
She met his gaze and bit her lower lip, somehow sensing how much he liked it when she did that.  
"I'll leave that to you to find out…" she trailed off.  
Without warning he lifted her off the floor.  
A sound of surprise slipped from her mouth, but she quickly recovered. He pinned her up to the wall and she instinctively wrapped her legs around his waist.  
"You know…" he started in the softest tone she'd heard from him so far, "I've been dreaming about this ever since that time we first kissed through our Bond."  
He let his hands slide down over her butt, his fingers skimming over her cleft.  
She was more than ready for him.  
"And now…" he whispered as he gazed into her eyes with passion blazing in his own, "I make you mine again."  
In one swift movement he thrust into her.  
They both cried out, throwing their heads back at they were suddenly overtaken with sensation.  
Once more, she screamed out his name.  
The intensity of their joining seemed to rock the very core of the Falcon. Their bodies, as well as their minds and souls seemed to merge and they were no longer able to tell where one of them started and the other ended.  
 _More! Always more! Never enough…_  
Driven by the passion they had tried to suppress, they started moving.  
Soon they found a wild rhythm, his thrusts becoming frantic.  
Their cries and moans and roars seemed to echo and bounce off the walls, the power of their Bond and the Force combined into a surge of energy. The bedding and various objects lifted into the air, floating around, but neither of them even noticed.  
Engrossed in each other, they were oblivious to anything around them.  
Their mouths met again in a volatile kiss as the pressure began to build unbearably.  
They were both so close. _So very close!_  
He whispered against her open mouth.  
"Beg me, Rey."  
She felt his desperation through their Bond, felt that he desperately _needed_ her to beg him. Needed her to need him. It was what drove her over the edge.  
"Please, Ben." She said on a sigh. "Please, please, please." She said, punctuating every word with a brush of her lips against his.  
She felt his relief flow through the Bond and he smiled gently, content.  
His right hand cupped her butt and squeezed while his left hand slowly crept up her body, to intertwine his fingers with hers above her head.  
He shifted his pelvis and slowed down ever so slightly, hitting her in that sweet spot only he could reach. Every single thrust of his hips was intentional and with precision and banged her further up the wall.  
She whimpered and writhed and it took no more than fifteen seconds before she came undone.  
"Ben!" she screamed out his name as passion overtook her.  
"Rey." He growled out low as he too was overcome with his orgasm. Her inner muscles clamped down on him and he pushed into her as deep as he could, sheathing himself fully. He spent himself deep inside her, pulling her down on his cock as the last spasms wrecked through him.  
Breathing hard, he rested his forehead against hers and closed his eyes.  
The words were on the tip of his tongue.  
He almost said them.  
Almost let them tumble through their Bond.  
He caught them just in time, just barely managing to shield his thoughts from her in his weakened state.  
But he thought them all the same.  
 _I love you, Rey._


	24. Chapter 23

Ben let his hand travel up and pulled her hands down to rest on his shoulders.  
Instantly her arms pulled him closer.  
His forehead rested against hers, and they were still fitted snugly together.  
They stayed that way until their rapid breathing and heartbeats had slowed down.  
His eyes were still closed when he broke the silence.  
"Rey…" he started, his voice hoarse, "I'm sorry. This wasn't what I had planned, I swear. I…"  
He was interrupted by the touch of her lips on his.  
After a brief brush, she whispered against his lips.  
"I know."  
Her mouth captured his again in a sweet, slow kiss. Her emotions flowed through their Bond, and it left him stunned.  
 _She's happy. Content._  
He felt it then.  
It wrapped around him like a cloak, like a soft blanket warming him down to his insides. It glowed like a beacon, radiant like a sun. Familiar and oddly welcome.  
 _The Light.  
_ The temptation to go with it, to let it manifest and blossom in his chest was strong.  
That thought, that feeling, was enough to rouse him from his stupor. He ended the kiss gently and grabbed her waist, stepped away from the wall and slowly let her slide down.  
He looked down and she was smiling at him. A real smile. One that made her eyes sparkle and changed her appearance from beautiful into breathtaking. She was back to being his Rey, the Rey she should be, with her spunk and her sass and that incredibly sexy confidence, instead of that broken mess she had been yesterday and this morning. And it was because of him.  
 _I made her happy._  
His mind was reeling. The thought that he could make someone else _happy_ , that he could make _her_ happy, was startling.  
The confession of his feelings for her still burned on his tongue, threatening to rush out and tell her how he felt still a very dangerous thing.  
He couldn't tell her now. He couldn't let her know. Confessing it to himself was bad enough. If she knew, if she knew of his weakness for her, surely she would exploit it. It's what people always did.  
And if others found out, they would _definitely_ take advantage of the fact. Hux would turn it into a weapon against him, using it as a tool to overthrow him and his power as the Supreme Leader, claiming that Rey's influence was leading the Order into chaos and anarchy.  
Besides, he wasn't sure she felt the same way. Well, she felt _something_ for him, he knew that much. But he didn't know if she could ever grow to love him back. Not like he loved her. She'd already turned him down twice. He couldn't stand for a third. _  
It would kill me._  
But then, there were the visions… Somewhere in the back of his mind, he heard that child's giggle again…  
He shouldn't be thinking of that right now. He had to protect himself. Had to keep his guard up, no matter what. He needed to stay focused on his goals, on the present.  
He cleared his throat.  
"Rey…" he said as he lowered his eyes.  
"Don't to that, Ben." She said sternly.  
It caused him to look up into her eyes again.  
She was still smiling, but there was a hint of worry in those hazel eyes again.  
He frowned.  
"Don't do what?" He braced himself for whatever she was going to say.  
"Don't close yourself off from me again." She said softly. Her hands came up to bury themselves in his hair, difficult as it was with her restraints still in place.  
Her eyes were soft, her lips swollen from their heated kisses, a gorgeous flush still on her cheeks.  
"I know you, Ben. I feel everything you feel. Remember?" she said with a small grin and a twinkle in her eyes.  
"I know you're conflicted still." She continued in a soft voice.  
"But I would like it if you tried to be yourself when we're in private. No pretending. No holding back." She gazed deeply in his eyes and he felt his heart give a tug.  
What she whispered next made his heart jump even more.  
"We'll just be ourselves. Just me. And just you…" she smiled and her emotions slammed into him. And not for the first time, he wished he could be the man she wanted him to be.  
"Can you do that for me?  
He swallowed several times, his Adam's apple bobbing furiously, before he was able to find his voice.  
"I can try." Was all he said.  
A wide, uninhibited smile was his reward.  
She nodded and got up on her toes to press her lips to his again.  
He kissed her back and felt that familiar hunger starting to claw at his belly.  
He pulled back reluctantly and looked into her eyes. His passion was reflected in her own eyes, and he knew they could get in a lot of trouble. With more determination than he felt, he spoke up.  
"We should go."  
He ducked so her arms could go over his head, then knelt at her feet to help her but her pants back on.  
As he worked quickly to get her dressed again, as he was tying the strings on the side of the wrap around uniform shirt, he kept feeling her excitement through their Bond.  
He ignored it, and the effect it had on his own body.  
He quickly straightened his own clothes, gathered the broken lightsaber, handed her a few of the books and carried the others.  
"Shall we?" he asked bluntly.  
She nodded and together they exited the Falcon in silence.

General Hux walked up into the main hangar's command post, to find several of his officers staring out the view console.  
"What in the Galaxy is going on here?" He raised his voice, sadistically enjoying seeing them scramble and jump at the sound of his voice. Several of the officers turned an embarrassed shade of red, trying to find their voices.  
One young man straightened his shoulders and addressed him crisply.  
"Beg your pardon, Sir. We were all just astounded, General Hux."  
Hux clasped his hands behind his back in his usual manner and lifted a single red eyebrow.  
"By what were you all astounded, if I may ask?" He said in a derogative tone.  
Another young man piped up from the back of the crowd.  
"By that ship, Sir." He said squeakily as he pointed out at the Millenium Falcon. "It just started acting strange all of a sudden."  
Hux immediately glanced out at the ship Ren had insisted on retrieving. The same "piece of junk" he had ordered them to shoot out of the sky at the battle of Crait.  
 _The failure of Crait...  
_ What he saw, made his frown deepen.  
The Falcon seemed to be shaking or trembling rather. The lights seemed to sputter, a low rumble could be heard all the way down to the command post.  
"Is someone trying to steal the ship?" He barked tersely. "Did one of the prisoners escape?" He continued with mild alarm in his voice. "Who is on board of that freighter?" he all but shouted.  
"No one is trying to steal the ship, Sir." The officer who had spoken first said calmly.  
"The Supreme Leader came here with the Jedi Girl and they boarded the ship not fifteen minutes ago. The ship started acting like that about five to eight minutes ago."  
Hux's eyes narrowed to slits.  
A sick sense of foreboding crept over him.  
 _Ren and the Girl… Together... On board of her ship…_  
Fury coursed through his body and he had trouble maintaining his cool façade.  
That girl was Ren's weakness. Supreme Leader Snoke had known it. Had discussed it with him before, after Ren had been unable to obtain the map from the girl who had resisted him. Neither Snoke nor Hux himself had understood why Ren had not followed the original plan and gone after the droid. But Snoke soon knew what Ren's motivations were. He was intrigued by her, by her power. And now that he had seen her from up close, Hux admitted that he understood why Ren was more than likely attracted to her physically as well. The desert rat cleaned up well. Too tanned and too lithe for his own taste, but nothing he couldn't get past.  
As he watched the Corellian freighter rumble and shake, he could very well imagine what was going on.  
 _She is seducing him_. He thought.  
Several minutes ticked by in silence as they watched the Falcon.  
A muscle twitched near his nose and he had to reign himself in, or it would have become a snarl.  
"Well…" he stated dryly, infecting as much indifference in his voice as he possibly could, "If the Supreme Leader is there, I'm sure it's allright. Whatever it is, it must be a show of his mighty power."  
As he spoke, the rumbling noise silenced, and the shaking of the ship subsided. The lights no longer flashed.  
He stuck his nose in the air and sniffed loudly.  
 _They must be done…  
_ He quirked another brow and his mouth pulled down.  
"The Supreme Leader knows what's best. If he is down there with the girl, then we will not interfere unless an emergency occurs." He turned and addressed the officer.  
"I have decided that there is need for more patrols in the area surrounding Naboo. General Organa's funeral will no doubt attract a lot of spectators and sympathizers. We need to be prepared for trouble. Prepare sufficient ships. The patrols need to start tomorrow morning at eight o'clock standard time and will continue for the duration of another standard week."  
the younger officer nodded in agreement and said: "Yes, Sir."  
As Hux was about to leave, a movement in the hangar caught his eye. Ren and the girl emerged from the freighter.  
 _What in the galaxy…  
_ Both the girl and Ren seemed to be carrying a pile of books. Ren also held something in his left hand, but Hux could not identify what it was.  
Bitterness and pure hatred rose like bile in the back of his throat.  
 _Soon…_ he thought to himself. _Soon, I will rid the galaxy of that arrogant piece of Bantha excrement and his whore. I will wipe the galaxy clean of Resistance scum and I will rule the First Order. Patience.  
Good things come to those who wait.  
_He watched as the pair exited the hangar, both seemed uptight and serious. Perhaps he was mistaken?  
 _At least she's still wearing her restraints…_  
Hux lifted his chin, gave a few final orders, then turned on his heel and left for his private chambers.  
 _Soon…_

Ben and Rey returned to his chambers in silence. Not a single word was said.  
Once they were inside his room, he walked over to a large cabinet on the left wall. He opened it and she saw several books and what looked like a calligraphy set and scrolls inside. He plunked his half of the books in and then motioned for her to hand him her pile.  
She frowned at him and said: "I thought you said I could read them?"  
"I did." He said as he walked over to her and took the books from her hands.  
"I also said you could read them when you were with me and if I wasn't able to entertain you myself."  
A deep crimson blush crept high on her cheeks at the mere thought of what his ideas of 'entertaining her" could entail. The visions he had put in her head earlier flashed before her.  
 _On his bed, straddling on the chair, bent over the tiny table, pressed up against his wall, in the fresher…  
Pressed up against his wall… Check!_  
"Rey, stop it." He sounded slightly angry. Pained almost.  
He shoved the books next to the others on the shelf and all but slammed the door shut.  
She frowned at his display of irritation.  
He looked up at her and his eyes were guarded again.  
She felt her heart tumble at the sight.  
 _You promised you'd try.  
_ "Rey…" he started, and she saw how his nostrils flared slightly as he let out a heavy sigh.  
"What happened in the Falcon, shouldn't have happened. We both know that. However enjoyable, that was not what our agreement is about." He said stoically.  
It felt like a slap in the face. Her defiant nature be damned, but she couldn't help herself.  
"Do you regret it?"  
His eyebrows shot up briefly. He tilted his head slightly and asked: "What?"  
She lifted her chin and gave him her haughtiest look.  
"Do you regret it?" she repeated slowly, pronunciating every word clearly.  
He gave her an angry look, but did that sweet thing with his mouth, where he seemed to be chewing on the inside of his lower lip.  
"Whether I regret it or not is beside the point. It shouldn't have happened. We both know it." He said firmly.  
"This was not what I had in mind when I offered you that deal. You were to keep me company, not to warm my bed."  
Again his mouth and the muscle beneath his left eye twitched.  
Rey looked at him and shook her head.  
"Perhaps you're right." She started calmly.  
"Perhaps it shouldn't have happened. Perhaps we both know that."  
She stepped closer to him, and his mind immediately took him back to that moment they'd shared in the elevator when she had come to see him on the Supremacy.  
"But we both also know that it's inevitable." Her eyes fell to his lips briefly, then locked with his gaze again. The intensity and sincerity in them scorched his soul.  
"It would have happened sooner or later anyway. And probably will happen again too."  
Her lips parted and he felt her heartbeat pick up its pace through their Bond.  
"We are drawn to each other, despite our will. We are bound by the Force. We…"  
"We need to get past it." He interrupted abruptly.  
"There is a lot on my mind right now." He continued with steely resolve.  
"I have a galaxy to rule, a council to reform, a legion to train and a funeral to plan. I don't have the time or the luxury for this kind of distraction."  
Rey's eyes widened in surprise. Then narrowed them as her anger quickly took over.  
It radiated off of her in waves, and once again, Ben found himself secretly glad that this woman hadn't fully mastered her powers yet.  
"Fine." She said with a little inclination of her head.  
Ben's mind was a wondrous thing.  
He could remember most anything from his life if he wanted to. And in that very moment, he remembered every single occasion when Han and Leia had fought. And he remembered every time Leia had said 'Fine' in that exact same tone. He also remembered how Han had always scrambled to make it up to his wife after that. Either that or take off on one of his trips. One memory in particular crashed into him with ferocity…

 _Another fight.  
Another shouting match.  
The little ravenhaired boy sitting on the sofa couldn't tell how many times they'd fought this month.  
He watched as his mother, with his father on her heels, stalked into the living room where he was playing with his miniature falcon.  
"There's no kriffing way in Hell that I'm coming with you to that banquet, Leia! Your snooty senator friends always make me feel like I'm some sort of alien species insect that needs to be examined under a microscope. Take someone – Amilyn, Ackbar, Poe, … anyone! – else, I don't care, but don't count on me to go with you, sweetheart!"  
His mother whirled around and narrowed her eyes at Han.  
"Is that your definitive answer?" she asked coolly.  
"Yes." He said, and twitched his lips.  
Leia raised an eyebrow and smiled sardonically.  
"Fine."  
"Fine." He responded.  
"FINE!" she shouted back.  
She turned around and stalked into her bedroom, slamming the door and locking it.  
Han stood in the middle of the living room, his hands on his hips, hanging his head.  
He let out a heavy sigh and shook his head. As he turned to walk out, he noticed his son sitting crosslegged on the floor, looking up at him with those big soulful dark eyes. His mother's eyes in his father's face. That's how people described him.  
Han smiled at him and some of the tension seeped from his father's shoulders.  
"Hey there, kid."  
"Hi."  
"You okay?"  
He could only shrug his shoulder.  
Han crouched down, and then sat down on the floor with him.  
"I'm sorry you had to see that." He said gently. "Again…"  
He looked at his son, and they both chuckled a little at that.  
"Look kid, your mom and I, we…" He heaved a heavy sigh.  
"Your mom and I are like oil and vinegar. We go together, but we don't mix well. One isn't the same without the other, they complement each other, but they only blend for small periods of time."  
The little boy looked up at him with those big eyes, so much like his mother's and Han melted every time.  
He reached out and put his hands under his armpits, easily lifting him off the floor and rolling onto his back, making the kid 'fly'.  
The boy laughed and giggled, as only five-year old's can. After a few moments, his father rolled back into a sitting position and put him on his lap.  
"Ben, let me tell you something, son. A little early advice from your old man."  
He looked into his son's eyes earnestly.  
"When a woman says 'Fine', like your mother just did, it's NEVER fine. When a woman says 'Fine' in that tone of voice, you better remember that you're in a lot of trouble. That's the moment you need to keep your guard up and that you have to realize you did something wrong. And that you need to figure out a way to make it right. Because otherwise, you're in for a loooooooooong time-out. Do you understand, son?"  
He blinked. He was only five. What was he supposed to understand about women at that age?  
But he didn't want to cause more trouble than necessary.  
So he just nodded and dutifully said "Yes, daddy."  
Han smiled at him and nodded in response.  
"Good." he uttered as he kissed the top of that unruly mop of raven hair.  
"Now I'd better get packing."  
The boy looked up at him with alarm.  
"Are you leaving again, daddy?"  
His father lowered his eyes and nodded.  
"But you just got back!" he complained.  
"Ben, I have a delivery to make."  
Big, silent tears started down the boy's face.  
"I'll be back before you know it! Next time, we'll go out and do something fun. I'll let you fly the Falcon, what do you think? And I'll bring you something special. Is that a deal?"  
The boy simply nodded and hung his head.  
Han kissed the top of his head again and walked away.  
Unknowingly breaking two hearts in the same day._

Ben was pulled back into the present with a violent shudder.  
Han's words rung in his head.  
 _When a woman says 'Fine', like your mother just did, it's NEVER fine. When a woman says 'Fine' in that tone of voice, you better remember that you're in a lot of trouble. That's the moment you need to keep your guard up and that you have to realize you did something wrong. And that you need to figure out a way to make it right. Because otherwise, you're in for a loooooooooong time-out.  
_ And Rey had used the exact same tone…  
"Rey…" he started.  
She took a step back and he had the feeling she would have crossed her arms if she hadn't been wearing restraints.  
She looked away, towards his window and said in a collected voice.  
"I would like to return to my cell now."  
Her mouth was drawn into a grim line, her eyes flashing with anger. Even if they weren't exactly looking in his direction, they were as intimidating as his Knights.  
Her words cut through him, but he realized he only had himself to blame.  
He drew himself to his full height and inclined his head.  
"As you wish." He said calmly, even as his mind raced and his heart protested.  
He walked over to his intercom and within the time it took to breath, an officer sounded through.  
"Yes, Supreme Leader?"  
"The prisoner is ready to return to her cell. Please arrange for an accompaniment of Storm Troopers to assist her on the way back."  
"Yes, Supreme Leader. Right away. Is there anything else you require?"  
"No, that will be all."  
"Very well, Sir. We will send the Troopers over immediately."  
He paused for a moment, trying to think of a way to rectify the situation at hand.  
He turned and was about to speak when Rey spoke up.  
"If the chrono on your wall is correct, I have been in your company for three hours and a half. If I'm not mistaken, that entitles us to one hour and ten minutes. Am I correct."  
He breathed in deeply, steeling himself against the onslaught of his own turmoil.  
"Yes, that is correct."  
"What time and where are we allowed to spend that time?"  
She still wasn't looking at him. She was studying the floor at her feet.  
He let out a silent sigh, and tried to sound detached.  
"There is an inside garden next to the prison warden's cafeteria. I will make arrangements that you and your friends may have your lunch there. I will be there myself to escort you to the area and to lay out a few ground rules. "  
She was shielding her thoughts and emotions well, but still her surprise slipped through their Bond.  
She looked up at him, and this time it was her gaze that was guarded.  
"And you will not go back on your word?" she asked quietly.  
His anger spiked. His muscles around his mouth, nose and left eye twitched and he was silent for a moment or two.  
"I don't see why."  
She nodded.  
She was about to say something when there was a knock at the door.  
He looked at it and then his eyes found hers again.  
"It seems your escort has arrived…" his voice trailed off.  
They walked over to the door in strained silence.  
His eyes bore into hers and for once there was nothing shielded in his gaze.  
"Goodnight, Rey." He whispered.  
She inclined her head.  
Then the door was opened and she was ushered outside by the Troopers.  
As he closed it again, his room felt lonelier than ever before.  
He grit his teeth.  
Filled with determination, he walked over to his intercom again.  
"Yes, Supreme Leader?" the mechanical voice of the officer sounded once more.  
"Arrange for an Holo-meeting with my Knights on Mustaphar."  
"Yes, Supreme Leader. They should respond in mere seconds, Sir. Do you require anything else, Supreme Leader?"  
"No."  
The contact was broken.  
He walked over to the Hologram Projector on his desk.  
It was time for his Knights to come back home. 


End file.
